Sunday came and I am still feeling his hand touching my right boob.
Nasa loob lamang ako ng kuwarto, constructing sentences appropriate for completing my narrative report. Kahit nagsusulat ako, hindi ko pa rin maalis yung pakiramdam ng kamay ng lalaking iyon sa dibdib ko; kung paano niya ito marahang pinipisil, habang seryosong nakatingin sa notebook niya.
Really, how important was his notebook for him to not notice what he was doing?
He's really got the balls and fuck those!
I got humiliated in front of the crowd. Hindi ko alam kung nahihiya lang ba ako n'on o nagagalit at hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang isipin iyon!
And I really want to abandon this feeling!
"If someone's trying to sexually humiliate or harass you, then better check that person's background. You might not know, that person is a sensual maniac in the past."
Dad has a point. I should check his background, but I thought of something.
Maybe he didn't mean to do it, because he was just asking for a spare pen. And an asshole from behind pushed me, making his hands fucking land on my right potato.
That's right. I shouldn't blame him—but what if that incident was premeditated? Paano kung planado ang lahat ng 'yon? I remembered Ashton talking to me first. Maybe they knew me all this time, and was pretending they didn't.
If that was the case, then they got me!
Ngunit kung iisipin ko naman ulit yung mukha ng putang-inang lalaking 'yon, halata namang gulat na gulat siya't hindi halos makagalaw sa nagawa. Narinig ko pa yung tanong ni Ashton sa kaniya bago ako tuluyang makaalis sa eksena, na lalong nagkumbinsi sa aking hindi niya 'yon sinasadya.
Nalilito na ako!
Kung ipagpapatuloy ko 'to, baka mabaliw na ako.
Palalagpasin ko na lang ba 'to? Kung ganoon ngang may binabalak sila sa akin, maybe they'd do it again on me.
That's right. I should observe first before going straight to the rightful actions I should do. Dad's not here for a week, and now that I need his advice, he's not here.
I always ignore him, right. But it's because he's saying too much things—and it's fucking irritating.
Umagang-umaga hindi ako makapag-isip nang maayos. Paburak ko na lang na binagsak ang pen ko sa study table. I was so pissed off that I couldn't concentrate.
I went to my closet to get a leather jacket. Nagbihis na rin ako ng skinny jeans at isang v-neck na t-shirt. Lumabas ako ng bahay para makapag-isip-isip nang maayos.
I went to our school. Bukas naman ito kahit weekends, kaya dito ko naisipang pumunta.
Walang masyadong tao nang makarating ako rito. Students who are studious usually bring themselves here in school. Marami silang may dalang libro at laptops.
And guess what, I'm not one of them.
Napabuntonghininga ako. I just need to refresh my mind and get back to the house as soon as I will feel okay.
I don't usually go to the library but I felt like going there. Ang laki ng possibility na nandoon siya sa library kaya naisip kong pumunta rito.
At nandito nga siya, doing her stuff again.
"What are you doing, Aurora?" I asked.
"Nagsusulat, hindi ba obvious?" She didn't look at me, and didn't even bother stopping her stuff.
"I just wanted to open up the conversation," sambit ko't umupo sa tabi niya. "I've got no one to tell what I'm feeling right now. Dalawa lang naman kayong dad ang nakaaalam sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko."
Finally, she put her pen down on the table. "May nangyari ba?"
"Keep quiet!" rinig naming sigaw ng librarian.
I lowered the volume of my voice. "Something really weird happened yesterday. Someone softly squeezed my right boob... unconsciously."
"What?!" mahina niyang daing ngunit may diin. "Paanong naging unconscious 'yon?"
"It was at the event I attended. I was facing his back. In the middle of the event, he asked his friend for a spare pen. I was pushed from behind and his hand landed on my right boob. He even said it's not time to joke around mentioning his friend's name and what happened is fucking my head off!"
"Hindi ba gusto mo 'yon, besh?" natatawa niyang tanong.
