I saw how carmen smirked as she slowly walked near me while Blade seems to be statued at his place, quite far from me but it's still enough for me to see every expression that he's making including the fear in his eyes that always crosses his eyes every time Carmen tries to tell me things. I looked at Carmen's eyes and saw anger and concern in it. Is she concern about me? But Blade isn't hurting me so there's no need to worry about it. He's taking a good career of me and making my life the way I never imagined it will be that's why I don't know why this is happening to her. He has hurt me, yes. But that's emotionally and I know he didn't mean that and he would never want that to happen to me again. He just didn't tell me he loves me, he made me feel it, and just like me, the last thing that he wants to give me is pain. How can this precious man hurt me if I'm the one who doesn't deserve how perfect he is? But I still want to know where Carmen is coming from what

"Stay away from me..." I whispered just enough for the both of them to hear because of their enhanced senses as the pool of tears started falling from my eyes like a faucet of misery starting to embrace me when I don't even want to embrace it back and as thoughts and what-ifs started to envelop my mind like a river of sorrow flowing continuously that seems to have no end.  Damn this life! Why do I even need to go through this? Why does pain always love to come right after an ecstatic feeling, and why do I need to suffer just to feel the happiness that I always wanted to stay with me? I guess life is just really meant to be unfair when it comes to me for it to throw every misfortune towards me. It's just that after everything that I've been through I still hold on to the fact that everything will be fine when the time comes. That soon, it will be up to me but It failed me. I was wrong and I shouldn't have expected that in the first place when I know how crue

"What are you doing here?" I almost forgot about what happened yesterday the moment I saw him here. Standing like he knows nothing but is not even surprised why I'm here. I know he knows everything. The news might have blown up already especially that he's the monster's brother. But my question is why the fuck is he here? And why are they together? Do I have to know something or is this just a coincidence? Do I have to be afraid now for seeing him here? Because my guts are telling me that he has a plan and his being here has something to do with what happened yesterday.  I mean, of course, it has but I'm just curious why he found me this early and why Carmen was missing a while ago and showed up with him. Is that a coincidence? No, it isn't. It's obviously planned. I not that dumb for me not to know that. I'm not even assuming things because that's the only reason I can see why he's here. Unless he has a relationship with Carmen. But how? That's impossible.

"Aze... My baby. Glad that you finally decided to forgive me," she exclaimed with an excited voice. She really seems so happy to see me here but I don't feel the same. I don't want to pop her bubbled but I also don't want her to expect anything from me including the hope that we'll still be ok after everything. That's already impossible and I don't what to start talking again or I know that I'll just hurt her. I don't want to cause another pain yet I don't want to push myself to treat her damn right. I don't know how I can do that anymore. I already forgot it the moment I opened my eyes in this cruel world. I don't this that'll still happen so she better stop hoping or expecting anymore. She can't even bribe me just to forget her. I'm not that shallow. I've learned my lesson already and I don't want to tell it to her one by one. I have such a sharp tongue so she better shut up.  "I can't remember telling you that I already forgave you," I said nonchalantly

"Mom..." I called her to get her attention which u did after I decided to go out and talk to her. I don't know how my mood and feeling was changed in just a minute. I didn't even expect that to happen. I thought it'll take me years to forgive him or it may even be impossible already but no... It only took me a minute or two. That's how fragile my heart is. It can easily melt yet it can also break easily and be fixed impossibly. I don't know if I'll call that an advantage or disadvantage. I don't know why I'm still this easy to forgive even though I've been proved wrong by the people I love. I guess this is the part of me that I can never change anymore but I'll still try to or it'll be easy for Blade to play me again like a goddamn toy that can be disposed easy and go back to him when he already wants me again. I'm not that kind of woman. He can never bribe me with something just to give up. Betrayal is the last thing that I wanted to experience yet that's what the world is always g