chapter 3: she was virgin

What atrocities did you commit this time?"

Marshall asked as the two brothers walked back into the room. Marcelo didn't reply but pointed at the bed instead. Marshall looked over and didn't notice anything weird, moving closer to the bedpost, he noticed that there were about three drops of red color on the white sheets. Staring hard he asked

" Is this what I think it is?"

" Yeah"

" Let me get this straight, Anaya's a virgin?"

" Was..... she was and would still have been one ...... I'm such a fool..... I feel so irritated and embarrassed right now."

" Did you know about this?"

" No, I didn't"

" So why is it that you didn't go after her to explain yourself?"

" what would I possibly say, Marshall?..... Is it that I hurt her? Or that I don't deserve her forgiveness and that I know I deserve worse? Or that I was so inconsiderate and should have asked if she was ready before planting my pennis inside her? .... Let's face it Marshall, I'm a fool."

" Were you aware that she was a virgin?"

" No, I wasn't, and coupled with the way she... she was responding to my touch I... I felt it wasn't her first time."

" I mean I'm shocked that you missed such a detail but given that it's Ana I'm not surprised."

" What are you even saying, Marshall?... I just took away her innocence and you want to justify my sin?"

" Well, what do you want to do...Kill yourself? Come on Marcelo, you're better than that. I don't think Ana even detests the whole thing, I just feel she was overwhelmed by all the feelings and couldn't keep up with you because, for one thing, I know the girl adores you and that everything that went on must have been consensual.

" I feel terrible Marshall, I don't get how I keep messing things up with the one person I like."

"Exactly why you need to meet up with her and explain yourself, Marcelo you're my brother and I know you so well to know that when you're around Anaya, you usually don't think straight. It would be believable if you told me you were carried away because you're always impulsive around that girl."

" Exactly why I need to fix myself before I face her again, I can't face her now when I'm so messed up and impulsive like you said ."

" Well if that's your final decision, I think you should forget about ever meeting her."

" What do you mean?"

" She's leaving."

" And how do you know that?"

" Gini told me"

" That's not right... Gianni's usually very secretive when it comes to giving out details about Anaya and that includes with you."

" Exactly, Gini confided in me when she was drunk. I'm not meant to be telling this to you but I thought you had to know so you could fix things before she left."

" Why is she leaving?"

" The same reason she left the last time."

" And what was that?"

" You must be kidding me, Marcelo, you were cooped up in a room with a girl you say you like and yet you couldn't even ask her why she disappeared for two years?... What were you doing if you weren't trying to understand why she disappeared???? you are messed up." Marshall couldn't stand him anymore so he walked out of the room slamming the door hard on his way out.

The ride back to Anaya's house was a quiet one with Anaya staring out the window and Dorian focusing on the road. The silence was becoming suffocating so Dorian decided to break the silence

" Your cousin is a whole package when she's drunk."

" I know right"

Anaya replied as she tore her gaze away from the road to focus on Dorian

" Yeah... I mean in the little span of taking her up the stairs, I successfully dogged two punches from her and am earful of reasons why I should do as you tell me."

" Turns out that after supporting you earlier she still sees you as a potential threat."

Anaya answered while smiling lightly

" She keeps me on my toes"

" I know right, she's what keeps me in check at times."

" Yeah, she's a good person."

" mmhm, she is

"How are you feeling? Are you still cold? "

" no, I'm fine thanks. "

"Why are you suddenly thanking me? "

" You always seem to be there any time I need company or a friend .... thanks and, I agree with Gini, I would trust you a million times over anyone including Marcelo."

" I don't think you should make hasty conclusions while you're angry, it's not the right state of mind and I know that when you're level-headed you'll go back on your words."

" First of all, I'm not angry..... I'm disappointed and embarrassed of myself. Secondly, I don't understand what you meant when you said I'll go back on my words... Care to explain?"

" Well this is Marcelo we are talking about, you're in love with that guy, anybody can see that, and Ana, do you know the weird thing about love, it's the fact that even after repeatedly telling yourself you're over the person, you find yourself going back on your words and doing the exact opposite. It makes one a little bit retarded I may say."

