Love and Letters (Ari & Sebastian's Story)

September 3, 2013 I pause and stare at the mess in my bedroom. Man, is it so hard to unpack. My suitcases are on the bed, clothes bursting out of them. My books, which I unearthed from their boxes a while ago, are scattered on the floor along with my school things. I start piling them on top of each other, counting them as I do. A hundred and three books in different sizes, all pertaining to English literature. I wonder if I would be able to use them here at Hector Park High School, where I would be a Freshman this year. Most of its students are Korean or half-Korean like me so I highly doubt they take English Lit that seriously. But that was the least of my worries. What really twists my stomach is the thought of seeing them again. The boys. My childhood friends. I just don't know how they'll react. It's been a long time. Though I miss them, I even wish for them to secretly hope they won't recognize me, if only for my sanity. I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look so dif

Upon learning what happened, they came straight from school, and they come at me all at once in Seb's spacious living room. Simon, the gentlest of us all, immediately wrapped me in a hug. I feel warm and protected for a bit and it makes me smile. That is until Brad, dramatic as ever, wraps me and Simon from behind while he cries, "I'm so sorry for not coming here sooner. You'll be okay, right? Please tell me you'll be okay." Brad's wailing makes Simon struggle, but he can't let go either, because Kier had joined the hug, followed by Cal, who seems disgusted at the thought but did it anyway. Seb is the only one who doesn't join the task of suffocating me, which I appreciate. But he doesn't make any attempts to stop it either. The jerk. "Okay...okay, guys! Enough...I can't...I can't breathe." I say, giving them a pained smile. Besides, I don't deserve it. Three years. I haven't seen my mother for that long. But even as her death becomes more real every minute, I can't bring myself to

"Ready? Let's start. What happens when your friends find out you're nothing but a manipulative bitch? Answer: They'll hate and leave you, of course, one after the other." They're finally going to make their move. The pounding in my heart becomes louder and louder as I stand there, paralyzed. Since I got that first note, I swore to God I'd stop the person who has my diary. But I sat on it too long, too terrified that failed majorly, and now I have to suffer the consequences. "Ari, you okay?" Dina asks me. She wraps her arm around my shoulders, pinning me close to her. Ever since finding out about my mother's death, she hasn't left my side. I should be grateful for her presence, but it only served to worsen my guilt. I told her before she left for Botswana that I have no feelings for Dave anymore, but after seeing him again yesterday, I realize I am still far from getting over him. "Yeah, just...tired." I was inconsolable last night. Once it finally hits me that my mother is gone,

I try not to get lost in his voice, just like I always do. But I can't help myself. I close my eyes, taking deep breaths. At the back of my mind, I find Dina. Dina, who's genuinely good. Dina, the girl Dave loves. Not me. It was never me. "Ari. Please say something." Dave's voice becomes loud enough to pull me back to reality, "You're going to Lucien's party this weekend, right? I know that with everything going on, you would want to be alone. But remember your promise." I sigh. How can I forget? After finding out about the letters, the boys make me promise over and over again to not shut them out from now on and let them keep me safe. And that apparently includes 24/7 surveillance where I have to be with one of them at all times. The first step? I have to move in with Lucien and Seb. That's why I'm standing in the middle of my old room now, feeling like I've just stepped into a time machine. The room's changed ever since I used it years ago, of course, but somehow it still feels t

Kate Crawford comes at me with everything that she has. Her hands grip both sides of my head, taking a bunch of my curls in them, and her nails scrape my face as she let out a guttural scream. I stagger back at the surprise attack, almost losing my balance. "Kate! What the hell?!" I protest. "How dare you! I had nothing to do with those letters. Why would you tell Brandon Oh that I sent them?!" Kate yells at me, practically frothing at the mouth. "What the hell are you talking about?!" I ask her, still trying to defend myself from her attacks. What the hell is going on? Finding my chance, I wrap my hands around her wrists, stalling her move to slap me. Damn it. This is why Olive tried to stop me from going into the bathroom. "Okay, Kate, just...calm down. I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about. What did Brad do?" I ask Kate. She hiccups and suddenly, Kate becomes limp and starts to cry. I just stand there, still holding her wrists, not knowing what to do. "I know y