Lahat ng Kabanata ng Love and Letters (Ari & Sebastian's Story): Kabanata 21 - Kabanata 30
35 Kabanata
21. A Number
I meet Seb in the parking lot, trying to control the giddiness I feel inside. People's gazes are on us, after all, almost tripping over themselves just to catch sight of him and probably thinking about how I don't deserve to be by his side. Seb and me getting together isn't something that I imagined until it happened. If you asked me about it before, I would probably be pretending to dry-heave at the thought. He was my stepbrother, after all. There are all kinds of things that anyone can say about that. I sigh, remembering the conversation that we had about keeping our relationship secret. I've been debating with myself about it overnight. Is this all going to be worth it? Hiding how we feel for each other just to keep other people comfortable? "Hey, you ready?" Seb asks me as I fasten my seatbelt beside me. I thought he would drive away as soon as he closed the door, but suddenly, he grabs me and claims my mouth. I gasp in surprise, but melted almost immediately in his warmth. We k
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22. Shame on you
Seb was my first kiss. I remember it now. We were nine, before our parents married. We were playing a bunch of games that I could not even remember, and clumsy as I was, I fell on him. Our lips touched, and even then we knew what that meant. We immediately broke free from each other, though, as by then Brad had started yelling. He admitted to having a crush on me then and considered what he witnessed a grave betrayal. Seb and I took a long time to get Brad to calm down. And the next morning, Brad decided that he no longer has a crush on me. I giggle quietly at the memory. "What's funny?" Seb asks, raising his head from my chest and kissing it. His eyes are still closed. I clear my throat, "Nothing. Just remembered something funny." I tell him, running my hands through his hair. I love his hair. "You better not be laughing at any of my proposals," he suddenly faces me, his eyes serious, "Speaking of... Arianne Lee, will you..." I laugh, covering his mouth, "No, come on. You pr
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23. Diary #6, The First Entry
"Thank you," I tell Olive as soon as they're able to escape from our friends."You're welcome," Olive says as she washes her hands on the sink beside me. "And sorry about Brit. You know how overprotective she can be. Did you know that she almost scalped Dina when she found out she was talking to Dave?" They smile at each other. Of course, I know. I might have felt the same way about the whole Dina and Dave situation at the start, only I didn't have the kind of guts that Brit has. Sighing, I lean on the wall behind her, studying Olive, "Look, I guess I owe you an apology, too."Olive waves me off, "Come on, we already talked about this. Seb's actions were understandable, he was just thinking logically. Out of all of us in the council, Brit and I are the ones on the outside. Well...us and Victor, who's not around at the moment." "Right...what happened to him? Seb says he's on leave?" "Yeah, something to do with his...br
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24. Diary #6, The Fifty-Seventh Entry
August 21, 2013I was wrong, my mother wasn't losing weight merely because of Lyle. Cancer was eating her up from the inside for months and she only endeavored to tell me now. And now she's telling me to go away."I hate you!" I scream at her, "Are you insane? I'm not going to leave now. He...you know what he's done, Mom, and he threatened to do it to you, too! Do you really think I'm going to leave you here with him? He's going to kill you!" My Mom smiles at me sadly, "Does it matter, Ari? Does it really matter when I'm already there?""Mom, please, don't say that." I plead with her.  "It's true, Ari." she responds, "And you know what? It's freeing, in a way. And that's what I want for you, too. To be free. This is my last gift to you. Not that I...not that I have been thinking of your welfare these past few years. I've only been thinking of myself, huh? Bringing you into this hellhole.
