2. Viktor - 16 Years Old

When the bright light disappears, I find myself still in my bedroom, but this time I lined my shelves with thick books, there are accounting papers and textbooks all over my desk and my room is incredibly neat.

From the old Nokia cell phone laying on top of my textbooks, I chuckle as I remember this phase of my life - Boring Viktor. 

I was a stickler for rules, never bending them for anyone, and had finished high school the day before I turned sixteen. My uncle, Dominik, advised me to go in the accounting direction since it would be an asset to the Bratva side of our family. I didn’t mind since crunching numbers was quite easy for me and I enjoyed it.

But as I watch myself pace the floor in worry, I realize that it’s the day before I turned sixteen - the day before my Mate Bond Sighting clicked. 

“Why bring me here?!” I exclaim, but of course, no one answers me. The last thing I want to see is the look on my face when I see Ilya or the way he faked his feelings for me.

I sigh and sit down on the bed, watching my sixteen-year-old self cross his arms and look out of the window.

“Come on, come on, hurry,” he says, looking at his watch and pacing again. I lean my elbows on my knees and frown as I look at him… What exactly was I waiting for back then?

Suddenly, he stops and his mouth hangs open; then he sprints out of the bedroom and I follow him out. When I get to the staircase after he runs downstairs, I see why he was so impatient - it’s four years after the incident and Kai has just returned from Russia to take over as Alpha.

“Blyadʹ, look at you all! What the fuck is Dominik feeding you?!” Kai’s accent is even more prominent now and I chuckle at the familiarity of it.

I slowly walk downstairs and when I see Kai, my heart just about breaks for him. Even though he’s smiling and hugging me and my brothers, he doesn’t look the same anymore, and neither does Kon, who has been away with him.

Kon was always the easy-going brother, but now can no longer be the care-free Beta; they’ve trained my brothers and hardened them both into leader and second-in-command. The spark that used to shine in Kai's eyes was no longer there…I’ve only just realized how dead he looks.

“We’re told if we want to be Volkovs, we gotta bulk up more,” Dimitri grumbles, looking unhappy. “Does it look like I wanna bulk the fuck up?”

Kai laughs and claps Dimitri on the back. “Well, the bulk looks good on you, little brother,” he says before looking around the room and frowning. “Where’s Nikolai?”

Ah. This was Nikolai’s rebellious age - not a very pleasant time for any of us because he always tried to undermine Kai and resented our brother for leaving right after our parents were killed.

“The little shit is probably holed up in his bedroom again,” Dimitri says, flopping down on the sofa. “He’s pissed off because he’s not allowed to go to the fair with us tomorrow night.”

The fair - fuck. Tomorrow night we all go to the fair except Kai and Nikolai… when the parasite gets implanted in Dimitri and he loses control of his wolf, only to kill Zofia.

“I’ll speak with him later on; for now, I need some sleep to prepare for the ceremony tonight,” Kai says before nodding his head and walking upstairs. 

I look at my sixteen-year-old self watching Kai walk away, biting the inside of my cheek and wondering if I’m ever going to get a chance to speak to him alone. He has a lot on his mind, I know, and bothering him with the minor issue about my sexuality seems mediocre in comparison to what he must be going through.

“Viktor, follow me,” Kai says from the top of the stairs and I see my sixteen-year-old self jump to his feet. I smile when I realize what’s coming next, then I walk behind them so I can be privy to this conversation that made me love and respect my brother even more.

After everything that happened, I forgot about this moment, and it was one of the best moments I had with Kai before he became distant.

I slipped into the bedroom and leaned against the wall, watching how anxious the younger Viktor was in the presence of his other brother. Kai throws his bags down next to his walk-in closet and sits down on the chaise lounge opposite the window.

“Now, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he asks, frowning. “I could smell your anxiety and stress the second I stepped foot inside here, little brother. Come, talk with me.”

Younger me sucks in a breath and nods his head before joining Kai, sitting on the one-seater opposite the chaise lounge. He leans his elbows on his knees and breathes out a sigh.

“Something’s wrong with me, Kai,” I start, unable to make eye contact with my big brother, who’s every inch what a man is supposed to be. 

Kai frowns, but the younger me doesn’t see the confused look on his face. “And what do you mean by that? Are you sick?”

Younger me chuckles sadly. “I think I might be,” he says, before looking up at Kai. “I’m not…I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The way you, Kon, and Dimitri are… I’m not like that.”

Kai nods. “You’re a lot more scholarly than we ever were, I understand. But Dominik has mentioned it could be good for the business side-”

“That’s not what I mean,” I interject, shaking my head. “Kai…I don’t…I can’t like… women.”

Young Viktor is still not looking up at Kai, but from what I can see, Kai’s eyebrows lift as he realizes what his younger brother is saying.

“And what’s the problem with that?” he says and the younger me whips up his head so fast that he goes squint for a second.

He looks at Kai and scoffs incredulously. “What’s the problem with that?! Kai, I don’t like girls, I like guys and you don’t see what the problem is?!” 

Kai shrugs and genuinely looks unbothered by the younger me literally coming out to him. “You like guys, so? That’s the way the Gods made you, and the gods do not make any errors in how we’re built-”

“Are you seriously telling me that right now?” the younger me scoffs again while hanging his head in his hands. “Are you just fucking with me right now, Kai? I’m being serious, you know!”

“What exactly makes you think I’m not being serious about my answer, little brother?” Kai says and gets to his feet before getting on his haunches in front of younger Viktor. “Look at me.”

He steeples his hands together in front of his mouth and Kai sighs. “Viktor, I understand the gravity of what you’re saying, but rest assured I do not love you any less nor do I think of you as any less of a man than me or Kon,” he says, placing a hand on young Viktor’s shoulder. “You’re still my little brother, no matter what your preference might be.”

Young Viktor’s bottom lip trembles and he blinks his tears away. “Do you…do you really mean that, Kai?”

My brother nods while giving a sincere smile. “I do, and if anyone has anything to say about it, I’ll rip out their throats. You’re my brother; one of the wolves who will run at my flank - my Delta. I accept you for who you are, Viktor. You do not even need to worry about that.”

My sixteen-year-old self gets to his feet and Kai engulfs him in an embrace. “Thank you, Kai,” he whimpers and Kai claps his back.

“No, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this; it can’t have been easy for you,” Kai says when they split and Viktor shakes his head.

“It’s been a difficult few years,” he admits, then he smiles. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Kai puts his hand on Viktor’s shoulder. “So am I, and I am not going anywhere again,” he says, before kicking me out because he needed to sleep. 

I watch as the younger me walks out of Kai’s room with a renewed smile on his face, knowing his brother and Alpha has accepted him.