CALUMMy smile is permanent. I’ve been smiling since we boarded the plane to Manchester. But the thought of seeing Mum dampens the mood. I look towards Cathy to seek comfort from her but she’s fast asleep. Mace is also asleep in my arms. The boys have the seats behind us and are probably asleep. I can’t seem to sleep. I’m scared of Cathy’s and my reaction to seeing Mum. I’m nervous about her opening act for us. She’s singing one song, an original titled: Pretty angel. I curl a piece of her hair around my finger. Her hair is at shoulder length now. Cathy’s head drops to her shoulder as her snores increase. I stretch my body towards her and tilt her head so the weight is on my shoulder instead of hers. She moans but doesn’t move. Moments later, she mutters something under her breath. She jerks, twisting in her space beside the window. I shake her gently and her eyes flutter open.Fear shadows her features for the first few seconds. I use my free hand to cup her face.“Hey, I’m here,”

“What are you doing?” Calum asks as soon as he enters the room. I shut the colouring book and place it over my phone as he leans down for a kiss to my neck. Mace pulls his father down by his hair, the crayons forgotten. Calum laughs, already lifting his son to kiss him on the cheek. “What was mama doing, Macey?”Mace rattles off some words that elicits laughter from both of us. I dust my knees, pushing myself up from the floor. Mace and I were working on his colouring skills. Calum sits on the edge of the bed and Mace squirms. He lets go of his son as I draw closer to both of them. With my help, Mace stands between Calum’s legs, both of his hands resting on his father’s knees.“We were colouring,” I tell Calum. Calum stares at the mess of colours on the floor and the colouring book I got before we left London. Mace grasp has improved. He can hold a crayon between his fist without breaking it. &ld

Calum has been acting weird since he left me backstage. I want to believe it’s the talk he had with Dani that’s affecting his mood but she’s smiling. Mace too. I join grandma and grandson when Dani waves me over. Calum grins but makes no other attempt to welcome me. There are only two seats in the room. Usually, he would pull me down to his lap but nothing of the sort happens. I squat in front of Dani. Mace pouts. “Hey.” “Hey,” Mace replies. I giggle. I’ll never tire of hearing him speak. My eyes raise in time to meet Dani’s, and she tries to smile. I’ve been pushing Calum to talk to her but I don’t know if I have the heart to do the same. I’m not upset. I’m over it but don’t have the courage to face her.“How do you like the set up?” Dani asks. “Good,” I reply. They wanted to show us around. The boys prac

I did great. Not good, great. And everyone who spotted me after the boys performance has not failed to mention that. The feeling of being appreciated and wanted builds in my chest. I rock on my heels, and my butt juts out in a happy dance. I’m happy. But the happiness dwindles when my eyes locate the phone on the bed. Dad isn’t answering his calls. Mace grabs the edge of his crib, his face registering the excitement missing on mine. He still has the headphones Calum had him wearing throughout their performance. I squat in front of his crib. I should put him to sleep but the nerves coursing through my body make it impossible to act or think straight. It feels like I unleashed the beast inside me going on that stage, and I haven’t figured out a way to keep it quiet. If Calum were here, I would maul him, pass off some of that energy to him through sex or a kiss. “Grandpapa Mace isn’t picking,” I tell Mace. My knees meet the ground, and my arms bracket the sides of his crib. He yawns an

It’s the last day of the Manchester tour. We can spend a few days before leaving. There are mixed reactions to this. I’m excited to move to another city but reluctant to leave all the memories we created here. Calum doesn’t care as long as we are by his side. “What are you thinking?” Calum asks. His lips brush the space between my boobs. Hooded eyes stare at me, causing a flip in my belly. My lips part, but my reply dies on my tongue as his hairy jaw scratches my nipple. I shiver, and he offers me a wicked grin. On some days, like today, I find it impossible to believe this man was a virgin until me. I run my fingers through the mess of his hair. His fingers dip into my warmth, teasing a little to remind me how we spent our night. I’m quickly relearning his taste. Calum is always super hyped after every performance and if I don’t get away from him as fast as possible, we will fuck in whatever space avai