Semua Bab Fear of Loss : Bab 11 - Bab 20

Sunday, January 23, 2022 2:29 p.m.I wake up, look at clock. I jump out of bed.“Oh God.”“Dad must be waiting for me.”How could I forget that dad always celebrates my birthday at restaurant. And dad told me that today we are going to have lunch at restaurant. I quickly get myself ready and go downstairs. I see my dad is waiting in launch. I step into launch and my dad hug me and kiss me on forehead.“Oh darling me and your mom are waiting for you.”Oh God she is also coming. Why she is coming?“Dad please stop calling her my mom.”“She isn’t my mom.”“She can’t be my mom.”“Ever.”I mumble. I look at her.“Happy birthday dear.”“Thanks Olivia”She pass a fake smile. I look at my dad and now he is looking at me disappointed. I know he doesn’t like that. He wants me to accept her as my mom. I know that he is disappointed with me because I don’t call her as mom. And I will never call her mom.“Ready to go?”My dad asks and I nod. We all getting out of home, enter in garage. My da

His car is on the other side of my home. We walk toward car. He opens the front door for me to sit. He sit on driving seat and starts driving. I don’t know where we are going and I really don’t want to ask him. I already allow him to take me where ever he wants. I stare at him while he is driving. I want to admire his features. I want to tell him that his eyes are as deep as ocean. I want to drown in his eyes. I want to tell him that his lips are like honey and he smells like mint.“Are you here?”He asks. I nod and smile. Why he asks that? He looks nervous. I don’t know why. I should ask him. But no. I’m not sure if he wants to talk me about his matters or not. I shouldn’t interfere. But I also want to interfere. I want to tell him that how bad I want to interfere in his life.“I want to blindfold you for a while.”He says. I let his words sink in for a while. Why he wants to do this? I stare at him for a while. He is grabbing a blindfold in his hand. I let him to blindfold me. I don

Yes.I’m.In.Love.I know it’s unbelievable. The people who know me will definitely can’t believe this that I’m in love. Now I’m lying on Masson’s shoulder and feel the peace of his existence.And.Yes.I’mHappy.With.My.Peace.“Emma, this is the best time to know each other.”“Wanna know something about me?”He says. He looks serious. I’m too happy that he wants to tell me about his life, his past and his future plans.“Yeah, if you feel free to share.”I say. He smile and starts running his fingers into my hair. I feel sleepy as today I’m having this much peace for the first time in my life. He takes a deep breath.“So, I’m telling you about my family. We are two brothers. My younger brother is Grayson. My mom dad are separated. Mom lives with us and dad……”He pauses and swallow saliva in his throat. It seems like he doesn’t want to talk about his father. The name of his makes him sad.“It’s okay, I don’t want to know about him.”I say. I can’t see sadness in the most beautiful

Monday, January 24, 2022 2: 22 a.m.We are still waiting in the waiting area of hospital. Olivia is walking here and there in tension. I’m sitting on chair. I’m unable to move from here. I’m stuck here. Olivia is praying loudly for dad. I can’t speak. I can’t pray aloud. I’m just thinking about dad and praying for dad inside.God please.I…. I will never commit sin.Please save my dad.I need him.We need him.The doctor comes out of emergency room. Olivia runs toward doctor but I don’t. I haven’t any energy left to stand up. I don’t know what is happening. I feel something in my stomach.God.Please save dad.My body is shivering. I don’t know what will doctor say. I’m afraid. I’m too much afraid. I can’t listen doctor.Olivia moves behind and is crying hard. Why the hell is she crying? What happens?She.She…. She is crying.Why?No Emma, this isn’t like that. Don’t overthink. Everything will be fine. Dad will bee fine. We will live together. I will accept Olivia. I will a

Three months later: Monday, April 18, 2022 6: 15 a.m. I wake up and watch time and a small yawn passes from my lips. I step out of bed, sit on bed for a while. I get myself ready to run. I wear my running shoes and dress, grab a bottle of water and leave the home. I inhale a fresh air and starts running. I really feel better running in the morning. It fades away all the tiredness, sorrows and pains from my life for some time. It helps me to heal somehow. I enter home after I finished my run. I move toward my room and go to bathroom, brush my teeth. I then take a shower and come out of bathroom. I dry my hair and quickly get ready for the school. I come out of my room and sit on dinning table to have some breakfast. “Good morning.” Olivia says. “Hello, how are you?” I ask. She tells me that she is okay and asks about me. I tell her that I’m good. It’s been three months that I and Olivia have accepted each other but I don’t call her as mom and she doesn’t call me her daugh