"Really, Aurora? You really thought it was funny?" I twitched my eyebrows upward.
She gulped. "I'm sorry."
"Come on, Aurora! Nasa gitna kami ng maraming tao, and because of that push—I was sure we gathered a lot of attention from the crowd. Putang-inang public humiliation 'yon!"
"I said, keep quiet!" ulit ng librarian.
Sarap namang ihampas ang ulo ng librarian na 'to sa pader. Daig pa niya yung pandinig ng mga paniki.
Tanggalin ko na kaya eardrums niya?
"Ano na gagawin mo ngayon?" tanong niya sa akin, habang nakatukod ang kanang siko sa mesa. Tumingin siya pagkatapos sa direksyon ko.
I leaned my eyes on hers. "That's why I'm sharing that experience to you, because I want somebody to help me to think about this one out."
"Unang beses mo pa lang ba na-encounter ang lalaking iyon?" she asked. "If so, puwede ngang hindi niya nga 'yon sinasadya."
"But he didn't fucking remove his hand from my right potato voluntarily and quickly, although he stopped moving his hand!"
"You two! Get out!" Napapihit kami sa librarian. "If you want to talk that loud, go somewhere else."
Kung makasita akala mo hindi rin siya nag-iingay. Mas nakadidisturbo pa siya sa kaniyang ginagawa kaysa sa amin, e... pero sige kami na lang mag-a-adjust.
Mahirap makipagtalo sa mga matatandang malalaki yung mga mata. Parang paniki, e, nocturnal. Just one big stare from her, aakalain mong nasa gitna ka na ng madilim na gubat.
"Tara na, Aurora."
Tumayo naman siya't sinamahan akong lumabas. I even heard the librarian murmuring something before we finally went out.
Sinilip namin ang music room at nakita naming walang katao-tao rito. Pumasok kami't napaupo sa upuan sa may gilid ng room.
"Okay, you said he didn't remove his hand yet from your—whatever you call it, right?" she asked, continuing our conversation.
I nodded as a response.
"So that might also mean he's liking it!"
"Stop your nonsensical theories, Aurora," I said, crossing my arms.
"Puwede naman 'yon at nagpanggap lang siyang gulat!" Umalingawngaw yung boses niya sa buong room.
"Hinaan mo nga boses mo," sita ko.
"Ano na ba gagawin mo ngayon? Your dad always reminded you about these things. Hindi mo puwedeng balewalain ito."
"Puwede kong palalagpasin muna. If he won't do it again, I'd say he's entirely innocent of the incident," sambit ko. "I need to tone down my temper."
"Puwede rin," sang-ayon niya.
"Hey girls, what are you doing inside the music room?" tanong ng isang lalaki sa amin at lumapit.
Napalingon ako kay Aurora.
Yes, same reaction, girl.
"I'm Kendric," pakilala pa nito. "And you both are?"
"I'm... I'm Aurora—"
"She's Aurora, my best friend and I'm Tahiti."
He looked straight right into my eyes. Those dark eyes of his is so pleasurably captivating and I can't help it but adore his whole face. Ang mukha niya ay parang isang napakagandang portrait painting.
"Oh, I see," he said, standing straight.
He then slowly started to unbutton the two buttons of his blue polo shirt, revealing a slight part of his chest and his delectable collar bone.
"Didn't you turn on the air conditioner? It's getting hot inside." Tumingala siya sa kanan at lumapit sa air conditioner. He turned it on.
He turned us on like hell, too.
Napalunok na lamang ako ng laway nang lumapit siyang muli sa amin. "I'm from the college of law. Where are 'ya from?"
"We're both senior high students," sambit ko, pilit na pinipigilan ang sariling akitin siya.
"Strand?" he asked, walking away from us and grabbed the bottled water above the piano.
"HUMSS," Aurora quickly replied.
Impit siyang ngumiti. "Oh, okay."
Uminom siya pagkatapos ng tubig, and holy guacamole. His Adam's apple was fucking going up and down, with his sweat swimming down his neck; and that jawline was fucking perfect.
