CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

NOLAN POV

January was always a busy month for both of my businesses. People made New Year's resolutions to get healthier, so the gyms and healthy food places were full. But by February, everything always went back to normal. Most people gave up their goals.

Now it was the middle of February. Life was calm again, or as calm as it could be after meeting Gwen. I couldn't stop thinking about her. The worst part was the guilt. I felt terrible about how I acted and what I said to her on New Year's Eve. I really wanted to say sorry, but seeing her was a bad idea. She left without telling April where she went, and that told me she didn't want to be found.

Anyway, things were mostly back to normal. Even my daughter, April, had time to visit tonight. I was making her fried rice. Of course, that brought back memories of Christmas at the cabin... with Gwen.

The front door opened and then closed quickly. "Dad?”

"I'm in the kitchen, sweetie."

She walked in. She was carrying a bottle of red wine. She went straight to the drawer to find the corkscrew. Her movements were sharp and forceful, like she was mad at my kitchen cabinets.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. I was stirring the sauce on the stove.

"I'm angry at my roommate. Or, I guess I should say, my former roommate." She kept digging through the drawer. The drawer rattled loudly.

I felt myself tense up. I didn't want to ask about Gwen, but I knew I had to be a good father. "What happened?"

"She just left. Like a ghost. Poof. Gone." She let out a loud, frustrated "ugh." I wasn't sure if the sound was about Gwen or because she couldn't find the corkscrew.

I walked over, gently pushed her aside, and quickly found the corkscrew. I took the wine bottle from her to open it. "What do you mean, 'she just left'?"

April took a deep, shaky breath. "I mean, I came home a few days ago, and she was just gone. Her phone is disconnected. She's completely gone."

Worry grew inside me. Had something bad happened to her? "Did you call the cops? When did this happen, exactly?" I tried to keep my voice even.

"About a week ago, and no, I didn't call the cops. She wasn't kidnapped, Dad. She took all her things. She left a note that basically said she had to leave. And she moved out. No warning. No reason. No nothing." She took the glass of wine I handed her and took a long drink.

I poured a little wine for myself, needing a moment to process this. "Did you two have a big fight?"

"No!" She looked at me with a look that said, Are you crazy? Then she shook her head sadly. "I don't know what to think. Maybe she had a total breakdown or something." She rubbed her forehead. "If that's the case, then I feel like a terrible friend for not seeing she was stressed out. I've just been angry that she left me with all the rent."

"A breakdown?" I asked, confused. What the heck? Gwen seemed like a strong woman. But then again, she had been through a lot, and I really was horrible to her on New Year's Eve.

April leaned against the counter, looking defeated. "She has been acting different ever since the new year started, Dad. Very, very quiet."

My gut tightened right away. The guilt hit me hard. This could be my fault.

"At first, I just thought she was super motivated about this last semester of school. She's always studying a lot," April continued. "And don't you dare say anything about me not being studious."

I held my hands up like I was surrendering. I pressed my lips together to keep quiet.

"Anyway, she was studying even more than usual this semester. All she did was go to class and study. I told her she couldn't live like that—she would burn out. She seemed to agree and said she was going to spend the weekend resting. But when I finally came home, she was gone. And I haven’t been able to find her anywhere on campus."

If she was only studying too hard, maybe it wasn't my fault she left, right? I tried to push the hope down. "How could she pack up all her things so fast and leave before you got home? Where did you go that you were gone so long?" I realized my rice was about to overcook. I pulled the pot off the stove and poured the water out.

"I went to Cole’s house."

I ran cold water over the rice to stop them from cooking right away. April became very quiet. I turned off the water and looked at her.

April gave me a small, sheepish smile. "I got back Tuesday."

I frowned. "When did you leave?"

"Saturday morning."

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you two talk or text at all during those few days?"

"No, but we talked before I left, and everything was fine! I know she wasn't completely sure about Cole, my boyfriend, but she wouldn't just get up and leave because I was spending so much time with him, would she?"

I honestly didn't think so, but how well did I truly know Gwen?

"I tried to text and call her again when I found the note, but that's when I saw her phone was turned off and disconnected."

"Is she having money problems? Maybe she had to move home with her family," I offered. I reached back and turned off the running water.

"Then why not tell me? We're best friends. We talk about everything."

"Maybe she's embarrassed or too proud to ask for help."

April shrugged, her anger returning. "It really feels like she just wanted to get away from me."

Was that my fault? Was April a constant reminder of what a jerk I had been to Gwen?

April sniffed loudly. "Maybe I should have known something was wrong when I found her throwing up in the bathroom at the club on New Year’s."

"Throwing up?" Oh, no. This is getting worse.

"Something made her sick, so Aaron took her home early. But maybe that was the start of whatever had her leaving." April's eyes started to water. "I should have gone home with her. Maybe I shouldn't have been gone so much with Cole." She had moved from being angry to feeling terribly guilty. She'd have to wait in line behind me for the guilt, I thought darkly.

I pulled April into a big hug to comfort her. At the same time, I was thinking that maybe Gwen got sick because of how I treated her. Or... oh hell. Could she be pregnant? I quickly told myself no. It had only been a week, ten days at the most, since we first had sex. I remembered when April's mom got pregnant: it took several weeks before we even found out, and a few weeks more before she felt sick.

April sniffed and pulled away from the hug. "It was still a really mean thing for her to just leave like that." She was back to being angry. I realized she probably learned that behavior—getting mad when you can't handle your own feelings—from me.

"Have you gone to her family's house to ask her dad what happened?"

"No. She made it very clear in the note that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Besides, I don't know exactly where her dad lives."

"Seriously? You're best friends with her, but you don't know where her family is?"

"It's somewhere far away... I bet she doesn't want me to know where she live," she shot back defensively. Then she frowned again. "Did she say something to you over Christmas? Was she upset that I didn't come?"

I swallowed hard as a rush of memories of Gwen and me at the cabin flashed in my mind. "She didn't give me that impression at all."

"Well, it doesn't matter now. I’ve already given her room to Aaron. Since he and Cole were living together and needed to move, I told them they could move into my place with me."

My stomach tensed up again, but this time it was about my daughter living with a boy. "By 'move into your place,' do you mean Cole and Aaron will share Gwen’s old bedroom?"

She gave me a huge eye-roll. "No, Dad. Aaron would take Gwen's room, and Cole will move into my room."

"What the heck, April! You're moving in with a boy you just met?"

She shook her head and pressed her lips together. "I didn't 'just meet' him, Dad. It's been almost six months."

I returned her eye-roll. "That is not long enough to decide to live with someone. Not right now. You need to finish school, get a good job... and imagine if you got pregnant."

"You don’t look as old as you act, you know."

"I'm an old man who happens to be your father."

"Can we just eat dinner, please?"

"Right." I turned back to finishing dinner as April set the table. We were silent for a moment. I knew our way of arguing—getting defensive when things got tough—was not good.

But once I put the food on the table, the evening went well, as long as we stayed away from talking about Cole. Even so, my mind never stopped wondering what happened to Gwen. Why did she pack up and leave without wanting April to contact her?