Each day I wonder if true love ever existed never new would find one. This is my story it's their but be careful if you find it
View MoreMy panties aren’t wet.
They should be. While I’m sitting across the table from Mr. Franklin Banes, my ex-boss, my panties should be dripping. And they’re not.
There’s no sizzle. No boom-boom. No tingly spine or somersaulting stomach.
Well, this is fvcking disappointing, isn’t it? I’ve only crushed on the guy since he became my manager a year and a half ago. I’ve only wanted in his pants since he walked through the goddamn door. And now that we’re on a date, that crush has disappeared, right along with my attraction.
Lost: one libido. If found, please return to my lonely, attention-deprived nest.
I suppose I should be thankful that this is the end of the date—and that there is no attraction. Franklin doesn’t strike me as a no-strings kind of guy. That doesn’t wash with me. I hate strings. Strings make things sticky.
It’s kind of a shame though. I mean, he wouldn’t be a bad guy to have strings with. Sowhat if his messy, dark-blond hair and pair of blue eyes are more fitting of California than Seattle? He’s stable. Steady. On one course without any intention of veering off—unlike me.
I get the feeling that, if Franklin hit a crossroads in his life, he’d know exactly which turn to take. Me? I’d dance around like a motherfucking fairy and change my mind ten time
“So, I’ll call you?” Franklin says, moving some hair from my face
Damn. The ‘call you’ question. “Sure,” I reply, trying to sound perky. Is it bad that I’m trying to work out how quickly I can change my number? Oh, god. It’s so bad.
“Great.” He smiles and dips his face toward mine before I can turn away. His lips touch mine, soft and warm but…boring.
I grip his shirt and step into him. Waiting, hoping, for something… Something sizzly. Sparky. Va-va-voomy. When, after a minute of brushing lips, my body is as flat as it was ten minutes ago, I move away.
“Thanks for tonight. It was fun.” I smile and duck into my taxi before he can say another word. Oh, god.
What kind of person lusts after someone for a year and a half then suddenly doesn’t?
Me.
There’s no reason I should be surprised. I bolt at the first sign of anything stronger than one night. I guess my hormones finally got that memo.
I lean back into the seat and stare out the window. Yes, it’s for the best that my vagina forgot to clench and get all excited when he walked into the restaurant. After all, he was late. Who’s late to a date? That’s my job.
I’m totally trying to justify this bullshit turn of events.
I throw a couple of bills into the driver’s lap and get out of the car to his call of, “Thanks, darlin’!” I let myself into my apartment block and press the elevator button repeatedly. Stupid thing is so slow.
“Now, if you’re home, I know that date was bullshit, darling.”
I turn at the sound of the disappointed voice and grin at Banes. “You have no idea. It’s like doing while getting no pleasure at the end of it.”
“On the contrary, I think that’s exactly what happened.”
“What? No. I didn’t do with him.” I step into the elevator after him.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” He examines his reflection in the mirrored walls. I smack his arm.
I smack his arm. “Are you calling me a sl^t?”
“Never.” He flashes a smile at me. “What happened?”
I sigh as the doors open. “ Franklin wasn’t all that after all. He was late, he tried to order for me, and the pre-cab kiss was all…lackluster. It was like having my first kiss all over again.”
Sean smacks his lips together. “I think your problem is Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”
A low flutter erupts in my lower stomach at the mention of Mr. TDH. And don’t forget the Oh So Englishman. I clap my hand over my tummy to stop that stupid feeling.
“Yes. He’s my problem. The guy whose name I don’t know but fucked anyway. I forgot the part where he’s consuming my every thought.”
Sean shrugs and opens his apartment door. “Wine?”
Well, I’m not turning down that offer after Disaster Date. Sometimes, living opposite a gay guy with a wine collection bigger than my shoe collection is really good for the soul. Not so good for the liver, admittedly, but good for the soul.
I close his door behind me and kick off my shoes, dumping my purse unceremoniously on the floor next to the nude heels. Bane's sofa creaks as I fall back into the plush leather and swing my legs up.
