Worth Every Million

Daniel told me he loved me that morning.

He kissed my forehead before I even opened my eyes. Made coffee the way I liked it. Sat across from me at the breakfast table and smiled and said “I love you, Nora” like it cost him nothing.

I kissed him back. Told him I loved him too. Went to work with his coffee warm in my stomach and a stupid smile on my face that I couldn’t get rid of.

I was so stupid.

I came home that evening to find him sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. Not cooking. Not on his phone. Just sitting there with his hands folded and an expression I had never seen on him before.

My smile was gone before I even closed the door.

“Sit down,” he said.

“Daniel what – “

“Please. Sit down.”

I sat.

And then he talked.

And something in me that had been patient and quiet and understanding for seven years just snapped.

I don’t remember standing up. I just know one second I was sitting there and the next the chair was scraping back and I was on my feet and shaking so hard I could feel it in my jaw.

“You did WHAT.”

“Nora – “

“Say it again.” My voice didn’t sound like mine. Too loud. Too sharp. “Look me in the face and say exactly what you just told me one more time.”

“I had no choice – “

“You had no choice.” I laughed and it came out ugly and broken and I didn’t care. “You had no choice so you signed MY name. On a contract. To hand me over to a man I have never met in my life. Without asking me. Without telling me. For TWO YEARS you walked around with this and said nothing and this morning – “ my throat closed and I pushed through it – “this morning you kissed my forehead. You made me coffee. You sat right there and told me you loved me knowing what you had done. Knowing a car was coming for me tonight.”

“I do love you – “

“Do not.” I held my hand up and my whole arm was shaking. “Do not say that word to me right now Daniel. I am warning you.”

He shut his mouth.

I turned to the sink and grabbed the edge of it with both hands and stared at the drain and breathed. In. Out. In. Out. There was something building in my chest that was bigger than anything I had ever felt and if I let it out fully I was going to destroy this kitchen.

I didn’t let it out.

I turned back around.

“How much,” I said.

He swallowed. “Three million.”

“Three million dollars.” I said each word slowly. “And your solution. Your big solution. Was me.”

“Nora please just – “

“How long have you known a car was coming tonight.”

Silence.

“Daniel.”

“Three weeks,” he said quietly.

Three weeks.

I pressed my hand over my mouth. Three weeks of him coming home and eating dinner and sleeping next to me and looking me in the face every single morning. Three weeks of I love yous and how was your day and normal ordinary life while he counted down to handing me over like a piece of furniture he no longer needed.

“Get out of my way,” I said.

“Nora wait – “

“GET OUT OF MY WAY.”

He moved.

I went upstairs and I was not calm about it. I pulled the wardrobe open so hard it hit the wall. Grabbed a bag and threw things into it. My mother’s necklace. My passport. The emergency cash from the back of the drawer. Clothes I grabbed without looking because my hands were shaking too hard to care.

Daniel appeared in the doorway.

“You don’t have to pack much,” he said. “He’ll provide whatever – “

“If you finish that sentence,” I said without turning around, “I will throw something at you and I will not miss.”

He said nothing.

I zipped the bag. Picked it up. Turned around and looked at him standing in the doorway of the bedroom I had shared with him for four years and I felt something crack all the way through me.

“I painted that hallway,” I said. “I painted it myself because you said the contractor was too expensive. I chose every piece of furniture in this house. I planned a whole future here.” My voice broke and I was furious at it for breaking and I kept going anyway. “And you sat on this for three weeks and said nothing. You let me love you for three weeks knowing what you had done to me.”

His eyes were wet.

I walked past him.

Downstairs I put on my coat. Put my keys back down because they were useless to me now. Stood in the hallway I had painted with my own hands and looked at the front door.

Through the window the black car was already at the curb.

Daniel came down the stairs. I heard him behind me and I didn’t turn around.

“Nora. I’m sorry. I need you to know how sorry I am.”

I opened the door.

The cold air hit me and I walked to the car and the driver opened the door and I got in and I did not look back at my husband standing on the step. I did not give him that.

The door closed.

The car pulled away.

I sat with my bag on my lap and my coat still on and my hands balled into fists in my lap and I stared straight ahead and I was so angry I couldn’t feel anything else.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again.

Good.