Lahat ng Kabanata ng Wretched Self: Kabanata 51 - Kabanata 60
70 Kabanata
CHAPTER 51
JINX'S POV It was like I am lost. I cannot find myself anymore. I don't know where to seek the old self when I am with the woman I love. I only feel like I am complete when I am around with my significant other.  And now that I am alone, I lost reason to live. I do not know anymore what my purpose is and why I decided to continue to live. I lost everything and my happiness fades away. I did continue living to just accept the fact that happiness don't last long. That life is full of challenges and struggles that everyone should pass through. Cold breeze hit my skin as I sat on a Bermuda grass. I then roamed my eyes around the city lights. I forced a smile. I was already viewing the quite huge city and I hope. I just hope that she was there... That she was in the inside of one of the house or unit. If she does not
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CHAPTER 52
"Wow, so fast, bro." I just smiled at Jane as she made fun of me for coming to the rendezvous early. I often come late when she invites me for a meet up. And now, it really look different because I look so eager. I did not know what will be her important thing to say but I guess it is kind of a good news. My system just automatically get excites for no valid reason. I sat in front of her with the round table between us. We were here in a well known restaurant. I asked Jane's order and so we choose nice food that will satisfies us. I tilted my head to her while we were waiting for our order to arrive. It will took minutes, tho. "So, what will be the important thing you will say to me?" She chuckled. "Really? As fast as that? I did not know that you are now interested to what would I say." I slightly rolled my eyes. "Just spill it." "Bro, y
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CHAPTER 53
ASTRALLAINE'S POV "Are you good?" I looked up at Simon when he put bowl of food in the center of the table. He invited me to have dinner with him in a restaurant that was near our place. "Yes," I smiled at him. I just said that because I do not want to talk more about the past. I am done with it. I am already over with it. The things that has happened in the past should never be brought up back. I do not want to remember how I ran away just to get away from the pain that is already trying to kill me. I do not have enough money to go away, but Simon helped me. "Where do you want to go?" Simon asked while I am heaving. I cannot even breathe normally because of the nervousness creeping my whole system. "I... I don't know," I said and looked down. "I just want to get away from here." He pat my shoulders. "Go with me." I l
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CHAPTER 54
ASTRALLAINE'S POV "Congrats, Astra!" I laughed when Simon embraced me with so much joy. "Thanks, man." I tap his shoulders, motioning him to let me go already which he did quickly. "Congrats also." We will be going to celebrate for making the deal successful with our client. We really have planned and practiced more for our presentation because our client was a big time business man and we cannot lose the opportunity to make deal with him. "Let's go. I will treat you," he said. "Maybe later? I am sleepy," I pouted that made him to chuckle. Then, he tousled my hair. "Alright, let's go out later. Rest first. Maybe I will just fetch you at what time?" I looked up to think. "Maybe at seven." He just nodded his head and went off. I entered my room and lied on my bed so I could relax. I did not get enough sleep these past f
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CHAPTER 55
ASTRALLAINE'S POVDo you know the feeling that you are just going with the flow and still decided to live even if the world is too cruel and unfair to you? The feeling that the past days were alright, but you will woke up numb and with hurtful realizations that will slap you hard. That you are in a reality. That your life is not a fiction. I stared at nothingness and could not help but think why do I lose reasons to live. Yes, my life is fine now. But I do feel like something is missing. That I can feel that I am lacking of something that I cannot even explain. A big chapter of my life, or even a climax to reach my ending, yet, I do not know what it really is. I couldn't define it. Yeah, I am already doing so fine. I have my job. My life is stable, but life could not just be perfect for us to be happy. Everything is not perfect. I sipped on the glass of my water and sighed
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CHAPTER 56
After asking the council about the address of my family, I went off to head the place they tell me. It is a very good thing that they have their address, because if not, I will struggle looking for them in just half of a day. I should not stay long because I will goo back to my home as soon as possible. But if I will took long, I will cancel all of my appointments and meetings and move it the next day. This is about my family and they matter the most. Yes, it has been so many years but my love for them never left me. Even if I don't feel them anymore, my heart still wants to be with them. I longed for them. I bit my lower lip as the map says that I am already near their place. I am nervous and excited at the same time. What will be my reaction once my eye gazes at them, anyway? Should I jump in so much joy and ran to them to embrace them? Or, should I cry? Tears of joy? Oh, the latter was so hilarious. I wonder how they
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CHAPTER 57
"Have a snack." I forced a smile at Faye. "Thank you." Since I do not have the appetite to have a snack, I just get the water and drink it. My sisters were here already because Faye called them to go down. I miss them. I automatically embraced them while crying. I cried because of joy that finally, I saw them again. And the other reason of my tears is the thought of my mother passing away. I did not expect it. She has died three years ago but the news did not even reach to me? Why is that? Does Simon know this? If he does, why did not he tell it to me? "How are you?" I asked my sister's and looked at them. They were silent and was like shy to look at me. "We were fine, Astra. We should ask you that. How are you? Are you doing alright? Where do you even live?" Faye faced me. I sighed and shook my head. They see, I am fine. I am asking them because they live here with no parents.
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CHAPTER 58
Upon arriving home, I did not stop the car right in front of the gate of the house because I still saw the car where Jinx went out lately. Faye said that he already left! But why is his car is still there and parking? Is Jinx was inside the house together with my sisters? I sighed heavily. Why am I even trying to avoid that man? That I am afraid that he might saw me again for the first time in years? Why do I still have this feeling that I do not have the guts to face Jinx again? To show myself to him? To look at his face? To look at him in the eye? The mere thought of myself standing in front of him is like making me weak. Like, I came back to my old self where I have nothing but him alone? It feel nostalgic. I shook my head. Why am I still staying here? Do I have plans to lock myself here in my car? To stay here all the time and will just wait for Jinx to get out and go off the
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CHAPTER 59
"Hey, wake up." I opened my eyes when I felt a hand on my shoulders. It was Faye who is trying to wake me up from sleeping. I looked outside the window and automatically rise up upon seeing the dark skies lurking the place. How fast the time flies. It is already evening? "Sorry, what time is it already?" I asked Faye as I stood up and started to stretch my arms. "Six in the evening." Oh, nice. Six is the right time for me to prepare the foods. But why did she wake me up, though? Does she need something? "You need something? Why did you wake me up?" I yawned and started to walk towards the door. "I woke you up because duh? This is Jinx's room for pete's sake." I stopped from walking in shock. I looked at her with my wide eyes. What?! This is Jinx's room?! I thought it was fucking her's?! So, I slept inside his room, an
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CHAPTER 60
Time really flies too fast. When you want it to go slow, and adjust, it will just do the opposite one. And when you want it to fly fast, it will go slow. And the best thing to do is to not expect and think of something that is impossible that will definitely hurt your feelings in no time. Expecting is the thing we should avoid to keep our heart safe from pain. For us not to be disappointed, let us stop imagining things that will never happen. I subtly let out a small and light sigh before I looked up the stars. They were twinkling, and they look so happy the way they shines. Everyone of them were apart, that they have quite far distance. And that just means that we can shine alone. That we all do not have a companion to see the light and be the light. It will be our choice if we chooses to be the source of light to whom who only see darkness. I chewed my food and shook my head. Why am I thinking this? I mean, I am not even sad nor feeling lo
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