" Just like you and I right?"

" Right"

" Thanks, Dorian"

" This is the second time you're thanking me just this night, don't make me feel pitiful Ana."

" It's not easy to do what you keep doing for me, especially when I don't seem to see you in that light."

" it doesn't batter... You know, I always wondered why you could not like me the way you liked Marcelo but then I realized, it's love.... and sadly you don't get to choose who you like. Anaya, as long as we get to talk like this once in a while I'm content and even if we didn't, I would still be there if you needed me."

"There's....genuine love and there's the toxic one.....the toxic hurts, not just the two people involved but also everyone around them.... like my mom's love for my dad, it has wrecked me and I can't even understand what love is anymore. I kept wondering why she wouldn't give up on him and move on but I guess I get it now, she's obsessed with him Dorian, just like I am with Marcelo. I dread that I may turn out like her one day, clingy, needy, and suicidal."

There was a bitter smile on her face when she was done speaking. Dorian's heart ached for her as his hands found hers while the other remained on the steering wheel. Ana was the strongest and happiest girl he had known but since her parents began having problems In their marriage he had watched her break piece by piece while putting on a strong facade on the outside. Marcelo whom she felt was her safe heaven wasn't even safe for her, he was the perfect man but he just didn't know how to love her. The moments she needed him most he always made it his priority to disappear.

" It's normal to be scared but what sets you apart is that you're determined and you certainly cannot let death win, suicide is totally out of the option. We'll cry, whine, starve, and push ahead. You shouldn't even consider death.'

" Have I told you You're my best friend Dorian Yates?"

Anaya asked emotionally as she leaned into his arms.

"I probably should have recorded that." Dorian chuckled making the car more lively

" That's your loss cause I won't be saying it anymore"

Anaya teased before getting off his arms

" How's your mum's health doing now?"

" She's better... She'll be discharged tomorrow."

" Why that's great news, is she joining you here?"

" No, I will be leaving to go stay with her."

" Ohhh.... so when will you be returning?"

" I haven't even left yet."

Anaya chuckled wondering what had suddenly gotten into him

" I'm just curious because the last time you left, it took you two years to come back and now that you're finally back, you haven't even spent up to a week yet you're leaving...again."

" I can't tell when exactly..... But we'll still be keeping in touch so as usual, you'll be the first to know when."

" Good, do you wanna grab something to eat? I noticed you didn't eat anything all night."

" Good and umm...do you wanna grab something to eat? I noticed you didn't eat anything all night."

" That was a nice observation."

" Soooo... is that a yes?"

" Of course it is or did you expect me to say no?"

She asked looking at him in disbelieve, she didn't think he would expect her to say, how shameless has the man turned she thought to herself

" I was hoping you would say no, too bad wishes aren't horses."

He replied before bursting into laughter

" Add the fact that you're so stingy to the reason why I wouldn't date you."

" What do you mean I'm the most generous man you'll ever find."

" Pfffttt oh please Dorian, I'll have you know that my ex did a handful when it came to being generous, the man was so tired of being born into money that he gifted me to relieve himself of the pain"

She replied to him while giggling. Looking eagerly at him, she anticipated his reply and he didn't disappoint.

" I can't compete with your ex, I need my money please."

He laughed out loud. Pulling up at a restaurant, they got out to go eat. Settling into an empty cubicle, the waiter walked over to them and they placed their orders.

" So tell me about the generosity your ex has shown you.

" Well, just today, he gifted me two items at once for the two birthdays he missed."

" Pfffttt seriously... Just that? I already did that didn't I?"

" Yes you did but he gifted me a custom-made gold keychain and the latest iPad."

As they were talking, their meals arrived and they dug in

" Wow....He sure has some money to waste, too bad you didn't take it cause you were pissed."

" Haa... That is where you've got it wrong, yes he hurt me but the gifts are innocent."

Ana's reply made him choke on his food, he had seen shameless people but this lady right here was too much.

" You took the gifts?"

