CH001: First Love

~LORETTE~

“Help me, please… my baby…” I choke out in my wrecked car, drenched in my blood, hoping somebody would hear me. But only cold silence greets me.

I have just been involved in an accident on my way home from my prenatal checkup.

One second, I was smiling like the most contented woman alive, one hand gently rubbing my belly while driving. Happily imagining how my little family will finally be complete.

The next second, a car lost control on the bend and crashed into mine with full force.

The vicious impact caused my car to flip over and over, tumbling along with the car that had just crashed into me.

When my car finally stopped, I was hanging upside down, trapped in the wreckage. My leg is badly mangled, pinned under twisted metal. Blood is pouring out fast, forming a pool beneath me.

“God… help me,” I rasp weakly again, my arms wrapped protectively over my stomach, as I try to yell for help. “Help my baby. Please…”

I can’t afford to lose this pregnancy. It will be my end.

“Just hold on a little longer, baby. Someone will come. We have to survive.”

But the darkness is too strong. My eyes feel so heavy, and my breathing slows down. I can feel myself slipping into unconsciousness.

“Sir! The crash scene is dangerous. You can’t go in!”

“Get out of my way! If anything happens to her, I’ll make you all pay!”

Familiar voices manage to pull me back to reality.

I struggle to keep my eyes half-open. Slowly, I turn my head toward the broken window.

And I see him.

A tall, broad-shouldered man rushing toward the accident scene in his usual sharp black suit that elevates his handsome look. My heart jumps.

Nate. My husband.

I’d sent an SOS message to my emergency contact earlier, before I lost my strength. I thought he would ignore my texts as usual, but he came…

“N-Nate…” I whisper, my voice barely audible. Hope, disbelief, and relief flood through me all at once.

He came. He actually came for me.

Tears roll down my cheeks as a small smile forms on my lips. I look down at my belly and whisper with joy.

“Baby, Daddy is here. He came to save us. We’re going to be alright.”

But when I look up again, my smile freezes. Nate is not walking toward my car.

He is heading straight to the car behind me.

What? Why? He must have gotten confused. That’s not my car!

“Nate!” I try to shout, but my voice is too weak.

Pain shoots through my body when I try to move. Still, I force myself.

“Look at me, Nate. I’m here!”

Then I see something that drains all the blood from my body.

Nate is carefully helping a woman out of the other car. He holds her gently, like she is something precious.

I recognize the woman immediately.

Ava. His first love.

No… this can’t be real. Maybe the impact from this accident has fucked with my brain so much, that I’m seeing impossible things.

But the physical and emotional pain is too real, enough to prove that I’m not imagining things.

Ava is really back. Since when?

I open my mouth but no sound comes out. I can only stare in shock, intensified by the sudden realization that fills me.

So this is why Nate has been coming home late, and sometimes, doesn’t even come home for several days. This is why he smells like another woman’s perfume. This is the reason…

Hot tears burn my eyes as the realization hits me hard, like something is thawing my heart out from the insides.

Nate and I have been married for five years. Five long, cold, and loveless years.

And throughout all those years, he’s never stopped loving Ava.

His family and friends never failed to remind me of that.

“After Ava left, Nate was never the same.” They’d say, never minding that I’m right there. “That was the darkest period of his life. No woman can ever replace her.”

I always stayed quiet, swallowing the pain, because I didn’t want to be seen as the jealous wife.

But it hurt so much. And I wanted to know who really was this woman that held a cold man like Nate in chokehold, this well.

One day I couldn’t take it anymore. I searched desperately until I found her photos hidden in his dashboard. The moment I saw her, I understood why he was obsessed.

She is nothing like me.

Her strawberry blonde hair is sleek and perfect, falling down her back in smooth waves. She is tall with long model legs and curves that make my stomach twist with envy.

Her style is flawless, elegant and confident. A complete opposite of my messy brown curls, petite frame, and baggy cardigans.

So I tried to become her.

I dyed my hair strawberry blonde, straightened it religiously, and copied her outfits down to the smallest detail. I hoped Nate would finally look at me with warmth.

Yet Nick’s cold eyes never warmed up.

That’s when I realized that the problem was never my appearance. It was me. Nate will never see me in that way, no matter how hard I try.

And so, I gave up after that and accepted my pathetic reality.

Then two months ago, I found out I was pregnant. For the first time in years, real hope bloomed inside me.

This baby isn’t just going to be my companion in this lonely world, but could bridge the gap between Nate and I.

Nate would finally see me. Even if Ava came back, he would choose us once he knew I carried his child.

This baby is my savior. I can’t lose her.

With all the strength left in me, I push my bleeding arm through the broken window and start banging hard.

“Nate! Nate, I’m here!” I scream hoarsely, tears streaming down my face. “Please! Help me! I’m here!”

I scream again and again. But Nate doesn’t even turn.

He is too busy holding Ava, who has her face buried in his chest like she is badly hurt, even though she looks almost fine.

“Don’t worry, Ava,” Nate says softly, his voice so gentle it breaks my heart. “I’ll take you to the hospital right now. You’ll be okay, my love.”

My love? He called her my love? He has never spoken to me like that…

“Nate!” I scream louder, my throat burning.

His assistant finally looks towards my car, a frown on his face. Then, he speaks to Nate.

“Sir, I think there’s another injured person in the other car. And I think… she looks like Mrs. Hawthorne…”

For a second, hope rises in my chest.

Yes! Look this way already!

But before Nate can turn, Ava cries out in pain. He immediately focuses back on her.

“I’m sorry, my love. Let’s go.” Then he turns to his assistant, “Ava is in serious pain. Let’s get her to the hospital immediately. Someone else will handle the other person.”

My heart shatters completely.

I watch helplessly as Nate carries Ava into his car. The doors close, and they drive away, leaving me bleeding alone in the wreckage.

That’s when I feel warm blood flowing down my thighs.

“No… no, no, no!” I cry, pressing my hands tightly on my stomach. “Please, not my baby. God, please!”

The pain in my body and the pain in my heart become too much.

Darkness takes over me completely, and as I drift into it, I am convinced that this is my end.

Only that the next moment, when I open my eyes again, I find myself lying in a pristine white hospital room.

A heart monitor beeps steadily beside me, and doctors surround my bed.

“My baby,” I choke out immediately, my heart hammering. “How is my baby?”

One doctor looks at me with pity in his eyes. I recall his face as the doctor handling my prenatal checkups.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am. You were brought in too late. We couldn’t save the baby.”