My lips formed a wide grin. “Okay. I think my need for information is sated. For now.” “Good. And now I guess we have to get to my gritty stuff, right?” I nodded. “I fessed up. Now it’s your turn.” “Okay.” He grabbed his mug of tea and drunk half of it before setting it back on the table. He settled his arms around me again, linking his fingers on my back, and looked up. “Let’s see… When we were little, Mish and Aaron were constantly following our parents around. They wanted to know every last bit of the business. My dad tried for about a year to get me interested, but I just didn’t care. I didn’t have the right head for it. “Then we got older, and while they started internships and work experiences, I started sleeping with girls. Yeah. I was that knobhead.” He laughed. “I studied photography at A-level in college just to make up the number of courses I needed to take and fell in love with it. It was so calm and quiet compared to my rowdy, devil-may-c
He pulled on his pants and I grabbed some shorts and a T-shirt from my room. When I came back out, Ivan handed me a cup of coffee and grabbed his cup of tea. I smiled as we settled on the sofa, facing each other, my legs hooked over his. He tugged the coffee table closer so we could reach from this position. Then he wrapped his arms around me and linked his fingers behind my back.“Okay. Just…talk,” he said.“Um. Okay.” I settled my fingers against the top of his stomach. The lump in my throat was the only thing stopping bile coming up—I knew it. “Well, I went to my parents’ house yesterday. I needed to get out of the city to think. Of course, my batshit crazy nana was there, so I got more of an ass-kicking than I did thinking. But anyway, she made me realize that you have to face your fears if you’re ever going to get over them. So. Here I am. Fear-facing.”Ivan’s thumbs stroke my back gently, a
Tyler, sitting on the floor, his back against my door, throwing a tennis ball at the wall opposite him. One of his legs was bent up, the other stretched out. I watched him throw the ball, catching it one-handed every single time.I opened my mouth to talk to him, but he beat me to it.“I’ve been sitting here like a fucking idiot for about four hours. I have no idea why. At first, I thought you were in. Then I remembered you went out of town. Fuck knows where. No one will tell me where or why you went. So I sat down and started playing with this. Hit your neighbor’s door a few times. He invited me in, but I said I’d rather sit here. Got hungry and ordered pizza.” He knocked on the box next to him. “Sat here like a fucking teenage boy hung up on some girl he’s never gonna get.”My chest tightened when he looked at me. I’d never seen his eyes so empty, so dull.“That’s what I think. You know t
“I nearly lost my life!” I almost shouted. “How is that nothing? What if, next time, it’s worse? What if, next time, I do lose?”Nana’s face softened, but her eyes hardened. She leaned forward in her chair and pointed a wrinkly finger at me. “You listen to me, my girl, and you listen to me well. You’re not afraid of committing. You’re not afraid of hurting anyone. The thing you fear is weakness. It’s commendable, really, but also complete crap. The only person you’re hurting is yourself—and this boy. You’re stringing you both along because of your naivety. That’s what it is. What you are. Naïve. You think love pops up for every Tom, Dick, and Harry?”Her words stung.“It doesn’t. It isn’t something you can throw around. If you can sit there and tell me it wouldn’t kill you to walk away from him, then that’s exactly what you should do.&rdqu
“You look like you have a face slapped with a wet fish,” Nana said. “Have you been salmon fishing?”“It’s not salmon season, Nana,” I replied. “And I don’t fish.”“Not salmon season? It flamin’ well is! A bit cold for July though. Hey, Steve. Put the heat on. I’m turning into a snowman.”I raised an eyebrow at Mom. “July? Nana, it’s March.”“No, it’s July. I specifically remember arranging my next visit here for July.”“Mother,” Mom said softly. “You did. We talked about it yesterday. You said you’d come back in July.”Nana blinked at her. “Oh. Did we?”Mom noded. “Yes. You said you wanted to come up in salmon season because you wanted fresh salmon.”Nana tilted her head to the side. “Oh. Oh, all right. That would explain the temperature. Still, get t
“I don’t know his past and he doesn’t know mine.”“Because you’re refusing to talk about it. Yeah, we talk. Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t talk about this shit. I called him a hundred times with Dayton—he’s more like my brother than anything. I know how he feels about you, Brenda. He’s told me. And let me tell you if you’d asked me six months ago if I ever thought he’d be this serious about a woman, I would have laughed at you.” His lips twitch. “I did laugh when he told me. I thought he was kidding, but he isn’t.”“It’s not just a snap decision. I can’t clap my hands together and know. I’m not holding off to protect myself. I’m doing it to protect him.”“Ivan’s a big boy. He can protect himself. I’ve seen him do it several times.”I put my face in my hands then ran my finger
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