Tattoos done, and I'm feeling good. It was early afternoon when our car finally pulled back into the compound. We had joked the whole way back about Rhett being a coward, adding time on with his breaks. He barely got half his shoulder blade inked and he was a wreck."I'll be telling everyone the Beta Bear is a teddy bear you know, " I joked."I'll be telling everyone you're off the market," he replied with a grin."What do you mean by that," I laughed as we bounced along the cobbles."You know exactly who I mean," he said, rolling his eyes as I merely smiled and rubbed my chin. "Fuck off," I said softly, "I'm this awesome all the time, nothings changed.""Whatever," he said, shaking his head with a chuckle.Rhett hadn’t even switched the engine off before /My chamber, now/ came through from my father. Shit, Kate really must have woken the house up last night because he sounds pissed.Weirdly, Rhett must have got the same memo, shooting me a look of confusion as we shrugged and exited.

Yesterday was still a bit of a blur. I know I attended my classes, but I know I learned nothing. I just tried to block out the chattering mayhem. Everyone had an opinion, everyone thought they had seen something untoward. At least they had the decency to leave me, the betrayed best friend, alone. Kate’s name was on everyone's lips except mine. Matt and Cherry were pretty quiet on the topic, thoughtfully holding hands and staring at their desks most of the day. Thankfully today is Saturday, no classes to worry about. Instead it’s just me lying naked in bed with Felix, my hands tracing lines on his bare chest as he holds me close to him. His double bed is hardly big enough for him, I have to be squashed right next to him. Not a problem when he is on top of me. However trying to sleep and have my own personal space to think, it’s fucking nightmare. His pine sweet scent is cloying, too sweet for me to bear. Weirdly, there were no racy dreams of Dex last night, my mind was placid and

The past couple of days have certainly given me time to think. After standing outside in the chilly early evening air for what felt like forever the wooden doors had finally opened. The tall blonde woman had reappeared, accompanied by a man clad entirely in grey. A long grey button jacket and grey trousers. At his throat shone a large emerald brooch glinting in its gold casement. He was shaved bald, glaring at me like an emperor with his mossy green eyes. Saying nothing, the young woman did all the talking, her hands fluttering nervously. “Come in, please follow me and Alpha Austin will see you soon.” We had walked in single file as she led me down a long corridor. I couldn’t believe the wealth on display as we silently threaded through. Marble floors covered in sumptuous long rolling gold-coloured carpet. Every item of furniture had a golden gilding. It was so over the top. So much wealth in one go made it feel cheap. One clock from a mantlepiece probably contained enough jewels t

Felix and I are struggling. Well, Felix is trying everything he can think and I’m batting them all away. Now the taut, exciting tangled mess of our sex life has withered, what is there left? He offers to listen to me, buys me the most thoughtful presents and tries so hard but I’m numb. “Talk to me Roxie,” he must have said at least a dozen times this week but there’s nothing to say. Instead I take myself to my room more and more often, losing myself in bonfire scents and self-pleasure. I do miss Felix, I miss the warmth of his strong muscles when he holds me close, the feel of his cock inside me, the way he could make me feel safe against anything. The only time I’m feeling anything like myself is when I’m thinking about Alpha Dex, the next steps. So I’ve spent the past couple of weeks keeping a fairly low profile. I’ve not talked to Berlarot since Kate was exiled either, after hearing from Sinead that extra patrols had been added to try and ensure she didn’t come back for vengeanc

The conference is a few days away, over at Luna Madeline’s dingy, misty Foxton Pack and I appear, to the general public, my father and Beta’s to have my shit together. I don’t think so. I’m angry, a deep burning anger that fuels my day and keeps me awake. There’s still no answers to any of my questions. No definite guilt or innocence for Kate, she's still a mystery. The rumour mill has even swung the other way. A girl named Rochelle, the one Kate won her fight against, has been the victim of the whispers. Further adding to my anger, and against my better judgement I find myself at another bonfire party. The same bands, the same flat beer and I’m bored stupid. “Why am I here Rhett?” I said ruefully as he passed me a beer and stroked his blonde beard. “Because Glenn said you would be a massive pussy if you didn’t come?” “That’s true. Where is he then?” “Over there with Clara,” Rhett said, pointing over to the far corner away from the band. Glenn and his girlfriend were talking he