CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

NOLAN POV

When I was done pumping in my last shot, the irritation returned. I hated how weak I was to resist Gwen. I hated the strong pull she had on me, like a chain.

I quickly pulled out and yanked my pants up. The anger twisted deep inside me. She had stolen my control and made me a slave to my need for sex. I blamed her for it.

Just like my need for sex, my anger took over. "You got what you wanted, now get the hell away from me." I didn't need to look at her to know my words were cruel. I knew her eyes would show shock and hurt. I hated how mean I could be, and I decided it was her fault for that, too.

She slid off the table and straightened her dress. "Right back at you, Nolan." She laughed, but it was a cold, empty sound. That put me even more on edge. Was she really laughing at me?

"And you called me childish and immature," she said. She started walking toward the door, but stopped right next to me. She looked up and glared. Her eyes were sharp, like glass. "You're acting like a stupid, angry teenage boy who can't control his dick. Thank you for showing me what a complete jerk you are."

She turned to walk away, and a mix of regret and hot anger filled me. I wanted to grab her and stop her, but a part of me was relieved to see her go.

She reached the door and stopped. She turned her head to look over her shoulder at me. "You are completely erased from my memory. I won't think of you again. If I do, it will only be to remember what a worthless person you are."

I took a step toward her, my hand reaching out. "Gwen—"

She didn't let me finish. She opened the door and disappeared into the noisy hall.

I ran my fingers through my hair, grabbing the roots. I hated the man I became when I was near her. I really blamed Gwen for making me such an idiot, even though a quiet voice in my head told me it was my own fault.

Damn it.

I quickly left the room, hoping to find her and say sorry. I looked through the main part of the club, scanning the crowd, but she wasn't there.

Maybe her being angry at me was the best thing. I clearly couldn't control my urges or my awful behavior around her. This way, she would make sure to stay far away if we ever saw each other again.

I pulled out my phone and quickly texted my friend, Watt, that I was leaving. I wasn't in the mood to party. I certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with the advances of my date, Ella or Erica—I couldn't remember her name. I had been trying to think of an excuse to not sleep with her even before Gwen showed up. My date would think I was very rude, but right now, I truly didn't care.

'What's wrong? You sound upset,' Watt's text appeared on the screen.

'Bad headache,' I lied.

I went straight home. The moment I walked through the door, I made a direct path to my liquor cabinet. I grabbed the first bottle I saw and sank onto my couch. I turned on the TV just in time to see the shiny ball drop in Times Square for the New Year.

I lifted the bottle. I saluted the angry reflection of myself in the dark TV screen. "Happy damn New Year, you idiot."

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GWEN POV

The second I walked away from Nolan, I wanted to lean against the wall and just breathe. My legs felt shaky, and my heart felt like it had been crushed by a heavy stone. I was a smart, strong woman. How had I let myself be tricked by a man I knew could be so terrible?

But I didn't stop. I used the strength I had found to yell at him to keep me moving. I hurried back toward the main party and then, finally, to the bathroom. Only when I was safely locked in a stall did I finally give in to the shame and pain. I bent over and silently cried into the toilet bowl.

"Gweneth?" April's voice echoed through the empty restroom.

"Yeah?" I quickly tried to wipe the tears from my face.

"Have you been in here this whole time? I've been looking all over for you."

"Oh. Yeah," I mumbled. I hated lying to her, but I couldn't tell her the truth. Her dad had just slept with me and then called me a horrible name.

"Why didn't you answer when I was here before?" April's shoes stopped right under my stall door.

"Uh. I'm feeling sick. I was probably throwing up." That wasn't a complete lie. My stomach was still churning.

"Oh, no. What can I do to help you?" April's voice was full of worry.

"Nothing. I'm... I'm just going to call a taxi to go home."

"No way. We can drive you."

"No. I don't want to ruin your night." I couldn't let April take care of me when the problem was her own father. All I wanted was to be alone and far away.

"You're sick! Of course, I'll take you home."

"No, please. You stay here." I unlocked the stall door and walked to the sink to wash my face and rinse my mouth out. I couldn't look at April right now—I would only see her father's face and hear his horrible, cruel words.

April looked closely at me. "You look really bad."

"I'll be okay." And I would be. No matter what, I would not let Nolan keep me feeling sad or weak. "Stay and have fun. Please, I mean it."

She pressed her lips together, thinking. Then she tapped something on her phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm ordering a ride for you."

Panic hit me hard. "I don't need a ride from your dad!"

April frowned at me. "Not my dad. I doubt I could pull him away from that girl who's practically crawling on him. Aaron will drive you."

"I don't want to make him leave the party—"

"Stop arguing. Come on."

When we walked out of the bathroom, Aaron was already there, waiting. He gave me a kind, gentle smile. "Feeling unwell? Let me get you home safely."

We walked down the long hall and back toward the club's exit.

"You really don't have to drive me home," I said to him, feeling guilty.

"Please, let me. It's not a problem at all."

"See? It's done," April said, linking her arm through mine. "Aaron will drop you off, and I'll call you later to check on you." There was no point in fighting with April.

As Aaron led me outside into the cool night air, I said again, "You truly don't need to leave the party for me."

"You're actually doing me a favor by letting me take you home," he admitted.

I looked at him, not believing him.

"No, really," he insisted. "I didn't even want to come tonight." He winced slightly. "Not that I didn't want to meet you, I just mean..."

I put my hand up. "I get it. I was also talked into coming tonight."

He gave me a shy, thankful smile. "Are you really sick, or did you just find a brilliant excuse to leave? If it was a lie, it was a great one. I wish I'd thought of it."

"I'm not ill," I admitted quietly.

"Your secret is safe with me," he promised.

Aaron was very kind and sweet. I was so grateful that he took me home. He walked me all the way to my door and promised again that he wouldn't tell April or anyone else that I wasn't really sick. I felt like I was collecting a lot of secrets lately. Maybe it was time to stop.