CHAPTER 5

TAHIMIK na pinanonood ni Libby mula sa kanyang kinatatayuan sina Jacob at Leo na naglalaro ng bola sa damuhan. Halos magi isang oras na nang magsalubong sila sa reception ni Lyka at sabihin nitong nasa labas sina Jacob at Leo. Pinigilan niya ang sariling lumabas agad, thinking she owed it to him na bigyan ito ng privacy kasama ang bata since Lyka convinced her Leo was in good hands.

“Sorry ha, hindi ko kasi alam ang sasabihin ko nung kausapin ako na iwanan sila.” ani Lyka. Meaning nahuhulaan na rin nito na si Jacob ang ama ng bata kaya’t hindi alam kung paano ilugar ang sarili. “Nakita ko namang komportable na si Leo kasi mejo nakipaglaro muna siya sa amin at nung makitang tumatawa na si Leo saka niya ako sinabihan.” pagpapaliwanag pa nito.

She was about to ask more questions nang biglang matahimik dahil nakitang papalapit sa kanila si Fiona. NAgmamadaling lumayo si Lyka.

Napalunok si Libby pero alam niyang kailangan niyang magpaliwanag sa nakalapit ng babae. "I'm so sorry about all of these, please don't get any wrong impression--"

"No-you shouldn't get the wrong impression. Jacob is my cousin."

Libby felt almost ashamed at the wave of relief that washed over her.

“We all believed it was finally a breakthrough when I convinced him to come with me on that vacation—a chance to pull him out of the isolation he’d clung to since waking from the accident. But fate had other plans.” she shrugged. "I hate you for the obvious pain that he is obviously going through again, but I have a feeling you'll be around for a while so I'll learn to tolerate you." anito at tumalikod na pra iwanan siya.

Sinundan niya ito ng tingin na puno ng respeto.

Ibinalik niya ang atensyon sa kanyang mag-ama at nanikip ang dibdib niya sa halu-halong emosyong naglalaro doon. Joy, guilt, fear.

This was how it should always have been.

If only…

She shook her head. No, don’t go there, babala ng isip. But-

If only I didn’t run. If only I didn’t leave him…

Tears about to fall again, napigilan niya iyon nang marinig ang tawag ng anak na sa wakas ay napansin siya.

“Mama!” agad nitong nakalimutan ang kalaro at tumakbo para salubungin siya.

Just a few moments ago she caught a glimpse of the old Jacob nang makita niyang nakangiti ito sa anak. But now his face was once again engulfed by silent rage as he looked at her.

“Jacob,” aniya habang karga ang anak na isinubsot ang ulo sa balikat niya, senyales ng pagkapagod. “Hindi kami agad agad makakaalis, I have to make some arrangements with everyone para hindi magulo pag wala na ako.”

Tanggap niya na na sasama siya kay Jacob. Whether she liked it or not.

Although nabanggit niya na kay Arthur ang napipintong pag-alis nila, kailangan uli nilang mag-usap kasama ang ibang staff doon. Para na rin makapag paalam ng maayos.

“Hindi nyo naman kailangang sumama sa kanya kung ayaw mo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari sa inyo pero kung may sapat na dahilan kaya mo siya iniwanan, panindigan mo lang at susuportahan ka namin." sabi pa ni Arthur.

Funny, she thought bitterly. Even Arthur might condemn her kapag nalaman kung ano ang totoong nangyari. How she left Jacob at his most vulnerable moment.

“You have until tomorrow para tapusin ang mga dapat mong tapusin.” sabi ni Jacob. “By lunchtime tomorrow, my son and I will get into the chopper, with or without you.” anito bago tumalikod para lumayo sa kanya.

JACOB spent one hell of a sleepless night. Kinuha niya ang pinakamalapit na cabin sa quarters ng staff, at muli, kinastigo ang sarili nang masigurong sina Libby at Leo ay nakatira roon kasama ang tatlo pang empleyado ng spa samantalang si Arthur ay nakatira sa sarili nitong bahay sa ibaba ng bundok malapit sa highway.

Was it really important that Libby wasn't involved with that guy? Yes. He couldn't fathom the thought that Libby belonged to another man. Someone as good-looking as Arthur. Unlike him, a scarred beast.

Hindi niya namalayan pag-angat ng palad para haplusin ang pilat sa kaliwang bahagi ng mukha. His family claims it wasn't as gross as he believed. His friends joke it added a statement to his new character. He used to be jolly and friendly, now he's as aloof as a wolf.

Napatiim bagang siya habang nakatitig sa labas ng bintana. Alam niya ang malaking pagbabago sa pagkatao niya. Alam niya rin kung sino ang dahilan nito. That woman, just a few meters away.

That woman.

The mother of his child.

He groaned in anguish and again it caused a spasm of pain to his scarred face.

Where did it all go wrong? When?

He never saw it coming. Libby leaving him at his most vulnerable moment. At ngayon, malalaman niya ang tungkol sa itinago nitong anak. Did she know she was pregnant when she left? He wouldn't ask. He didn't want to know anymore. He didn't want any more pain.

He willed the hours to pass by quickly, para sumikat na ang araw. Para mailayo niya na sa lugar na ito si Libby, maiuwi sa sarili niyang tahanan kung saan hinding-hindi niya hahayaang makawala ito sa kanyang mga paningin.

"You said goodbye to your friends as if this will only be a temporary parting." Hindi na naman napigilan ni Jacob ang nanununtang tono nang magsalita habang nakatingala silang pareho at nakatingin sa helicopter na papalapit. Nakatayo sila sa helipad na sadyang parte ng farm.

