"Is he okay?" I heard a soft voice behind me. Delia. John's mom."What?" I reflexively said, not even listening to her. I was still in some kind of shock. My chest hurt and my stomach was swirlling. My mind and my head was full, as I was trying to cope with this new situation I'm in. That John's in."Is he okay?" Delia repeated her question. Dr.Johnson called me and said John had another seizure." She said as her voice cracked. I sniffed and leaned on my knees. I was sitting outside John's room because I couldn't get a grip out of myself. "Umm, yes." I managed to say. "He is stable now." I said quietly, barely audible."Why is this happening?" Delia asked, sitting beside me. I backed off a bit, reflexively."We are trying to figure it out." I simply said. I was really not in the mood for her. She remained quiet. I was too.We were sitting there, outside of John's room and just waited I guess. For a few minutes that felt like days, one of us finally spoked. "Do you think they will ca

I couldn't get myself together. Why is this so hard? Why is talking to your own mother so fucking hard? It isn't supposed to be that way. Nevertheless, I got what I needed from her. Pro bono surgery.When I came down to Peeds again, Darla was standing with Veronica by her front desk. They were talking. When Darla noticed me, she slowly backed off a little like she was talking with Veronica something I mustn't know. Either they were talking about Mike and me or about my mother. I tried to shook that off. "Where is Mr.Bhat?" I asked her when I came closer. I turned my head to Veronica, she smiled lightly. I think she noticed my pale face and swollen eyes, although she didn't say anything. "In Ada's room." She said quietly. "Come. We have great news to tell them." I said, smiling. Darla's eyes instantly got bigger and there was a big spark in them. That made me genuinely happy. I smiled to her again and nodded my head."Really?!" Darla squeeked like a Tweety bird. I laughed."Really

My hands was still shaking 20 minutes after Ada's surgery. My first 12 hours long surgery was successful. This was a huge thing! I wanted to call Mike but it was 4 am, he was probably sleeping. He didn't even send me a simple text after our fight and that was childish from him but I don't have time to deal with that anymore. I am close to breaking things between us to be honest. I think I came to some kind of border. I will either stay with him forever or I will leave him. When I think about that more, the more I want to end this off and on-going relationship. If I would ever write on a paper 'pro and con' style, there would be a lot of bad things. He is jealous, controlling and he is always hiding something. And always something hideous. He thinks that with his money he can buy love and everything that he misses the most. I have good memories with him too, I would lie if I say differently! But that was like a gram of salt in the ocean. He can be very charming and persuading when it'

I did it again. I gave in. I have managed to disappoint me one more time. How can I be so weak, just how many times I have to hurt myself with what is so wrong yet it feels so damn good?"Sex isn't supposed to be an answer." I said after I buttoned up the last button on my shirt. He was already done."I know." He simply said, repairing his Rolex."So why are we doing that?" I asked, sitting down. "Do what? I want you. Isn't that enough?" He looked at me puzzled. I was stunned by the fact that he doesn't seem to see the real problem is. "No, Mike. Sometimes it's not." I said standing up. Why am I suddenly feel angry? I am to blame here, I let him manipulate me one more time. He just used that so well! "What is your problem Jessica?" He exclaimed. I backed off a little. "What do you want?" He raised his voice. I narrowed my eyes and sighed deeply. To be honest, I don't know what I want. "I want you. But not just sex. I want the whole package! Conversation, going on a trip, go to par

We kept walking until she stopped us in front of the door, right next to John's room. What is her plan? We will easdrop? I hope not! Hannah looked at both directions and slowly opened the door in front of us. I was confused."What are you doing?" I whispered to Hannah, hoping she will hear me. She just smiled and continue with her plan. We entered a patient's room, an old lady seemed to be sleeping. I looked puzzled as I was looking around her room, trying to figure out Hannah's thoughts. Hannah turned over to me and rolled her eyes."This is Elenore. She is in a coma. Come." She said that bluntly, like we do that on our daily basis, like this, whatever this is is normal."Hannah." I exclaimed quietly, yet strongly enough for her to stop. She looked at me again, now confused like I'm the one who's crazy. I couldn't help but smile."She won't hear us, what?!" She asked, opening her arms towards me in isn't-it-obvious way. I shook my head and smiled. I might just let go all my question