4. You Lost Me Today

Serena’s Point of View

I shouldn’t have agreed.

That was the first thought that came to my mind as I walked to the café where I was supposed to meet Rowen.

Last night, I went back to that place I once called home, only to grab some of my clothes and belongings. I didn’t stay there, even when Rowen begged me to.

Instead, I rented a motel room. Small. A bit cold. Still… it felt much better than sleeping under the same roof as him.

I arrived at the café at 1:55, five minutes earlier than our agreed time, and ordered chamomile tea, because the doctor had said no caffeine.

My hand rested on my stomach subconsciously.

I had no idea how many times I had done that since yesterday.

I’m doing this for you.

I want you to have everything I never had.

Let’s see what he has to say.

It was 2:10.

Rowen was still not here.

Before, I would have patiently waited, telling myself it was traffic… or work… or something important.

But that version of me no longer existed.

I’m here already. Where are you?

I sent him a message.

The ticks remained gray. Even at 2:30.

My tea had gone cold.

I called him. No answer.

I ordered a muffin. It felt awkward sitting in a busy café with just tea.

At 2:45, I called again.

Still nothing.

By then, I already knew. I shouldn’t have even considered giving him this chance.

I remembered the way he said he would keep his promise with his life.

I scoffed inwardly.

With his life…

At 3:00, I called one last time. This is the last chance, I told myself.

The phone rang.

Then, 

Someone answered.

But it wasn’t Rowen.

“Oh!” Michela’s voice came, lazy as always. “It’s you.”

My fingers tightened around the phone.

“Where is Rowen?”

“Did you wait too long?” she asked, almost sympathetically.

So she knew.

“He’s in the shower,” she added. “You know how he is. He always wants to wash ‘me’ off before coming to you.”

I took a slow breath.

“He’s very meticulous when it comes to these things. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to find out…” she laughed softly.

“How long is ‘so long’?” I asked.

Not that it mattered if it was one day or one year. 

Still…

“Mmm… let me think… I’d say more than two years.”

“Two years.”

The words slipped out before I could process them. Maybe it mattered a little. 

“Yes. It started in his third week at the company. “

In his third week at the company, he was so excited about his work, and I was so excited for him. I had cooked his favourite dishes every evening, to celebrate his happiness. 

“We worked tirelessly for several days, and we had grown pretty close. One night it was so late, and it was just the two of us…”

She paused.

“You know how those things happen, don’t you, Serena?”

“How would I know?” I replied calmly. “Do you think every woman goes around sleeping with her colleagues?”

All those two years… Waiting. Trusting and crying alone.

And still… Even to my surprise, I didn’t break in front of her. 

“I didn’t go around sleeping with colleagues,” she said, slightly annoyed. “I slept with a man who needed me as much as I needed him.”

“But that man had a wife at home.”

“Well… that made it more interesting.”

She laughed.

“Every time he talked about you… it made me feel so good…”

My stomach twisted.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “You won’t get to feel that way anymore.”

“Because from today, there will be nothing left of me for him to talk about.”

A pause.

“Really?” she said, amused. “What about your baby?”

“My baby is better off without a father like him.”

And I meant every word.

“As if you can even support yourself,” Michela scoffed.

“Sometimes I feel sorry for you, Serena. You're even pregnant, and he's still here. What does that tell you?”

“And that car you bought him, spending all your savings?” she added, laughing softly. “Do you know how many times we did it there?”

“Goodbye, Michela.”

I ended the call.

I didn’t need to hear more. I didn’t need to prove anything. 

But one day…

I would show her.

How strong a woman could be after betrayal. How strong a single mother could become.

I paid my bill and walked out.

It wasn’t the first time I had waited for him and left alone.

But this time, I wasn’t crying. My mind was strangely clear.

I walked to a nearby park and sat down for a while.

I needed time.

Because the message I was about to send,  I wanted Rowen to read it. Not Michela.

After a few minutes, I finally typed:

I want a divorce.

Four simple words. Ending seven years of my life.

My hand rested on my stomach again.

Do you think I’m being unfair?

But your father has made his choice.

And now…

I have made mine.

But I promise… I will give you all my love.

I will work so hard to give you everything you need.

One day, you will understand we truly didn’t need a man like that. 

“We’ll start over. Just the two of us.”

A quiet breath left me.

“But first…”

I looked ahead.

“I need a job and a place to live…”