What if i die? (English)

"Would you shut the hell up?! You don't have any idea that you ruined everything, right? You ruined my life, Ciara Hilvano. You ruined everything! And now you're hoping that I'll forgive you?! Hell no! I will make you suffer for everything that you did. As long as you live under my roof and you're in my hands, you will suffer. Did you understand that?! I will make you feel how to have a damn hellish life, just like how you made me feel since you came into my life!" He exclaimed from the top of his lungs.

I couldn't help but drop the tears that were forming in my eyes when he hung those lines, unable to believe that he was blaming me for something that I didn't do.

It's not my fault to give my love for you, Tyron.

"Just... please, let me go. You're hurting me.." While tears streamed down my cheeks, I forced myself to escape again from his grip on my arm. But he didn't pay attention to me; instead, he pushed me and walked from behind me, as he slightly stooped, making his breath brush against my cheek.

"I will make sure that you will regret everything. I will turn your life into hell as long as I see you breathing." I couldn't look at him but I knew his eyes were glaring at me. His breathing was so heavy and cold that it made me stop breathing for a moment. After he hit that line, he pushed me away violently causing me to fall from the floor. I could not help but shut my eyes as I covered my mouth and cried silently.

"Get up." He commanded but I didn't move. My knees were already trembling, I couldn't even feel my body anymore because of the pain, I could barely see anything and my vision was starting to get dim. How could I even get up in my situation right now?

"I said, get up!" he exclaimed. I had no choice but to try what he wanted, but I just ended up lying on the floor again. It hurts. It hurts so much that I could just lie down here all my life and never get up anymore.

I just wanted to lie with my body getting cold and lifeless on the floor. That could be better than this, I guess. I wouldn't feel any pain if I'd let my body surrender already.

Trembling, shaking, and weakening. What else should I feel? Is this really what I deserved? I can't do it anymore, can I just give up? There's no sense of living anymore, tho.

"I can't take it anymore." I muffled myself, letting my tears fall even though I can't even feel them escaping from my eyes. I'm too tired to feel anything.

I just felt his heavy footsteps coming toward me and sitting in front of me.

"Why does it have to be you?" When I heard him utter those words, I looked up at him and hoped I hadn't done it. I just hope I didn't look into him just to see his dark aura. I could feel his rage and saw the coldness in his eyes. My heart was shattering, I couldn't look at his eyes, that's why I immediately lowered my head and averted my gaze on him.

"Why do you have to be alive?" My lips loosened up as I sensed the bitterness in his voice. It is as if he hates my existence so much that he has to do something for me to be gone already.

"Why do you even need to have existed in this fucking world if you're just going to ruin my life!" Suddenly, I was taken aback. My mouth started to shake as my eyes expanded, when I felt a cold thing pointed at my forehead, my entire system seemed to tremble when I realized what he was holding and pointing at me.

A.. Gun?

"N-no... Tyron, no. Please, don't do this.." I felt like my body turned into rock, I couldn't move, my breathing started to get heavier, my chest was moving up and down because of nervousness. My heart was breaking, again and again, I can't recognize him anymore. I can only see the rage, pain, and hatred from him, and the pity I used to see in his eyes has vanished, leaving me fearful and anxious.

"Do you know what will happen to you once I shoot this damn gun to your head, huh?" He scoffed at me, while his eyes were full of anger.

"I-im sorry, please forgive me for whatever I've done. J-just, please.. put it down, Ty. It's not funny, you're scaring me, stop doing this to me, I'm begging you. . please!" The uncontrollable tears that were shredding down on my face didn't stop anymore, I couldn't breathe properly, my eyes were getting blurry again. It's aching and breaking me, seeing the man I love was not scared anymore to hurt me.

But it seems like his heart has turned into stone already, he can't even listen to me.

"Shut up, I'm tired of your bullshit. So, shut up! Once I pulled this fucking trigger on you, you'll probably be dead. But because I love how you begged for your life," he put down the gun, and a sarcastic smirk plastered on his lips.

"I'll let you live," he added, ''that makes me break down.

"You still have a chance to say goodbye to your loved ones who don't even care about you. Go for it. I won't stop you, anyway. At least, bid goodbye to them before you leave this world, right? Isn't it respectful to leave them without saying goodbye?" He chuckled, I was momentarily taken aback when he stated that, my foggy vision fixed on him as he pointed out my parents hated me. I smiled bitterly, what's not to believe about that, it's the truth anyway.

He hated me, my parents hated me. I hate myself, everyone hates me. What else could I expect? No one ever wants to accept me in their lives. It's my destiny to be hated by everyone, that's not new to me. It's always like this, same old shit.

"It's true, isn't it? That is why they force me to marry you, it is all because you're such a burden to them! Unluckily, I didn't know that, that's why I'm here. Suffering because of you." His sharp eyes darted toward me. I couldn't help but lean my head down and take a deep breath. I didn't have any more tears to shred and my eyes and body were already exhausted. It'll just be nonsense if I don't stop sobbing.

"Worthless!" Just as he pushed me inside the dark, cramped room, was the loss of my consciousness as my head accidentally hit the wall.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I'm not worth having for.