Lahat ng Kabanata ng So Much, For Love: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

Lizzy While we make our way to the dining room, I spot and a few photo frames scattered around the table and stop to look at them. Markus looks over at me and places a hand at the small of my back, “is that you?” I ask, inspecting a picture of a naked baby with just a single diaper on. “Don’t I look dapper as always?” he wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh “you’re so full of yourself”. As I looked over all the pictures that were so beautifully laid out on the counter top I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at how amazing Markus’s childhood must have been. All of his pictures are of his family laughing together and enjoying their vacation, if only my mom was alive, I could have had it all.  ‘But she’s not’ I tell myself, ‘get it together’ Markus rubs his hand on the small of my and softly says “hey!” I clear my throat before I start to cry and fake a laugh “you know, I’m kind of jealous seeing all these pictures” I say honestly “you’

LizzyTwo fucking days! It’s been two days since we last saw each other, and my nerves are all over the place. I want to trust him, and I do but it’s just a lot more complicated than that, the need to see him every day is too strong. When Wednesday slides by and I don’t get a text from him, I freak out. His office is around ten minutes away from my shop, he’s always been coming to ‘me’ since the beginning of this relationship. I sigh, ‘I need to make the first move this time’ I say to myself and leave my shop around lunch time. I close the security doors and flip the sign board to ‘closed’. I make my way to our favorite Chinese takeout place and carry our parcel while I walk towards his office. I stand there gawking at the pristine building of Markus’s company “Blue Space”, the company logo stands tall at the top of the building, gleaming in the sunlight.The bui

LizzyHis head is still thrown back and his shoulders are relaxed, he looks content. After a few minutes of getting his bearings in check, he looks down at where I’m still kneeling in front of him. His palms hook under my armpit and he pulls me up to sit on his lap, I smile at him while stroking his features lightly with my palm, “okay” I say. He looks at me confused so I elaborate “I’ll go with you for dinner” he grins now and kisses me hard on the mouth. “I want you with me all the fucking time but this is important” Markus says, “I know Markus and I also know how much you love doing your work and how passionate you are about it, so don’t you dare go explaining yourself to me. I love every part of you Markus, including this sexy nerd CEO” he snorts a laugh and I laugh with him “you sure have a way with words, don’t you?” he shakes his head still smiling and mutt

LizzyI don’t move, or rather I can’t move, every muscle in my body turns rigid after seeing his pathetic smug face in front of me. He’s still smiling smugly at me and my reaction towards him, I can feel Markus turn tense beside me but I’m too caught up in my personal hell to look up at him. I have so many things to say to him, so many years of pent-up frustration and so many years wasted just because he wasn’t good enough to me, but right now as I stand in front of him and look at the arrogant man he’s turned into, I want nothing to do with him. I clear my head of all the vicious thoughts I’m having about him and grit my teeth“I. Am. Not. Your. Darling” I glare at him with all the hatred I can muster but he still keeps smiling like a lunatic. I tug at Markus’s arm and wish that he follows me out without making a scene, but of course he doesn’t budge and glares daggers at a man he doesn

LizzyMark dropped me at Golosi and left for the day, well….at least now we’ll be spending more time after his launch party. I sighed and got back to work, to be honest I’m emotionally and physically exhausted after yesterday and I really would love a break from all the working but Golosi is my baby and I can’t abandon it, not now that I have made an impact. Seeing Josh yesterday was a complete nightmare, it’s not his words that make me sad, I’ve dealt with them before, it’s the memories that don’t leave, I wish I had the courage to tell Markus the whole truth but I’m just not ready.Apart from me and Josh, no one knows what went behind, not even Mia. It was one of the weakest moment of my life and although I know Mia wouldn’t judge, it’s hard to be so vulnerable and weak with the one person who thinks I’m too strong. Speaking of Mia, it’s been a while since she told me anyt