He's like those fictional guys I've read from erotic novels, having big pets. Napatingin ako sa ibabang parte ng katawan niya.
Napalunok ulit ako ng laway.
"Iwan ko muna kayo rito, ha? We have to prepare for the party this Tuesday," he said, in the most polite way I've ever heard in my entire life.
His voice was just so pleasing to the ears.
"What party?" tanong ni Aurora.
"Fright Night, aren't you aware? The LVU admins posted it on our website. Check it out. It's November, and the student council proposed that we should have a Halloween type of party like the Fright Night." He looked at his gold watch. "Gotta go!"
My jaw literally dropped when he went out. Napapihit ako kay Aurora. "You know what I'm thinking, right?"
"Of course, how wouldn't I? You even looked at his thing," natatawa niyang sambit.
"Kung makapagsabi 'to sa akin, akala mo naman hindi nakanganga n'ong makita yung lalaking 'yon," I said.
"Oo na, binibiro lang po kita. Law students are inarguably and gorgeously hot... especially him."
"Sino? Ikaw, ha, may hindi ka na sinasabi sa akin!" I poked her on the side of her waist. Kumiliti naman siya. Pasimple lang 'tong writer na 'to, pero marunong na rin palang magkagusto.
"It's Stryke Ferrero De Leon. Ang guwapo niya, besh!" Inalog-alog niya ako sa balikat at nang tumigil siya ay napahawak na lamang ako rito.
"Anyway, may Fright Night party palang magaganap? Ano kaya susuotin ko? Hindi naman siguro necessary mag-cosplay ng villains ng horror movies, 'di ba?"
"Hindi naman importante, basta yung concept ng Fright Night, hindi mawawala."
"Oh, okay," I said, jouncing my head and turned to her gaze. "Saka na natin pag-usapan yung tungkol kahapon. I'm so stressed. Uuwi na lang muna ako ng bahay para tapusin yung narrative report."
--
Maaga kaming pumuntang salon ni Aurora sa hapon. Pinaayos namin ang aming mga buhok. Hers, she decided to wear an attire of a scary clown with a red short curly wig. And me, I decided to wear a black casual dress—just an inch above my knees—and painted with visible bones. It's cool to look like a skeleton.
"Gusto kong nakalugay lang yung buhok ko, tapos pakulutin n'yo. Gusto ko ring pangitin n'yo ako sa make-up. Just make me look scary," utos ko sa mga umaasikaso sa akin.
We're now inside a VIP room in the most famous salon in our place—famous because of the service they offer to their customers. It's good that we reserved a spot right earlier.
Their VIP rooms serve the most excellent service. Kaya hindi na rin ako nagtataka na maraming gustong mag-avail sa kanila.
"Aurora, what time will the party start?"
"Wait, let me check the website," sambit niya't kinalkal ang sariling phone. "Seven o'clock in the evening."
"Alangan naman kung morning tapos ganito susuotin natin."
"Nagtanong ka pa kung ganiyan lang din naman isasagot mo."
"Okay, sorry. Just stop stating the obvious."
"Akala mo naman kung sinong magaling," she said and pursed her lips, trying to hype up my anger.
Hindi na lamang ako nagsalita. Tiningnan ko na lamang ang sarili ko sa salamin. "Do you have a temporary hair dye?"
"Mayroon po, ma'am. What color would you want me to put on your hair?" tanong sa akin ng umaasikaso ngayon ng buhok ko.
"I want the lime green color."
Nang matapos na kami sa lahat-lahat ng kailangan naming ihanda ay diretso na kaming pumunta ng school hall. That's also when the hands of the clock fell to seven o'clock.
"Tara na, Aurora."
Hanggang ngayon, simula n'ong lumabas siya sa dressing room ng salon, natatawa pa rin ako. She actually looked like a guy clown and not a girl. Bukod sa hindi siya biniyayaan ng malalaking dibdib, wala rin siyang puwet na maipagmamalaki. Kawawa naman 'tong best friend ko.
