Chapter 5

~Phoenix~

Eleven months after I met him, my world was turned upside down. Half of the pack was brutally killed. Keith lost both of his parents, and I lost Keith when they banished his brother, and he left with him.

I had eleven months of pure happiness. 

For eleven fleeting months, I had a boyfriend who was also my best friend and the love of my life. For eleven months, I finally knew what a gentle touch felt like. For eleven months, I knew what it felt like to be called an endearing pet name, and I finally knew what it was like to be loved and wanted by another soul.

But it all came crumbling down around me. The love I thought I would have forever walked out of my life and never returned, despite how desperately I prayed every night for him to come back to me.

That was fourteen years ago.

I withdrew from the world. I left the orphanage behind, moved my few belongings back into my cave, and never spoke a single word again. Silencing my voice felt like the only way to protect what piece of my heart was left.

During those lonely years, I learned just how cold the winters could be in that cave, and I learned just how hard it was to feed myself when the ground was covered in snow. 

But then something happened, or rather, someone happened. One freezing morning, I woke up to find a large woven basket full of food and supplies sitting at my cave entrance. 

At first, I thought it was a fluke. I assumed someone had set it down and forgot to come back for it. But a week later, another basket appeared at my cave entrance.

From then on, it became clockwork. Each week, I woke up to a new basket of supplies. 

The basket was always full of things I needed, and not just food. But one item stood out, the one that made my chest tighten and made me think of Keith: the tea. It was the same special blend Keith had crafted for me when he realized he had guessed my rank wrong. He originally thought I was an Omega, but I'm something rarer; I'm a submissive Delta 3. 

Keith had me drink it to hide the scent of my submissive Delta 3 wolf, which had been steadily growing stronger since the day I turned sixteen, and would continue to grow stronger until I turned seventeen, which is when it would reach its full peak. 

Keith always warned me that it was not safe if a dominant wolf caught my scent. He explained that a submissive Delta 3’s scent was not only just as sweet as an omega's, but it was sharper, stronger, and far more alluring.

He told me I was rare. He said he'd only read about submissive Delta 3s in books and had never met one until me.

He told me I was exactly like how the books described. He told me I was beautiful and adorably small, just like a delicate Omega. He told me we're everything an Omega is, and to some, we're even better, because our facial features are slightly masculine, and we cannot get pregnant as easily as an Omega. In fact, it's rare for us to get pregnant, especially for male submissive Delta 3. There are only a handful of documented cases where a male submissive Delta 3 successfully carried and delivered. 

The basket provided me with enough tea to have one cup every day, just as Keith had given me. Then, once enough of the herbs had built up in my system to mask my wolf, the dose was lowered to one cup twice a week, just like Keith had given me… How did this person know? 

At first, a spark of hope made me think Keith had secretly returned for me, but then I realized I didn't smell him anywhere, nor could I feel him. A short while later, I remembered he once told me where he got the special flowers from, and I realized it must be her… Jerry's wife. A close family friend of the Gallo family. 

They grow wheat, with large fields as far as the eye can see. And on a smaller scale, she grows herbs and flowers. And one of those flowers is particularly difficult to grow… But not for Deborah.

Determined to see if I was right, I woke up early one morning to sneak outside and hide.

I left the empty basket at the entrance like I always did, then quickly climbed into my hiding spot high in a tree.

I waited high up in a tree, my ears twitching at every rustle of leaves, until finally, I saw someone coming. A lady with long, light brown curls that reached the middle of her back approached. A large basket was slung over her arm, and as she got closer, she stopped humming her soft little tune. 

Her steps grew quieter as she approached the entrance of the cave. She picked up the empty basket and replaced it with the full one hanging over her arm.

As she placed the empty basket on her arm, she stiffened and then slowly stood. She stood perfectly still for a few moments, and I tilted my head curiously at her. 

“I was wondering if I would ever meet you face-to-face.” Her voice was soft and somehow calming. 

She slowly turned around, then lifted her head toward the sky until her eyes landed on me. I gasped, and my stomach dropped. 

‘How did she know where I was?!’

She smiled up at me, and my fear faded a little.

“Don't worry. I won't tell anyone about you, not unless you want me to.” I quickly shook my head, and she chuckled. “Okay! My lips are sealed,” she said, pretending to zip her lips closed and lock them, then adorably threw the invisible key over her shoulder. 

Looking down at her from the safety of the tree, a smile spread across my face. I covered my mouth with both hands and let out a small giggle that echoed through the quiet woods. For a moment, I was tempted to climb down from the tree and go to her. But I didn't. I stayed right where I was, where it was safe. 

“I don't smell your submissive Delta 3 wolf anymore, so I'm assuming you've been drinking the tea. Am I correct?”

I nodded quickly, and she smiled, humming a soft approval as she nodded back at me. 

“I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner.” She paused, looking down at her feet before meeting my eyes again. “You know… after Keith left with Jason.” 

