Semua Bab Eren: Bab 31 - Bab 40

I had no choice. I had to tell Azure everything. Angered, he even called Toni and Tamarra so that they all give me a lecture. I’m not a kid. They shouldn’t be deciding for me. But I know they are just trying to help. They want me to be happy. But I just can’t refrain myself. It’s stronger than me.   Azure came to see me after he learned that I became a mother. Since that we became close friends. Family instead. He is an amazing buddy. Azure wants me to be happy, to get over Eren and stop mentally damaging myself because of him. He just wants me to move on. He is kinda pushy on matters relating to Eren but he is right. It’s already four years since Eren left me and I still can’t move on. I don’t even know if I will be able to love someone again one day. Azure is still waiting for me. As soon as I will be ready, I will surely try to date him. He deserves it. He does his best to stand by my side and gets along with my son. Like his father, little Eren doesn’t like

The next day after organising my work for next week, I end up watching some makeup tutorial videos on Youtube. It’s Saturday so no work. I want to do something amusing and then when watching those videos, a crazy idea hit me.   I immediately go to the salon where Eren is playing with his cars on the floor.   “Um Eren.” I say and he turns to look at me, his little turquoise eyes sparkling. “Would you like to meet Erena?” I ask sweetly with sheep eyes.   And this is what I did. I turned Eren into Erena. I applied some makeup on his face and put a shoulder-length wig on his head. He looks so cute as a girl, but still he doesn’t look like me. I was searching for a little dress for him in my wardrobe when there is a sudden knock at the main door.   I sigh. “Be right back Erena.” I chuckle before walking out of my room.   “Okie mommy!” Eren says in a girly voice.  

The next day after work, I went to Erden's place with Eren to fetch my car which he has finally repaired. We also finalised the rent of the house after Erden paid me for the first month.   This house officially doesn't belong to me anymore.   My heart aches at that thought. But I prefer not to mourn about this now as Erden is in the same room as me, and I don't want him to question my sad mien.    I've decided to help him to move in so that I can spend some last moments in this house. The abode is now a mess, bunches of cartons scattered everywhere.   Trying to make myself useful, I start to remove the dvds from a box and begin to place them in a drawer of his Tv set. As I do so, one particular dvd catches my attention.    The Vampire Diaries.   I take it in my hand, memories flashing in my head on looking at it. Since the day Eren left, wh

After locking my house securely, I slip the key in my pocket and walk to Erden as he is waiting for me on—   "On Eren's bike." I burst out without thinking.   Great. Your mouth really needs a filter Hayat.   He slides up his tinted visor so that I can see the upper part of his face. The street lamps are casting enough light on his eyes for me to notice the sincerity in them. "I thought it would make you happy to ride on your ex-boyfriend's bike after so many years."   Feeling ashamed, I bite on my tongue guiltily. "T-Thank you."   Erden is just trying to help me. I'm not afraid to start something with him. I know he would make me happy and precisely, Eren. My son loves him so much and I'm sure he will be a good father to him. But I don't know why this is stressing me out. I just don't want to be with him just because he reminds me of Eren, just because he looks like him.

Eren   "Goodbye...Eren."   She turns and walks away. I watch her in despair till my vision becomes blurred with tears. She then disappears completely as my eyes are overflooded.   It's as if somebody just stabbed me in the heart, rending me paralysed. I can't breath, I can't think, I can't live.    My body feels so weak, like my soul just left it. A lump is formed in my throat as I'm about to break into tears. I inhale and exhale several times, searching to control myself but with her gorgeous face in my mind and that of our son, it's unbearable.   Succumbing, I fall down on my knees and finally cry my heart out, tears deluding down my cheeks like a waterfall. I punch the ground once, twice, but the pain in my heart is still here. I punch a couple of times more, but I can't get rid of this ache. Like an injured dog, I howl my heart out in the darkness of thi