Her shoes were also clownish, and mine looked like black doll shoes.
Napatingin naman siya sa mukha ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit tawang-tawa siya rito. "Bakit?"
"Ewan ko ba, besh, pero ang galing ng pagkaka-make up sa'yo at pumangit ka talaga. Nakatatakot yung mga mata mong parang nakaiiyak tingnan. Pati yung labi mong ang putla tingnan."
"Yeah, right. This is what I want anyway. At least, may boobs."
"May boobs nga, pero—"
"Pero hindi na virgin yung sa kanan, tang-ina."
BINATI KAMI ng ilang college students sa loob, pagkatapos kaming bigyan ni Aurora ng flashlights. Some of these college students were good-looking, kahit na natatabunan yung natural skin nila sa make-up.
And gosh, nagkakalat ang boys masyado. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung sino ang una kong pagmasdan nang maigi.
Pumunta akong malapit sa mga may pagkaing nakahain.
"May I have a glass of water?" I asked a girl, wearing her attire as a caterer.
In a minute, she handed me one. "Thanks!"
"Miss, can I have one of these brownies?" asked a guy whose voice is very familiar.
Napalingon ako sa kaniya, maging siya rin ay napapihit sa akin.
"Kendric, right?" pasiuna ko.
"Yes, and you are..." Tinuro niya ako't inalala ang pangalan ko. "Tahiti?"
"Yes, that's me in the music room," I replied.
"Kumusta na?" he asked, with voice so hoarse and it's literally killing me.
"I'm more than fine. Ikaw ba?"
"Same," he answered shortly. "Ang ganda ng suot mo ngayon, ha?"
"Oh, thanks! Yung sa'yo, rin!" sabi ko't ngumiti siya't napalingon sa caterer.
"Thank you for the brownies, miss," he said.
Ngayon ko lang din napansin yung paraan ng pananamit niya. He was like from an anime character Tokyo Ghoul. He changed his hairstyle and hair color. He got his hair dyed with white, as his bangs are covering his whole forehead—I could even barely see his eyebrows.
Ken Kaneki.
"Are you cosplaying Ken Kaneki?"
He laughed and looked at the stage while eating his brownies. "Yes, you noticed. And by the way, I'm not wearing a mask. This is only face paint."
"Pansin ko nga rin," sambit ko na ikinangiti niya.
His teeth were fucking complete. Napakapantay pa.
Bwisit, paano ginawa ng parents niya ang kaniyang mukha?
"You're hella gorgeous now," I whispered, and bit my lower lip.
He tapped his gaze at me. "Yes? Did you say something?"
"Wala naman, bakit?" palusot ko't ininom na lahat ng tubig sa baso.
"Una na 'ko, I'm gonna ask my friends about something," paalam niya.
He left and again, I was in awe.
Napatingin na lamang ako sa isang babaeng nakaupo sa isang table, dahil nakaaagaw talaga siya ng pansin. She was wearing fit leggings and a crop top, showing her midriff. Those fit leggings she's wearing showed the outline of her underwear. It even literally showed that evident slice between her legs.
Wasak na wasak na pala 'tong si ate girl.
And for that guy who devirginized my right boob, I don't see him anywhere.
"Okay, guys! The Fright Night Game, will now commence! So here are the rules. Your flashlight has a point of 1. The total number of flashlights you have acquired from any student here, at the end of the game, will be your total score. This first hall, the second hall and other ten classrooms of the building next to this are the venues of the game. In 10 minutes from now, find your hiding place. And now for the twist..."
Everyone went quite. Ako rin ay natahimik at nakikinig lamang sa estudyanteng nagsasalita.
"Find a partner before the game starts. Your accumulated number of flashlights will be your final score at the end of the game. Ten minutes is on countdown! Find your partner now!"
The lights turned off all of a sudden.
Bigla namang may humila sa mga kamay ko. From how tight this person's holding my hand, I'm guessing this is Aurora.
"Wait!" I exclaimed.
