Yearning (A short collection of yearning tales)

Three years of marriage. Three miscarriages. Three times I lay in a cold, sterile hospital room while my heart was torn into a thousand jagged pieces.

The white ceiling of St. Jude Memorial Hospital stared back at me, relentless and bright. The sharp, bitter scent of antiseptic filled my lungs as I lay motionless on the narrow hospital bed. My body was numb, but the hollow ache inside my abdomen felt like an open, bleeding wound.

Just two hours ago, the doctor had walked into the room with a solemn, pitying look on his face. He didn't even need to speak. I already knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth. The heartbeat was gone. My third baby, the tiny life I had prayed for, sheltered, and cherished for three fragile months, was dead.

I was alone.

My husband, Damien Vance, was nowhere to be found.

I reached with a trembling hand toward the bedside table, picking up my phone. My fingers were ice cold as I dialed Damien's personal number for the fifth time that afternoon. The phone rang, echoing in my ear until it went straight to voicemail.

"You have reached Damien Vance. Leave a message."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I tapped into my messaging app, sending a short text message to his private number.

Damien, please. I'm at St. Jude Hospital. The baby... I lost the baby. Please come.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. My phone remained silent. No call back. No text message. Not even a single word of comfort.

Unable to lie in that dark, cold room any longer, I slowly swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Every movement sent a dull, throbbing pain through my lower body, but physical pain was nothing compared to the suffocating agony in my chest. I pulled on my coat, gripped my handbag tightly, and signed my own discharge papers at the front nurse's station.

As I walked down the long, carpeted corridor toward the elevator bank on the VIP floor, I saw a familiar figure standing near the entrance of the private maternity suite at the end of the hallway.

It was Damien.

My husband sat on the plush leather couch outside the delivery room. He was wearing a dark charcoal suit, his broad shoulders tense, his hands clasped tightly between his knees as he stared at the red "In Progress" light glowing above the double doors. On his face was an expression of pure, desperate anxiety, an expression I had never seen him wear for me in three years of marriage.

Beside him sat his mother, Mrs. Vance, gently patting his shoulder while whispering words of encouragement.

Standing in front of them was a nurse holding a clipboard.

"Mr. Vance," the nurse announced with a bright, professional smile as the double doors swung open. "Congratulations! Your sister in law, Clara, has successfully delivered healthy twin boys! Both mother and babies are doing wonderfully."

Damien stood up so quickly his chair scraped loudly against the polished floor. A massive, breathtaking smile broke across his handsome face, a smile so full of genuine joy and overwhelming relief that it felt like a physical blow to my chest.

"They're okay?" Damien asked, his voice trembling with emotion. "Clara is okay?"

"Yes, Mr. Vance," the nurse reassured him. "You can come inside to see her and the twins now."

Mrs. Vance let out a happy sob, clutching Damien's arm. "Oh, thank God! The Vance family finally has heirs! Clara has brought such a blessing to our home!"

I stood fifty feet away, hidden near the corner of the elevator shaft, watching the man I called my husband walk into the maternity suite with his mother. He looked like a proud, devoted father walking into the room to greet his newborn children and the woman who had borne them.

Not once did he check his phone. Not once did he look down the hallway to see if his own wife was alive.

While I was losing our child alone in an operating room on the third floor, Damien was sitting on the fifth floor, holding his sister in law's hand and eagerly waiting for her to give birth to his brother's twins.

A cold, bitter wind seemed to blow straight through my soul. The tears that had been welling in my eyes suddenly stopped falling. My trembling hands went completely still.

For three years, I had lowered myself to the dirt for this man. I had endured the cruel taunts of his wealthy family, ignored his cold indifference, and given up my own dignity just to hold on to the hope that one day he would see me, love me, and build a real family with me. I had convinced myself that if I was patient enough, obedient enough, and loving enough, his heart of stone would eventually melt.

What a pathetic, foolish fool I had been.

I reached into my handbag, pulled out my smartphone, and tapped on a file saved in my secure drive. It was a formal legal document I had prepared months ago, hoping I would never have to use it.

Divorce Agreement.

I walked over to the hospital's business center on the ground floor, printed two clean copies on crisp white paper, and placed them neatly into a manila envelope.

When I stepped back out into the hospital lobby, Damien was standing near the glass exit doors, finally looking at his phone. His brow was furrowed in a tight, annoyed line as he scrolled through my missed calls and text messages.

When he caught sight of me walking toward him, his face hardened into an expression of deep impatience.

"Sophia," Damien snapped, his tone cold and sharp. "Where have you been? Why are you blowing up my phone with dramatic messages while Clara was in the middle of labor? Do you have any idea how important today is for our family?"

I stopped three feet away from him. I looked into his dark, handsome eyes, eyes that had never once looked at me with warmth, and I didn't feel the familiar pang of anxiety or pain. I felt nothing. Just an endless, silent void.

I reached into my bag, pulled out the manila envelope, and held it out toward his chest.

"Let's divorce, Damien," I said, my voice remarkably calm and steady. "It's for your own good.”