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25. The Full Story
Seb looking at me with pity still haunts my dreams. It's probably stupid of me. I told him I didn't mind him knowing how devastating my life back in LA was, but now that everyone else knows about it. Somehow, it kills me to continue standing by his side. I don't deserve him. "You're spiraling in your head again. I know that look. Stop it." Dina observes from beside me. Yesterday, when my bleak past was revealed to the whole school, I pushed her aside, begging to stay at her house for the weekend. An act of self-preservation on my part, since there's no way I can face Seb right now. And Lucien...Lucien will know something is wrong. "I still don't understand why it's very hard for us to pin this person down." Dina continues. "This is really getting out of hand, Ari. Do you think we should take up Kier's suggestion about a private investigator?" "Maybe," I tell her sadly. I suddenly feel devoid of energy. Dina looks at me seriously fo
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26. A Realization
"Ari." Seb's soft voice brings hot tears to my eyes. Of course, he knows where I am. Even if Dina or Dave hadn't told him. He always knows. "I need to see you. Can I go there, please?" "Seb, I---" I begin, but the words stick in my throat. "I'm sorry but I don't really want to see you right now." I'm still so ashamed about what happened. Last night, I really thought about it, and I am scared for him, too. Who knows what secrets of his will be revealed to the world? Maybe...maybe if I stayed away from him, away from the others, too, the blackmailer won't target them. I even had to file a leave of absence from school just to do exactly that. I hear Seb's sigh on the other line, "Okay..." he says begrudgingly, and I almost smile at the thought that he's pouting right now, "But A, not for long, okay? I miss you. We miss you. You know we do stupid things when you're not around...so once we get all this stuff figured out, you better come back to us. Do you hear me?" I blink, "Wh--what
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27. Stalemate
My hands shake as I pick up the cup of tea that the waitress just gave me. I finally did it. I called the number, and the blackmailer agreed to meet. After telling her of my suspicions and about the number that the blackmailer left me, Dina insisted on coming with me to confront her. I couldn't argue so she's currently sitting just two tables behind me, and I can feel her gaze burning a hole through my back. The bell to the cafe's door rang and I look up nervously, and behind a man in a dark suit entered a woman. I close my eyes, steeling myself. She isn't what I expected but it was close. "Brit." I murmur as she approaches my table, "Don't tell me...are you...?" "Ari?" Brit asks, taking a seat in front of me, her forehead scrunches in confusion, "What are you doing here?" I frown too, "I...um...I was just...what are you doing here?" "This is Olive's family's cafe," Brit replies. Olive. The sound of her name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The moment Dina spelled it all o
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28. A heart to heart
The California air does not burn through my lungs anymore. But then again, it didn't try to do that the entire time I was here. That was only when Cassie died. "Is this really the best idea? To talk to her alone? A, you're smarter than this." Seb says on the other line as I walk through a wide path in the cemetery. Once I've explained everything to Brit, she was calm enough to at least hear us out about what we want to do next. Hours later, and I've landed in California. I sigh, "Do you really think I'm here alone? She says she's staying at the hotel but I know Dina is here somewhere, ready to jump in and rescue me in case anything happens," I reply, almost smiling. Having Dina as a friend is like having a bodyguard. "Yes, and about that. Is it a good idea for Dina to skip classes? Last I heard, she's failing most of her classes due to several absences." Seb says, "You should've taken me or Dave with you, really, any of the guys will do." I sigh, "I know. And I heard you told Lu
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29. Close Again
I know it isn't going to be easy making things right with Olive. Even as she agreed to my plan, she isn't talking to me yet, and only does so when it involves the case against Lyle. I also know that it isn't going to be easy convincing Kier and the others to drop the charges against Olive. So, in order to do that, I had to tell the boys my deepest darkest secret, the truth about my life in California. Feeling like I just ran a marathon, I slump in the sofa of our living room, spent. It's hard for me to remember the things that my mother and I went through living with Lyle, and even harder for me to tell the boys about it. I close my eyes, unable to look any of them in the eye. Beside me, Seb moves, as if he's unable to stop himself from touching me. But I know he wouldn't. He had promised to give me space. Plus, our friends don't know about us yet. I don't know how they will react if they found out that Seb and I were keeping our relationship from them. The silence stretches inside
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30. The Past
"That weekend, in California. I finally visited Mom's grave." Seb's finger stops tracing circles on my thighs. He grips my waist, settling himself on my chest, not saying a word. "I thought I would break down again, but strangely enough, I felt calm." I smile as I recount, "Maybe because I got to talk to Olive before I came to her." "You were probably thinking that everything would be okay." Seb says, smiling at me. I smile back and gave him a peck. His lips are stained red, courtesy of the gloss from my lipstick. His hair a mess and there are scratch marks on his chest. I expect them, of course, we had a pretty intense night. A blush creeps up my face, even as I chuckle at the thought. This. The contentment that I feel with him makes my heart swell. I can stay in this moment forever. "What's funny? Huh? What's funny?" Seb asks, positioning to tickle the sensitive spot in the dip between my waist and hip. I squirm, screeching. "Shhh...Lucien might hear you." I clamp down my m
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