Lumapit siya sa akin, at nagulat ako sa mukha niya nang bigla niyang i-turn ang kaniyang flashlight. Talaga ngang nakatatakot yung clown tingnan.
"Bakit, besh?" tanong niya sa akin.
"Wala, gusto ko lang masigurado kung ikaw nga ba yung humila sa akin," sambit ko. "Where are we going to hide now, anyway—"
Someone fucking squeezed my butt! Noong isang araw yung dibdib, ngayon naman yung puwet ko?!
Napatingin ako sa kanang banda. Nakita ko sino yung lalaking pumisil ng puwet ko. Kaagad ko siyang sinundan, samantalang nakabuntot naman sa akin si Aurora. Nakatuon lamang ang flashlight ko sa kaniya, para hindi ko siya mawala sa tingin ko.
"Hey!" tawag ko sa kaniya, habang patuloy namang naghihiyawan yung ibang estudyante kahit hindi pa naman talaga nagsisimula ang laro. Dumagdag pa yung pag-o-overacting nila sa pagsisikip ng pasensya ko.
Nakita kong huminto yung lalaki. He faced me with his mask on. Sobrang gulat ko nang makita ko iyon. It was like the mask from the movie titled Saw which I've watched when I was a kid.
Nilingon ko siya. Tinanggal niya ang kaniyang mask nang kusa, and he uttered those words as though he was innocent.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"Ikaw?!"
"You want me?"
"Hindi! Ikaw yung lalaking pinipisil-pisil yung dibdib ko! You jerk!" Nilapitan ko siya't sinampal. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili, at sa sampal kong iyon hindi naman siya makagalaw. "Hindi pa ba sapat 'yong pagpipisil mo sa dibdib ko?!"
Nakasisigurado na akong may balak talaga ang lalaking 'to, dahil pangalawang beses na niya itong ginawa.
Just like what I did at school when I was reading an erotic novel. Kapag gusto mo kahit bawal, ginagawa mo.
"Why did you squeeze my butt this time?!"
"Whatever you think I am, I'm fine with that. I don't care at all." His face became so stern, and I want to slap it more.
"At may lakas ng loob ka pa talagang magsabi ng ganiyan, ha?! Ikaw pa yung pumisil ng puwet ko, ikaw pa—"
"Provide me with evidences first, and please stop mentioning those sexual terms to me. Also, I apologize for what I did before. It was an accident. I didn't mean—"
"Dini-deny mo pang ikaw yung pumisil ng puwet ko at accidental lang yung isa! You fucking asshole!"
I clenched my fists as tight as I could. Gusto ko siyang suntukin. I want to torture him.
"Again, whatever you think I am, ayos lang sa akin at wala akong pakialam doon."
I screamed.
Napayaka ako sa sahig at ang lalaking 'yon nama'y umalis na parang wala lang 'to sa kaniya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko! Why is he fucking denying what he did?!
Gustong-gusto ko nang umiyak. Gusto kong punitin yung damit niya at siya naman yung mapahiya at mabastos. Nakakabwisit.
"Besh..." tawag sa akin ni Aurora.
Pakiwari ko'y nakita at narinig ang pag-uusap naming dalawa.
"Nakita mo ba ginawa ng lalaking 'yon?! Bukod sa literal na bastos siya, his attitude is pissing me off! He's getting into my nerves!"
"Ano na gagawin mo ngayon?" mahinahong tanong sa akin ni Aurora habang tinutulungan niya akong kumalma.
"Nakaiinis lang dahil wala akong magawa!"
Nakaisip ako ng paraan pagkatapos ng ilang minutong pagkatulala, at nakapagdesisyon na rin ako. Buo na ang desisyon kahit mahihirapan ako rito.
I just want to avenge myself. Hindi ko hahayaang maging ganoon na lang kadali ang lahat.
I will follow him.
I will follow my dad's advice.