Ilang minuto lang ang nakakaraan nang masaksihan ni Jacob ang pamamaalam niya sa mga kasamahan sa trabaho na nagsilbing pamilya niya na rin. She knew she might never see them again, pero pinilit niyang maging masaya at reassuring sa mga ito.

Tanging kay Arthur siya muntikan nang bumigay at umatungal ng iyak. They talked in private and no matter how much she tried to act okay, Arthur saw through her pretense.

"If you don't want to go, he can't make you."

Ngumiti siya sa kabila ng pangingilid ng mga luha. "This is no longer about me. I have to go. I owe it to him. I owe it to Leo."

Matapos ang may kahabaang katahimikan, napa-iling si Arthur sabay ngiti ng malungkot. "I liked you a lot the first time we met."

Nahugot ni Libby ang hininga. No, please, not now.

"But somehow, I knew, I always knew you were never going to look at me the way I hoped you would." Nagkibit balikat ito. “So don’t worry. I don’t like you that way anymore. I don’t even see you as a friend now—but as a sister.”

"|Thank you." bulong niya.

Ngumiti ito. "You should go before we both cry like idiots." Tumalikod ito. "I think it would be best not to see you out."

"Goodbye." mabigat sa dibdib na bulong niya.

Jacob was right outside the door like a guard dog. She just walked past him at tinawag si Leo saka nagpaalam sa iba. That's what Jacob witnessed.

"It's not as if it's the end of the world, Jacob. I will see them again in the future."

Kung anuman ang sasabihin nito ay hindi na itinuloy dahil sa malakas na tunog ng helicopter.

Fiona decided to stay pero narinig niyang sinabi nito kay Jacob na susunod din kinabukasan dahil kailangan tapusin angunang plano ng pagpunta doon, which was great dahil ibig sabihin ay may chance pa ring mai promote nito ang farm. Libby was confident Fiona would love it despite the events that welcomed her here.

Buong akala niya ay sa Manila sila lalapag at uuwi sa condo ng lalaki. Pero nang makalapag sila ay napatingin siya sa paligid kung saan may mangilan ngilan lamang na mga bahay."Ano'ng lugar to?" tanong niya nang makababa na sila.

"Batangas." maikling sagot nito. At muli binalot sila ng katahimikan habang hinihintay ang isang pick up truck na susundo sa kanila. Soon they were in front of a two-storey house surrounded by coconut and palm trees.

Did he bring them here habang pinagdedesisyunan kung ano ang gagawin sa kanila?

"Jacob." tawag niya rito the moment na makapasok sila sa loob at umalis ang driver na tumulong magpasok ng gamit nila.

Dahan dahang lumingon ang lalaki na buhat ang natutulog nilang anak.

"Hanggang kailan tayo dito? Buong akala ko kasi sa Manila tayo didiretso. I've already asked Julie, an old classmate na hanapan kami ng apartment malapit sa condo mo."

Jacob laughed softly. "You are so funny, alam mo ba?" Dinig ang galit sa boses nito nang magsalita kahit mahina. "This is where I live. This is where my son will live. Kung ayaw mo, you are so free to go." pinal na sabi saka tumalikod patungo sa may hagdanan.

Nais man niyang magprotesta ay pinigilan niya ang sarili. There was no sense.

Sinundan niya si Jacob na paakyat ng hagdan. Pumasok sila sa isang silid at dumiretso ang lalaki sa kama para ipahiga ang natutulog na anak.

"This is going to be his room. It's kind of empty but you have all the time needed to redecorate it. Let's go to our room."

Kinuha nito ang hila niyang maleta.

"Jacob--" she protested at bigla'y lumingon ang lalaki at bumalik ng ilang hakbang palapit sa kanya.

"I think it is best that you know what the real score is. Do. Not. Jacob. Me."

With fear enveloping her whole body, she silently followed him.

Ang silid na pinasukan nila ay katabi lang ng kay Leo but it was much larger.

Ibinaba ng lalaki ang maleta, dumiretso sa mga closet. "Pinabakantehan ko yang mga closet sa kaliwa,you can use those."

Nahugot ni Libby ang hininga when he suddenly took off his shirt. The sound made him face her at napapikit uli siya sabay iwas ng mukha para hindi iyon makita ng lalaki.

But it was too late.

"You don't want to look at me Libby?" mahinang tanong nito at dahan dahan ang mga hakbang na lumapit. "If I remember clearly, you used to love my body. Who knew your love could be so fickle?"

"No Jacob, No. Hindi mo maintindihan." paimpit na sabi niya.

"Hindi ko maintindihan? When I am clearly seeing it all over again." he laughed. At naramdaman niya ang paghawak nito sa baba niya to lift it up. Wala siyang nagawa kundi buksan ang mga paningin. She stared at his face helplessly, still refusing to look at his body.

"The doctors warned my family I may never wake up again because of the injury in my head. But I fought hard Libby. I fought because of you. I wasn't expected to wake up but I did for you." nangangalit ang mga ngpin nito, trying hard to control his anger.

As for Libby, she could no longer control her tears.

Jacob seemed unaffected and continued to speak in a hate filled voice. “I opened my eyes. I saw you through that wide glass window Libby. I saw how disgusted you were when you saw my wounded body lying in that hospital bed. I saw you ran. In a way, that made me want to live. So I vowed to find you. I vowed to make you face everything that you ran away from. And you’re going to do just that from now on." Hinila nito ang kamay niya at idinambi sa pilat sa dibdib nito. She whimpered helplessly. " Every night, every waking moment, you’ll see me. All of me. And you will never dare cringe away again, Libby. You will look at me, touch me, smile and pretend that you love me. Pretend even if it kills you."