Chapter 1 The man in memory

Lydia was completely drenched, rain pouring down relentlessly despite the rain gear. Water streamed off her sneakers, and her entire body felt cold and numb. Exhausted from trudging through the endless darkness, her steps grew slower and heavier.

A sweet voice, trembling with pain, escaped from her lips as she whispered to herself, "I have to get home before I fall apart." She knew that once she was inside, she could regain control over herself. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake the haunting memory of what she had witnessed.

Her fiancé had betrayed her, not just with anyone, but with her best friend—her bridesmaid. The situation couldn't have been worse if it had merely been a rumor. But she had seen it with her own eyes, the undeniable truth laid bare before her. No excuse could ever justify what they had done.

Worse than the regret was the crushing feeling of being a fool—betrayed by the person she trusted most. How long had she been a joke to them? The thought gnawed at her, making the pain even sharper.

Now Lydia understood why Joe had become so emotional—why he had been so erratic and preoccupied. It was not because of her; it was because he had someone else. His love for her had been nothing but a facade, driven by self-interest rather than genuine affection. Anger and sadness intertwined within her, leaving her feeling like a fool deceived by the illusion of love. She had genuinely believed that Joe would be a good life partner.

Lydia had known Joe since their high school days. They both managed to attend the same university, though they were in different faculties. With both far from home, they moved into dormitories. Lydia didn't have many close friends yet, so Joe was always the first person she turned to. As they approached their final year, Joe confessed his desire to take their relationship from friendship to something more. Lydia was thrilled and excited but also unsure, feeling that she might be too young for such a commitment. Joe, understanding her hesitation, didn't push for an immediate answer. Instead, they both took their time, trying to navigate their evolving feelings for each other.

Their relationship was not a secret; their families were well acquainted with each other. When Lydia graduated, their families suggested that they get engaged as a first step. At the time, Lydia had no objections and welcomed the idea, believing it was the natural progression of their relationship.

After that, Lydia enrolled in a short course and spent an additional year studying language. She had originally planned to pursue a master's degree, but when her mother fell ill, she returned to Thailand to care for her during her final days. Joe was always by her side, offering encouragement and support. Lydia interpreted his kindness as a sign of true love, and her heart accepted him completely. After her mother passed away peacefully, Lydia and Joe began planning their wedding.

Thinking back on it, Lydia laughed bitterly, mocking her own fate and naivety. She had trusted too easily, and that trust had come back to haunt her. But now, her eyes were open, and she saw the world—and the people in it—with a newfound clarity.

Joe never truly wanted her; she had overestimated his intentions. All the kindness and support he showed were merely part of his plan to use her for his own ends. He had other goals in mind, and she was just a pawn in his game.

The accumulated pressure and stress overwhelmed her, causing her to retch once more. But this time, nothing came out—only air from her empty stomach. She hadn't eaten anything since she had stormed out, too consumed by pain to even think about food.

As Lydia bent down, all she could see were her sneakers, soaked and caked with mud from the relentless rain. The nausea threatened to return, but she fought it off, her brow furrowing with a swirl of confused emotions. She tried to ground herself in the present moment, to focus on anything but the haunting image of those two naked bodies that replayed endlessly in her mind.

“Do you need help?” a deep voice called out through the darkness, cutting through the sound of the rain as the headlights of a car illuminated the drenched girl. The voice struck her ears, pulling her out of her spiraling thoughts.

Lydia looked up, squinting slightly against the glare of the headlights. A black pickup truck was parked nearby, and she blinked as a man got out and ran toward her. They were standing at an interprovincial bus stop, dimly lit by a few dull neon lights. The man was tall and slender, with broad shoulders—someone who seemed capable of handling anything that came his way. As he approached, Lydia, through a veil of tears, recognized something familiar in his face. It was so familiar that she instinctively lifted the back of her hand to wipe away her tears, desperate to see him clearly.

“Lydia?”

Not only did his face strike a chord of recognition, but his voice also resonated deeply within her. Lydia tilted her head, her brow furrowing in confusion. She was so disoriented that the man's name slipped her mind, leaving her to grapple with the unsettling familiarity of the moment.

“I'm Parker,” the young man said softly as he stepped closer, gently supporting her trembling body. “Do you remember me? I lived in the house next to yours.”

“ Parker…”

The name was deeply etched in Lydia's memory. She closed her eyes, and a vivid image from her childhood resurfaced—she saw herself as a small child, climbing over the low fence that separated her home from the neighboring house, which was surrounded by a sprawling farm.

The man moved closer, so near that Lydia could feel the height and the quiet, undeniable strength radiating from him. His presence was solid and reassuring, a stark contrast to the overwhelming fragility she felt inside.

“Yes,” the young man confirmed, shaking his wet hair out of his eyes. “What are you doing out here? Do you want me to take you home?”

Parker admitted he was surprised to see Lydia wandering along the road like this. He guessed she must live in Bangkok, right? Or did she come back to visit her grandparents?

“Home?” Lydia shook her head rapidly. She wasn’t ready to face her family just yet. How could she explain to her grandparents that Joe had cheated on her—and with her best friend, no less?

After fleeing from Joe's condo, Lydia’s mind was a whirlwind of confusion. She needed to escape and find some semblance of clarity. With a numb determination, she boarded a tour bus, heading towards her grandparents' farmhouse.