What he did is something I can't afford to forget and forgive. Nasasaktan yung pride ko bilang babae, nang dahil doon.I was humiliated publicly and sexually harassed. That bastard really consumed my patience and understanding skills!While I was walking straight in the hallway to the Accountancy Department, a random guy who was reading a book with an accountancy badge attached to his uniform stole my attention. Lumapit ako sa kaniya pagkatapos."Nandito ba si Ashton?" I asked him.I don't have any class for this period, so I should utilize this time to gather some information about that jerk."Bakit mo siya hinahanap? Girlfriend ka ba niya?"
Hinintay ko ang message ni Ashton ng higit isang oras na. Nakakain na lang ako ng hapunan. Nakapaghilamos na rin ng mukha't nakapagbihis, pero hindi pa rin siya nag-me-message.Saan na ba ang sinasabi ng mokong na 'yon?Boredom hit my nerves, so I thought of watching hentai again. Kaagad napunta ang kamay ko sa browser, and I went incognito mode. Yung isang kaklase kong lalaki ang nagturo sa akin noong isang araw lang at ngayon ko lang naalala. Kung manonood ako ng mga ganito, kailangang naka-incognito para walang makikita sa browser's history ko. Tinuro niya lang nang kusa, kahit hindi naman ako nagpapaturo, pero ayos lang din kasi may nalaman akong ganito.Mahirap na rin kung may makakakita. Isang malaking putang-ina kung mangyayari man 'yon. Plus, there's a tendency that my phone wo
I wasn't able to pass the narrative report the other day, because I was too busy trying to figure things out about that guy—Asriel."Bakit mo lang ngayon 'to napasa?"Nandito na naman ako sa eksenang ito, habang nasa loob ng teacher's office. Paulit-ulit na lang bang ako yung nasisita? I know what I'm doing. Isang salita lang, sapat na sa akin 'yon para hindi ko gagawin ulit ang ginawang pagkakamali."Kaysa naman 'di pinasa," sambit ko't inirapan ko si Ma'am Garcia."Ms. De Castro!" sigaw niya.I smirked. "Bakit ma'am? May problema?""I asked you already. Don't make me repeat it." Kitang-kita ko ang unti-unting pag-iiba ng kan
"Kumusta ka naman?" dad asked, holding his luggage after I went downstairs to see him. "Wala ka namang ginawang kalokohan, 'di ba?""Ako? Gagawa ng kalokohan?"
"His name's Khel," tipid kong giit. "From the Engineering Department of LVU."Aurora looked at me like she was telling me this guy had a commendable look. Her eyes had always been like this, sparkling, every time she looks at me like that."Hindi pa ba kayo kumakain?" tanong ni Khel sa aming tatlo. "Treat ko na kayo.""Parang gusto kong kumain sa Jollibee ngayon," parinig ko pa. "Sige, kumain na tayo. May nag-offer na, o."Lalo pa siyang lumapit sa akin habang nakangisi. "Parang kanina lang ayaw mong kumain. Nagpapakipot ka lang pala," bulong pa niya."Of course, I wouldn't eat with a stranger I just met this day without company. Mag-isip ka nga. Uso ang mga ganiyan ngayon. Hinuhumaling yung mga babae sa mga gusto nila para map
Ashton messaged me thru Facebook. Hindi ko alam kung ano na naman 'tong plano niya. Bigla ba namang nag-text ng kababalaghan yung kaibigan niyang iyon.Ashton:Punta ka sa condo unit ko ngayon. May sasabihin lang ako sa'yo. HAHAHAHAHA!
Bwisit, bakit gumwapo siya bigla sa paningin ko? He was wearing white pajamas, and a loose white shirt—barefooted.I then saw how his brows twitched."Bakit?" sabi ko na parang nadulas yung dila ko."You didn't answer my quest
"Bakit ko pa kailangang i-elaborate kung alam mo naman na ang ibig sabihin n'on?!""So alam mo nga..." He slowly moved his eyes back to his food. "Siguro, nanonood ka ng porn—""Hindi, a! Sira ka na ba?" singhal ko sa kaniya.