Her blonde hair seemed like gold that sparkled in the sun plunged over her shoulders. Her eyes blue like two sapphires, hidden often showing a peek beneath her thick lashes and her lips plump and red that seems blossom soft in a pout.  Delicate ears framed a button nose. A set of dazzling, angel-white teeth gleamed when she smiled. Her body sculpted by the gods gifting her with thick hips her curves that would make any male fall on their knees to have her. This is Theia, her beauty so bright that sometimes I feel the need to cover my eyes from the aura she gives away. I sometimes wonder why some are blessed by the moon goddess and seem to have "perfect" everything, while I wallow in my self-pity breaking apart lying on the ground bleeding and no one seems to notice. No one... including your mate. It's a slow death. It's like you

War. I am at war with myself. While he, my mate tears open my heart day by day with his indulgence with Theia, I cannot seem to find hate for him within me rather just a seed of hope blooming like a flower every day. When her fingertips slide across his chest he's shooting an arrow straight through my ribs. When her lips meet the shell of his ear to whisper sweet nothings he's ripping my skin off my bones and when he smiles at her with that gentle look in his eyes, he has finally left me to die on the cold ground as nothing but a heap of bones. Deimos, my male. Tell me what must I do? Tell me how should I behave? Tell me how to move past the pain you inflict on me. Tell me how can I... survive. I wish to ask him these questions. But how can I when all his eyes do is watch her every moment? How can I when his lips curve into a smile when hers do as well? How can I when his fingers shake

"Pulling a new friend into your life is a form of balance. It's a ripple in the system that is so beautiful a new spirit, new energy. Both are souls combined. When two people complement each other, it is a valuable commodity to the flow of the world. A chain of events that bring happiness to more than just.... new friends. By Sara Sisson." As I read these words aloud all I can think of is Cronus. We have grown quite close over the past few days. I tend to be shy and cautious when I meet new people but with Cronus, I feel different. Different in a good way. I feel like I can be myself with him and that no matter what I do or say he wouldn't hold it against me. While Deimos brings out the strength in me, Cronus brings out the child in me. The pup who is always curious and the pup who just wants a shoulder to lean on.

Today's world is different, when we hurt each other instead of talking it out and healing ourselves we completely ignore the other for nothing else but just to gain their attention. Just for them to look at you, hoping that at night they would lay awake on their beds, thoughts of you consuming them, that at least somehow you could be with them, even though it's just in their thoughts. This is the relationship Deimos and I possess right now. I haven't seen nor spoken to Deimos since our last argument. My body and mind tired, my hope fragile and my soul tearing. If he speaks or does anything hurtful I will definitely break. And even thinking about it makes me gag. I fought through everything for nothing. What I thought would be my strength turned out to be my biggest weakness and downfall. To what I thought would be my prize for my rein turned out to be my hindrance.

Change. Can people change in a small period of time? Can they suddenly turn from ice cold to a soothing warm? To slowly begin to grow your hope like a plant, nurturing and protecting it with care. That's what Deimos seems to be doing to me these days. Like something made him see or change his mind. His eyes follow me everywhere, hands keep reaching for a feel of my skin and nose sniffing for a whiff of my scent. He seems... feels different. Though being an Alpha needs him to be present always in everyday affairs he does his best to at least see me once a day. How can someone go from not wanting to be in my sight for a minute to always searching for me? To always aching to be by my side? However, I haven't been able to see him these days as he seems to be busy preparing for the shindig. I didn't understand the meaning behind it until I