Waking up to a cold, empty bed has never been an issue to me before. Which is why I couldn't wrap my head around the feeling of desertion, when I woke to a note on my pillow instead of the handsome man that laid there last night.
Gone to work.
So cold, yet so thoughtful- Oh who am I kidding. I wanted to stick that note up his ass for leaving. But then I'd remember that this was the arrangement. Sex. Which I failed to give him, yet he stayed.
'Just sex. Nothing more.' I said to myself and got ready to go to work.
Once I finally settled down at my desk I let out a big sigh and pushed all the lingering thoughts, about last night, out of my mind.
"Rough night?" Jason asks as I run by his office to give him some documents.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I said, praying to God he'd leave it at that. Seeing as I'm practicly sleeping with his little brother. Awkward office conversation.
To my relieve, he laughed and thanked me for bringing down the documents.
"Of course, my pleasure." I return his smile. "Have a great day, Mr. Stone."
"Likewise, Miss Woods." He replies, throwing a teasing wink my way as I return to my own office.
Jason Stone has always been like a father to me. He helped me with my homework whenever I would hang out at Lucas' place. He'd treat me like his daughter, when we're not at work of course. He tries to keep it professional between us at work, but it seems to be harder than he'd like to admit.
Not to forget that I'm screwing his brother- which he doesn't know- but still makes things a lot more complicater between the two of us. I'd never had to lie to him before I started this arrangement between Joshua and I. It kills me, knowing that I'm breaking his trust, when I tell him I went out with the girls when I'm actually still wired out because of his brother.
I know it'd only complicate things more when I tell people about the 'relationship' between Joshua and I. They'd never understand the kind of agreement we have.
Katherine would totally freak out and Jason would likely fire me- because of the innapropiate ties there'd be between us. Lucas, I don't even want to think aboht what Lucas would do. He'd kill me.
My phone rings, ripping me away from all the images I have in my head of Lucas killing me for sleeping with his uncle.
"Bella Woods." I answer.
"Chica!" Amy screams through the phone. "I've missed you so much. Where have you been? What you been up to? Who you been fucking? Is it Jason- jeez that guy winds me up."
"Oh my God, Amy. Quit it. He's a married man, for God's sake." I pinch my nose at her behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love her to death. But she's been obsessed with Jason Stone since she has known Lucas.
"Everything can be broken." She whispers through the phone.
"You're absolutely crazy."
"I know, but you love me." She says, dragging out the o in love. "Now tell me, who is it?"
Amy is one of a kind, I'd say. She's one of the most amazing people I've ever met and connected with, yet so different than I am. I guess it's true what they say, opposits do attract.
Amy is also the only one who would open a conversation with a sexual question. She always seemed to ask me aboht my sex life, which is quite boring actually.
I had my fair share of bed buddies, but they were nothing compared to Joshua. He needed nothing more than a whole night to ruin me for any other man. That fucker -pun intended.
"It's his brother." I reply to her earlier question without even thinking about the concequences.
"Who's brother? My brother?" She gasps. "Ieuw, you're fucking Dan? Girl, that's bloody disg-"
"No!" I cut her off. "Jason's brother, Amy."
"Huh." I can even hear over the phone that she's confused. She's never been the smartest, but she makes up for it in her personality. "Oh my LORD!" She squals. "Joshua!" She nearly shouts.
I instantly regret telling her, frightened by her excitement which caused her to blurt out a lot of my secrets in the past.
"Please shut your tramp, Ames. I'm serious, no one knows and it's just casual. Nothing serious, alright?"
"Yeah yeah. I'll see you tonight! You're going to tell me everything." She squeels before hanging up, denying me an opportunity to even say no to her statement of coming over tonight.
I guess I'll order some pizza.
"So, basically, you've been sleeping with the hottest guy on the planet and you've accidentally failed to mention him? Ok, maybe tbe second hottest guy, cause yaknow Jason-"
"Ok, ok, sorry." She chuckles at my annoyed expression and grabs another piece of pizza from the table. "But seriously, why didn't you tell me before?"
"I don't know." I mutter, partly ashamed of leaving such a big detail out of my life from her. Amy and I always tell each other everything, not leaving out the bad or dirty parts, literally everything. I've never minded not having a private life when it comes to Amy, I know she tries to keep it to herself. Sometimes she just gets too excited, and boom- it's out of her mouth before you know it.