" Of course I did, it's not every day you get to be gifted with gold and expensive gadgets dear."

Ana replied while flexing the pendant on her neck.

" I could make a fortune if I sold this don't you agree."

" Remind me, please... How do I know you again?"

Anaya laughed as he looked at him, the guy always knew how to cheer her up and his facial expressions were to die for.

" You gotta think about the profits dear... If you ever gift me gold I'll do the same, money after all is difficult to come by these days."

Dorian shook his head in disbelief when he heard all that she had to say.

" You are unbelievable Anaya, I'll make sure to keep it as a reminder to never gift you gold."When Gianni got back the next day it was already noon, she had waited in the hope that Anaya would be gone before she returned but there she was, on the bed in which they shared. She was reading a book

"Hey"

" Why are you still here, shouldn't you be on a flight back by now?"

" I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to my favorite cousin."

" And who is that?"

" It's you of course, who else."

" You didn't see me as your favorite cousin when you made selfish decisions last night."

" I'm very sorry about last night, I shouldn't have been so inconsiderate it's just that for the last two years, I watched my mom get worse as the days went by, every day was about me waking up to a new threat, If she wasn't being delusional, she was on the nearest window trying to jump down or probably cutting her wrist in any hidden room and many other scary things... I don't want you to see that Gianni, it's scary and even talking about it now makes me feel embarrassed."

Anaya said while looking down

" I... You've never told me this part."

" It's nothing, I just didn't want you to be worried."

" Does my mom know?"

" Not everything, she just knows part of it."

" I'm sorry for making a scene outside, I should have known you had your reasons."

" It doesn't matter, what matters is that we've cleared things now and we're good."

" No, we aren't good yet."

" About Marcelo, I should have listened to you... He threw me out again."

" What went on this time?"

" We were good at first then when it was time to sleep with me, he felt irritated that he was going to be my first. I began to wonder if I was repulsive or something"?

" Did he tell you what his issue was?"

" No, he just ran off into his bathroom and made sure I left before he came out."

" And once again Anaya, you've been played."

" I know, I just don't understand what sort of hold he has on me I've told myself several times to stay away from him but every single day I find myself thinking about him..... I feel like my mom right now. So stuck up with my dad and even attempted suicide because of a divorce.

" I don't like Marcelo you know that right?"

" Yes, I do."

" I don't think you're turning out like your mom and even if you were, just know that the both of you are just in love with the wrong person, I think if you looked further you'll see a handsome man who is ready to share the world with you."

" Lemme guess, Dorian?"

" Exactly, that man adores you, girl."

" I know he does."

" So what's stopping you from adoring him too?"

" Dorian is like the best friend I never had minus you though, you're family."

" And your point is?"

" I fear that I would mess things up with him, so I continue keeping him as a friend and liking him from afar."

" It's better to try than to regret never trying."

" I want to go on hiatus on men Ginni, I don't want to end up like my mom, begging for my father's love. I want to be an independent woman and I don't need to be in a romantic relationship with any man for that to happen."

" You're scared Ana and I can't say I understand because I don't, I've never been in such a situation and as such I can't belittle your suffering all I can say is that I hope you learn to open your heart to someone one day and that I'm always right here if you need my help."

" Thanks, Ginni."

" No need to thank me, you're my girl after all...ohhh and What time is your flight?"

" Tomorrow morning."

" What of Aunty, who would stay with her when she gets back today?"

" I thought about all you said last night and you were right, I should have discussed it with your mom before making my decision."

" Anddd?"

" And I discussed it with your mom this morning."

" Tell me the whole story and stop making me beg to hear more."

" Alright fine, fine....she got someone to help out with my mom, which means I don't necessarily have to go there today."

" Can't you stay for a week more??"

" I could but I don't want to run back to Marcelo, so I decided to leave tomorrow."

" Ohh, well that's okay, at least we get to spend some hours together before you get back..... wanna hang?"

" let's just stay indoors today, I don't wanna meet with any unnecessary individual."

" Sure, wanna watch a movie and chill?"

" Sure"

Anaya replied with a smile on her face.