She swallowed hard, her expression saddening. “Jerry and I were devastated that Robert and Diane died. Diane was my best friend, and Robert was Jerry's. We found a little comfort in knowing their children were still here, and we could look after them. That we'd at least have a piece of them with us… but that bastard—” Her voice cracked, and she abruptly cut herself off, covering her mouth with a trembling hand as she looked away. Her chest shuddered, and she shook her head, then wiped at her eyes, drying her tears. 

My lips trembled as I tried not to cry with her, but I failed, and my tears fell.

“I was mourning the loss of a family that was like an extension of ours, and I forgot about you. It wasn't until one day when I went out for a walk that I smelled your scent, and I remembered you were out here. 

Your scent was much stronger than it was when you first came to this pack. I knew I had to get you the tea before your scent reached its full potential. Once that happened, half the pack would be able to smell you from a mile away.” 

She looked away, took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. A moment later, she turned her head back up to me in the tree. 

“Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you that you don't have? Like maybe a sleeping bag, or more blankets?” 

I perked up instantly at the thought of getting a sleeping bag. That would help tremendously on cold nights, especially in the winter. 

I nodded eagerly, but I didn't dare speak. I didn't want to. I gave Keith my voice and heart, and he walked away, leaving me shattered. I never want to talk again for the rest of my life.

“A sleeping bag and blankets?” she asked again, confirming my silent request. 

I nodded once more, and she gave me a warm, reassuring smile as she nodded back. “Very well. I'll bring them tomorrow.” 

She took another deep breath as she looked away, then slowly let it out as she looked at me again. She looked at me for a long, quiet moment, evaluating me. “I take it you won't talk to me, will you?” She asked softly.

A wave of guilt washed over me, but I held my ground and shook my head.

She gave me a gentle, understanding smile and nodded. “It's okay… I get it. I don't know everything about you, but Keith told me a little. He talked about you a lot.” 

My eyes and nose began to burn as my eyes filled with tears. 

“He loved you, Phoenix! What he said that day… he didn't mean it. He said it to keep you safe. I hope you know that.”  

I looked away and covered my face as a sob broke free. I had come to terms with his words and the fact that he never loved me, so hearing her say that ripped the wounds wide open again.

She stepped forward instinctively, her hand reaching for me, but she caught herself and pulled it back, holding it against her chest. 

“I'm so sorry, Phoenix! I didn't mean to stir those feelings up again and hurt you. I just want you to know the truth: he loved you, very much! 

If there is anything I can do for you, or anything you need, please, don't hesitate to ask.” She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes again. “I'll be back tomorrow with a sleeping bag and blankets,” she said, then turned and left…

She did as she said. The next day, she returned with a thick, warm sleeping bag, a pillow, and several blankets.

Over time, she began to leave other things. Crates to store things in, like my extra blankets when they were not needed, and a foam mattress that came in a box and knocked me over when I opened it. I was quite angry at the mattress for that, but I got over it quickly when I laid on it for the first time.

Another time, she left a small portable propane stove like campers use, and a couple of bright pop-up lanterns with extra batteries to last me a long time. 

She even gave me a small portable fan for the summertime and, of course, extra batteries for it. 

She even brought me clothes when she noticed mine were starting to look like rags.

My little cave turned into a little home, furnished by her, and I was thankful and felt blessed that someone was looking out for me in this cold, lonely world.

I never had to worry about food, clothes, or anything really… that was until six years ago. 

One day, she came unexpectedly and called out to me from the entrance of my cave. She had never done that before, and it worried me. 

Even though I was scared, I slowly left the comfort of my cave to see what was wrong. 

She told me she was leaving. She was moving to her sister's pack on the West Coast. She said Jerry was staying because he refused to leave his farm that had been in his family for generations, but she couldn't stay anymore. 

She came to me because she wanted to show me how to grow the flowers, learn how to make the tea, and properly store it.

I listened closely and paid attention to every detail, and within weeks, I had my first seedlings sprouting. 

The week before she left, she began bringing supplies every day. She filled my cave with crates of dry goods and canned food. Then came the day she was to leave, and for the first time since Keith left, I felt human contact when I allowed her to hug me goodbye. 

She promised to return at least once a year, and she did… but only once. 

She visited once, restocked my cave, and that was the last time I saw her. It's been five years since I saw her, fourteen years since the day Jason was kicked out, and one week since Keith unexpectedly returned to visit Jerry. One week since I ran from the tree line, showing myself to him just to watch him drive right past me and leave me behind all over again.

I don't know why I foolishly expected him to come back for me. I knew better. 

He won't come back. He won't return for a broken ghost… But damn it, my heart is a fool. Every day I drag myself out near the road where I last saw his truck, hoping he will return for me.

I've considered looking for him, but I have no idea where to start. 

I've thought about searching for him, but what if, when I find him, he tells me to leave? Or worse, what if he tells me he has a mate? Children… A real family. 

That would crush me more than those hurtful words he spoke the day he walked out of my life.

Yet my wolf and heart won't stop yearning for him or begging me to go look for him.