Seeing the turmoil in Lydia's expression, Parker was certain something was wrong. “How about coming to my farm?” he suggested. “Don’t stay out here alone; it’s dangerous.”

Lydia could only nod absentmindedly. The rain suddenly intensified, bending the trees around them. A clap of thunder made her shriek, and Parker quickly pulled her into his arms, trying to shield her from the storm.

“It’s okay.” Parker whispered soothingly as he carried her to the car. He opened the door, helped her into the seat, and gently closed the door behind her.

He hurried back to the driver's side, noting that Lydia was still sitting quietly. Leaning over, he helped fasten her seat belt. The soft clink of the buckle made her flinch slightly, and she could feel his warm breath near her face. As he leaned in, their faces were close, and Lydia found herself gazing at his sharp, dark features, framed by a faint beard. He caught her staring and smiled gently, trying to offer some comfort amidst the chaos.

“We haven’t seen each other in how many years?” Parker asked as he moved to the driver’s seat. He started the car and drove carefully, occasionally glancing at Lydia in the seat next to him.

He had known Lydia since she was just seven or eight years old. She was quite mischievous, often ducking under fences or climbing over low ones to visit his farm.

As a little boy, Parker was fondly remembered as a talkative and inquisitive child—so much so that his curiosity often drove others away. By the time he was eighteen, he had decided to study agriculture with the aim of revitalizing more than a hundred acres of land. It was a daunting task for a young man with no experience, so he chose to study close to home, allowing him to manage both his studies and the farm simultaneously.

Lydia's family lived on a small farm next to the his. He only saw the energetic girl during school holidays when her parents, who worked in Bangkok, would bring her to visit her grandparents.

When Lydia graduated from primary school and moved on to high school, Parker learned that her parents had separated. Lydia's father and mother had split up, and Lydia was left in the care of her grandparents.

Despite the upheaval, Lydia never acted out or sought attention. She lived a simple life, marked by routine and resilience. Her grandfather drove an old pickup truck to take her to school every day, though sometimes the car wouldn't start. On those days, Lydia would carry her school bag and run to catch a ride with him. She continued this routine until she graduated from high school and was accepted into a university in Bangkok, where she moved to continue her studies.

After that, they rarely saw each other. Over the years, they met only occasionally, and Parker learned about her life through his grandparents, who still visited regularly.

The car, battling the rain, finally arrived at Rai Rung Arun. As the engine turned off and the car came to a complete stop, Lydia stirred from her sleep. She blinked groggily and stared in amazement at the large house before her. It felt almost unfamiliar, as if it were entirely absent from her memory.

Parker noticed the young woman's astonished expression and couldn't help but smile to himself.

“This is my house. You haven’t been here for many years. The old house was demolished,” he said, leaning over to unbuckle his seatbelt. Lydia felt a strange flutter as their faces were so close. She watched as he got out of the car and walked around to open the door on her side. Her heart raced in a way it never had before.

In Lydia's memory, Rai Rung Arun was a farm that smelled strongly of cow dung. The farm was bustling with loud voices and the chatter of migrant workers. She remembered how she would often get scolded for sneaking under the fence to visit, as everyone was concerned for her safety. But back then, she was too young to think of anything other than having fun. To her, the farm workers were kind and always had smiles on their faces.

“Let’s come inside first,” Parker said, his tone reflecting a calm, controlled demeanor. “Standing out here in the rain will only make you sick

“I’m sorry,” Lydia said, shaking her head in confusion. “Here has changed so much.”

Parker raised an eyebrow. He was more accustomed to the lively, mischievous Lydia of his childhood, but he realized that the Lydia standing before him was now a woman.

She felt a pang of sadness as she thought about it. She had enjoyed being a girl, growing up and leaving behind the days of childhood mischief—days when Parker would let her playfully climb on his back and neck.

“Did something happen?” Parker’s voice was calm yet laced with concern.

“I...” Lydia hesitated, stunned. The incident was so recent and overwhelming that she hadn't had the chance to share it with anyone. It had all happened so quickly, leaving her struggling to catch her breath.

Seeing her distress, Parker decided to cut the conversation short. He didn't want to pressure her any further.

“You don’t have to answer anything right now,” Parker said gently. “Let’s just go into the house first. You’ll catch a fever if you stay out here wet like this.”

He took long, steady strides, guiding Lydia into the house with a relaxed yet firm support. She tried to walk as steadily as she could, but her limbs felt weak and uncooperative, as if all her strength had vanished. Suddenly, her body gave way, and she collapsed.

“Lydia!” he called out in panic, rushing to catch her before she hit the ground.

The housekeeper, seeing the boss had just returned, hurried out to greet him. Upon witnessing the scene, she gasped in shock but remained silent.

“Call Doctor Anan quickly,” Parker ordered.

“Yes, sir,” the housekeeper replied promptly.

That was the last thing Lydia knew before closing her eyes. She was enveloped in the calm surroundings, her ear pressed against Parker's chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. The steady pulse brought a sense of peace to her troubled mind.

She was exhausted, too tired to endure any longer, and simply wanted to rest after facing the storms of life all day.

Maybe, she thought, if she opened her eyes again, everything might just turn out to be a dream.