Our final night out is a joyous affair, well for most of the group it is. Katie and her friends – Daniel and one of his friends - they’re bursting with excitement about the start of their trip. Dani has spent the evening demanding to know everything about my brother (so far I’ve revealed that he has a crooked tooth, his feet stink, and that he’s lazy, but none of it has put her off). And Scott, completely understandably, is brimming with as much anticipation as the others. If he has second thoughts, he’s not showing it. As for me, I’m making a fair to average job of looking happy. Which is an achievement. Because I feel as though I’m having a bad dream and can’t wake up. I as though I’m parachuting – with a failed parachute and heading for the ground. I feel like crap. Sorry, it’s difficult to be poetic when you feel this bad. “Have some cake, Emma,” Daniel says as he pushes a plate near me. “You d hardly eaten anything.” “Oh, thank you,” I say and take the plate. I make a show

Scott has gone to the local store, just as he always does on his days off. Only this isn’t a normal day off. All his bags are packed and waiting by the door, ready for his departure in two hours. I’m supposed to go to the airport to see him off, but the moment my eyes opened this morning, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t be able to watch him and Katie head off together without bursting into tears and giving the game away. I take a notepad and pen from my bag, and begin writing as quickly as I can. I don’t have long until he returns. ‘Dear Scott, I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go to the airport with you, but if I don’t make visiting hours at 9:00am, I won’t see mum. She needs me right now, more than you need me, after what happened. I know you’ll understand, under the circumstances. Have an amazing trip and please don’t forget about me, will you? I’ll miss you more than I could ever explain. I meant what I said – I want a post card from every destination - don’t

Dani is screaming so loudly that the poor patients at the other end of the corridor must think she is undergoing an amputation without pain relief. “Why didn’t you tell me? For fuck sake!” “I… I .. don’t know,” I stammer. “I didn’t want to compromise your friendship with Katie for a start.” “How?” She asks incredulously. “Katie’s in love with Scott, like you said. Even if I was going to be a total arsehole and try to steal him – which I’m not – what good would come of telling you? It’d just land you with information that you’d be powerless to act on.” “Uhhhhh,” Dani rubs her hands down her face. “What a mess.” “Don’t I know it,” I agree. “I don’t mean about you and Scott,” she tuts impatiently. “Though I grant you, that is also a mess.” “What then?” She sighs and her eyes find the window. “You know when I said that I thought Katie was in love with Scott?” I nod. “I was wrong.” It takes a few seconds for her words to sink in. “What?” “She likes Scott, don’

I try to think of an ingenious way to get through security. But after yet another infuriating conversation with another official, I’m forced to accept that the methods to combat terrorism are also enough to intervene when a unfit, scruffy and desperate woman. With an alarming and increasing level of determination I decide to buy a ticket to somewhere in Asia, just so that I can get through the security gates. But after another episode at the security desk, the fact that my passport is in a box at my new home is clearly a show-stopper. I stand in the airport in a confused daze, and take out my phone. I wanted to do this in person, but now I have no choice. I close my eyes and wait for the line to ring. It goes straight to voicemail. “Oh god,” I cry, but nobody notices. For almost an hour I pace up and down, trying to come up with a brilliant plan. But no matter how I try, nothing happens and no plan is formed. I look at my watch for the millionth time today and see that

The moment I see him I am balled over by how handsome he is, he’s irresistibly, mouth wateringly sexy. I’m looking at a man who, thanks to project Scott, is the ultimate manifestation of female desire. He turns heads wherever he goes. But that isn’t the reason I love him. It’s not the clothes, or the hairstyle, it isn’t even his body or face. The Scott I love is the funny, intelligent, caring, loyal and lovely person I met all those years ago. That’s the Scott I long for, the Scott I can’t spend another day without. The trimmings and display are irrelevant. “Hi there, Emma,” he grins. His grin becomes a smile and it sends a surge of Hope through my veins, turning my legs to jelly and killing my ability to speak. “Are you okay?” “Yes. I … yes,” I stutter. Emotion rushes through me and my heartbeat thuds in my chest, thundering in my ears. “I’m just surprised to see you,” I say once my words find their way back to me. “And… happy?” I nod as tears cloud my vision. “Ve