失明的深情：他親手挖走我的光

Riven

The air in the locker room was thick with the smell of sweat, old leather, and that kind of happiness that comes after a good win. We had fought for this one, and the feeling was good, but it was also heavy. Everyone was still buzzing, and talking over one another as we pulled off our helmets and shin guards.

"Greg! Get off here, man! I'm bathing. Don't look at my ass, you gay motherfucker!" Sean shouted, his voice cutting through the noise, and a wave of laughter erupted all around the room. It was just boys being boys, all of us being loud and happy and rough with one another. Sean threw a wet towel at Greg, who just laughed and threw it back.

I smiled at the noise, but it didn't quite get to me. I was good at this. I was good at this game, good at being the captain, and most of all, good at playing the part.

I was busy trying to unstrap a particularly stubborn shin guard that would not just let go of my shin when my phone started to ring.

It was a sharp, high-pitched ringtone that cut through the noise. It was Lara's ringtone. I had set it that way myself, years ago, when I still thought it was cute.

"Damn… Captain Riven, the lover boy's phone is ringing!" Jade called out, clearly trying to tease me. Then laughter started up again.

"He doesn't want to pick it up!" someone else added.

They were right. I didn't want to pick it up. I knew what it was all about already. A long talk about duties. Questions about why I was so distant. And a constant reminder of what everyone expected from me. So, it was just better that I let it ring. And I let it ring again.

I put the phone face down on the bench. I knew she was calling to check on me, to see if I was okay. Which is good, right? I mean, the thought of it should have made me feel warm, yeah?

But no. Not even in the slightest way did it make me feel warm. It just made me feel tired, bored, and extremely exhausted. I was so fucking tired of being what everyone wanted me to be.

"Is that not your girlfriend, Captain? Why don't you want to answer her call?" Jade asked, nudging me playfully on my arm.

I just gave a lazy shrug. "I'll call her back later. We just finished up," I lied.

We just finished up. Yes, that's what I said. But the truth was, I just didn't want to talk to her. It was always a conversation about what we were, not about who we wanted to be.

The locker room door swung open just then, and everyone fell silent. It was a funny thing. One moment, we were a bunch of rowdy boys, and the next, we were quiet men, standing to attention.

Lara walked in, and you could immediately perceive her. She was easy to identify—she smelled of perfume, money, expensive things, and the weight of tradition.

She was beautiful, of course. Everybody knew that. Her smile was bright and flawless, but I could see past that smile. It was a smile she used for the pack, for the cameras, and for our by-forced future.

She came straight to me, her eyes on me alone. She leaned in, with a soft voice. "Baby, I've been calling you."

A low chorus of "ooohs" and "awwwn" roared from my teammates. The cooing was loud, but it was also a sign of respect. They knew she was the future Luna, the one who held my hand when my reign began.

I pulled her into a hug. It was a familiar hug. I had done it so many times already, and I didn't have to think about it. It was more like an instinct now. "Hey, Lara. We just finished up. I didn't have my phone on me."

That was the lie I always told. And it was the lie she always accepted. We were both good at this. Good at pretending.

She didn't let go. She kept her arms wrapped around my neck, her lips brushing my ear. "I was worried about you."

"It was just a game, Lara," I said, trying to pull away. But no, she wouldn't leave me.

She held on tight. "No, Riven, everything you do out there is not just a game to me."

Her breath was warm against my skin, which on a good day was supposed to send shivers down my spine, right? But instead, it sent aches to my stomach.

She leaned in, her lips finding mine. I didn't kiss her back right away, but then I did, because that's what was expected. It was a public kiss, a show for all of the boys in the room—to make them jealous, to make them see perfection, and above all, a reminder of what we were.

When she finally pulled away, her eyes were no longer soft. They were hard, and they held my gaze with purpose. "I've been calling you because the council called. They want to see you this evening."

I felt my blood drain from my face. The council was the law. They were the ones who held the keys to our world. And they didn't just want to "talk." I knew that already. And that was what I had been avoiding. Their call always meant that they wanted to remind me of my place as an ‘Alpha’.