CHAPTER 05

I don't know what's with me. I felt a strange feeling that I haven't felt before. This is the first time I felt so relieved.

I let out a heavy sigh before writing my John Hancock on the back of my notebook. I have to focus on our lessons but Jinx just can't get out of my mind.

I know that I like the guy, I was just attracted. I should have not thought of this, I need to focus first on my studies.

I just thought lately that what if I will stop my education and just continue it once I am already better and can stand on my own. I just realized that I am leaning on Sew's and also at Jinx. It's like if I have a problem, they are only the one who is gonna fix it. It's like I have nothing to do with myself.

"Are you even listening, Miss Marquez?" My attention immediately diverted to our lecturer when I heard my last name from her.

"A-Ah, y-yes, Miss.." I uttered, stuttering. Her brows creased and I just smiled at her awkwardly. I also smiled at my classmates apologetically but they just rolled their eyes at me. I snouted before biting my lower lip in embarrassment.

"Better listen carefully, Miss Marquez. You're a scholar, would you let your grades fail...?"

I shook my head before looking down. "N-No, Miss.."

She stared at me for a moment and slowly nod a head. She gestured to me the seat and so I sat back on my chair and focused myself on her discussions.

Time passes and it's already lunch time. I don't know if I should go to the canteen since I am not hungry, and in the first place, I have no money to buy my food.

Instead, I decided to just go to the library. I have to be advanced in every lesson. I don't want to lose my scholarship since I have decided to just continue my studies. 

I never imagined myself stopping from studying, I also don't want to waste time. My education is now free, I don't have the heart to not continue it.

I looked for a book before looking for available tables near the windows. I then went there as I found one. I sat on the chair but before I was able to open the book that I was about to read, someone just threw me a rock paper.

I stopped for a moment before shaking a head. Why are they this childish? Can they stop me? My presence was just on side and moving with serene but the bullies are the one who makes noise.

I bear with their childish acts. Even in the midst of my reading time, someone just slapped my table using a thick book, that made noise and I was the one who were scolded by the librarian. Heck.

"Oopsy, sorry!" Denisse said sarcastically. I just looked at her with my no life expression, making her beams fade. She then rolled her eyes and just walked away. Tsk. What was that?

After my class, I decided to go straight to the café for work. Before I got out of the campus gate, a group of friends again blocked my way. They are making me really annoyed

"Where are you going, penurious girl?" The teasing tone of Enzo was evident. Then they laughed like there were hilarious things that just happened. I am wondering if they were already crazy. It is not funny, though.

I hissed and was about to get aside to walk through them but they blocked me again. My jaw clenched in a subtle way. Good thing someone grabbed my arms and made me out of there!

"Thank you," I uttered at Jinx. We stopped in a parking lot. After I fixed myself, I looked at him who's now staring at me with his serious expression, again.

"Why didn't you fight?" he asked. I bit my lower lip and looked away.

"I don't have time to, and I have a job, I can't be late."

I heard him tsked. I just wagged before looking around, looking for a taxi to pass through here.

He sighed. "I'll bring you there, don't worry."

My brows creased. How can he? But I can go with myself! I don't need him every time.

"I already said lately that don't go without me, Astra. Obey me next time, this is already the warning." 

Only I can do is to nod my head.

I was about to walk in the right direction when a motorcycle parked in front of us. At first, I thought someone would be murdering us but I was wrong when Jinx approached the guy that was sitting on the motorcycle.

"This is Simon, my cousin." Jinx introduced him to me, the guy removed the helmet that was covering his head, he then shook his head to make his messy hair pleasant.

"Hi, Simon." He smiled and extended his hand to me, I stared at him for a second. Heck, he's so handsome too!

"H-Hi, A-Astra.." I do not know why I am even stuttering by just saying my name to him. Why am I always stunning whenever I saw a handsome guy anyway? I mean, I am not even flirty!

"Let's go, I'll bring you there!" My attention shifted into Jinx. He was tapping the motorcycle, gesturing to me to sit there. I wonder who owns this? I see that it's expensive.

"Bye, Astra, Jinx! I'll just go inside and see them!" Simon waved his hand before walking towards the campus' gate. I tsked before looking at Jinx again.

"You like him?" He asked curiously, I shook my head in immediate before biting the inside of my cheeks. I don't like him, I just admire his features.

"No." He nodded before gesturing to me again at the back of the motor, he's now sitting in front and preparing his helmet. I went near him and he handed me the extra headgear. I got and wore it before riding with the motor. "Who owns this by the way?"

He started the engine first before taking a response. "Mine."

My mouth forms an "o" in surprise. I did not expect that. He must be this rich.

"You must have been this rich, huh?"

He chuckled. "No, my mother just gave it to me."

In the midst of our trip, we talked a lot about his motorcycle. And of course, I saw my former home again. Just like yesterday, it still has no life. I wonder if there's still people living there? 

"I love my mother so much to the point that I can't disobey her, she's my life." I don't know what to say about his statement. It's just that, I'm amazed. He must have a healthy relationship with his family.

I heaved a sigh while gently holding his bag that was on his back, that serves as my support to not fall. I then thought of what he just said.

I hope I have a good and healthy relationship with my family too.

Because I am still on my wretched self.

When we arrived at the café, Jinx pleaded to help me but all I could do was refuse. He can't help me! He guided me starting in the morning but not here at my job. This is already my work and not his.

I just told him to go to his home before it 

gets dark. He promised to fetch me and I was about to say no when he cut me off. Heck, he won't accept no as a response

"Good evening, Ma'am. What was your order?" It's already seven in the evening and I can't deny that it was so tiring. The customer gave me her order, I then went to the counter and got the coffee and bread.

"Are you going to overtime?" The cashier asked, raising a brow to me. I shook my head shyly and didn't utter anything. I chose to be in silence rather than having a conversation with others that all I can see is hatred.

Time passed and I felt numb. I relaxed for a few seconds before continuing what I was doing. The manager might have caught me having a rest when it's time for work. I might get fired.

But in the midst of serving other customers, my cheap phone just rang all of a sudden. I gave the customer the order first before excusing myself.

"Hello?" I uttered as I answered the call. I don't know who is calling, the number was not registered on my contacts, though.

"H-Hello, A-Astra.." I don't know what and how to react when I hear a familiar voice on the other line. It's my sister! But I'm curious why she sounds so nervous and shivering.

"Why? Why did you call?" I don't want to cry again just because of her call. I admit that I miss her just in a day but I can't stop myself from feeling furious by shoving me away. They didn't even stop our mother from doing that!

"N-No, please.. listen to me.. f-father just went to a hospital.. p-please, help us.. help him.. h-he can't b-breathe.."

My jaw dropped, I felt something tugged my chest hence I wanted to feel more numb.

Father..