I laugh a little as I think about Amy's excitement and the sequels to it.
"I guess I was afraid you'd tell people." I admit, watching her reaction which is nothing more than a chuckle along with a smile.
"I can understand that." She laughs, "I get way too excited sometimes." See? Even she says so. I'm no bad friend.
"Thanks, Ame." I hug her sideways on the couch and she wraps her petite arms around me.
"Always, chica." I laugh at her attempted Spanish. Chica is one of the few words she knows and doesn't fail to call me that whenever we see each other. I've had Puta thrown at my head once, less fun would I say.
"Now tell me, is he big?" She whispers in my ear. Her dirty mind is to die for.
"Definitely, biggest." I reply. I look at her wide eyes and burst out laughing as even her mouth falls open a bit.
"Care to share?" She winks at me seductively and raises her eyebrows.
"Definitely, not." I return to my own seet and pull my feet on the couch. "He's all mine." I say with a gigantic grin playing at my lips.
Amy rambles on and on about all the details she wants to know, making me relive it more than once.
Not that I mind, of course. Who would?
It's been a full week since I've heard anything from Joshua. I actually worry about him.
The most pathetic thing is, that I've been asking Jason about his well being. This seemed to set off some questions from his side, which I obviously tried to avoid.
I don't know why everything in my life seems to be wrapped around Joshua so much. He isn't even anything to me. I'm not even sure if you can call us friends. Not including the term, friends with benefits.
Another day at the office ought to rip me away from my bothering thoughts. How insufferable is it that I can't even get rid of my own disturbing thoughts. I'll just blame it on Joshua, seeing as he's the one who keeps spooking around in my brain.
"Goodmorning, miss Woods." Jason smiles at me from the doorpost of my office. "Joshua will be here today. I told him to come over, seeing as you keep asking me about him. I thought you two could catch up, old time sake."
It hurts me to keep a straight face, smile in response and politely nod at Jason as he leaves me to my suffering thoughts.
I groan, shake my head and let it fall onto my desk with a loud bang.
"Don't harm yourself, darling." An all too familiar voice comes through. "Wouldn't want to lose that pretty face of yours."
"Joshua, charming as ever." I say, looking up at him through my lashes.
Why? Why did Jason had to stood us up. I could hardly muster enough dignity to look him straight in his eyes. His gleaming blue eyes.
"I heard you've been asking about me, Bella." He closes my office door behind him, locking the both of us in these four small office walls. "Care about my well-being?"
"No." I hastily mutter. "You could get hit by a car for all I care." Bitch. That was so not necessary and not true, for that matter.
He lays a hand over his heart and leans over my desk. I could smell his familiar cologne as he hovers in front of me. "Ouch-" He whispers, "you're breaking my heart, Bella." He furrows his eyebrows and pouts at me. The glint in his eyes tell me just how amusing he thinks this is.
"What's there to break?" I wink at him innocently and bite my lip to hide my grin. The tension seemed to break as we both joked around. Luckily for me, my earlier response did not bother him at all.
His eyes shift to my lips for a split second and before I know it, his lips come down on mine furiously. He softly pulls at my bottom lip whilst his hand creeps up the side of my face. He loves to tease.
I pull away and shake my head laughing softly. I turn my attention to my laptop in front of me and continue working on one of Jason's files. "How have you been, Joshua?" I mutter, licking my lips as he groans whilst sitting down.
"Fine." He replies, "you free tonight?"
"Yes." He walk over to my side of the desk and turns my set towards him. He parts my legs with his knee and steps as close as he can. I gulp as he leans down and runs a suffocating hand along my leg.
"You're off your period, right?" I snort at his question and nod my head. Yes, since it's been a week.
"Good." He adds, "I'll see you tonight. Wear something sexy." He kisses my cheek and runs a finger along my jaw as he steps back. "Or nothing. Surprise me."
"Will do." I reply before even thinking about what I'm agreeing to. I haven't heard from him since last week and I still wouldn't have if it wasn't for Jason.
Jesus, I'm such a weak woman. All he has to do is smile and run his finger along my cheek and I'll obey every order he demands.
I feel like I'm becoming an Anastasia to his Christian Grey.
Well, why the hell not?
As long as he keeps the whip away, I'll obey.