Chapter Eight

I met his gaze as he let go and pulled away from me. I immediately felt empty and cold, and I pushed that feeling away as he rolled off the condom and discard it in the adjacent bathroom.

My gaze followed him as he dressed, and he turned to face me. “I'll go downstairs and get you some clothes.”

“Thank you,” I said softly as he walked away.

I felt exposed now that there was space between us. I stood up. I stood up and reached for the robe at the back of the door. Ivan returned just as I was wrapping it around my stomach. I grabbed my clothes from him and dash into the bathroom to change.

As I was removing my stockings, my hands tremble. What did I do? Doing with the same person twice is a major rule violation. It's only for one night. It has to be that way or else those pesky little strings will appear. They will bind you to the other person and...

I took a long, deep breath. Realistically, I knew my chances of ever seeing Ivan again were slim. I can tell Sheila that I was uneasy with his solo shooting style, and she will not book me with him again. And if I happen to see him on the street, I can just pretend I don't know him.

“Brenda? Are you okay?”

“Yep. Two seconds.” I pulled a hairband from the pocket of my jeans and gathered my hair into a ponytail before I opened the door. “What should I do with the underwear?”

“Give it to me. I’ll see it gets back to the right place tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I gave it to him.

What do I do now? It’s not like I can just say, “Well, thanks for the fvck. Bye!”

I stood by the door awkwardly as he packed away his camera. “Well, bye,” I said lamely.

Ivan looked up. “Do you need me to call you a cab?”

“No, I will drive, Thanks though.” I smiled and turned away.

“Hang on.” He crossed the room and pulled me into him, pressing his lips against mine. “One for the road,” he whispered with a smile.

I blinked at him and turned away without another word. Somehow, I made it down the stairs without running or falling, and I didn't breathe again until I was in my car.

I turned the radio up to drown out the mass of thoughts in my head as I drove away from the cottage, but it didn't work.

All I could think of is the way my lips are still tingling after his last kiss.