"Avezedo is probably going to trash-talk me since I've missed so much of his class," I say as I wash the dishes. Breakfast was some scrambled eggs with cheese and sausages. Along with buttered toast and some jam."You'll just have to deal with it," says Dane as he dries the plates I hand him."I'd rather not," I remark. But I smile at Dane. He leans in for a quick peck and lays his hand on my ribcage. That spot seems to be somewhere we both like him to have his hand on. I like it because it makes me feel so safe, and Dane apparently likes it for some reason he hasn't told me. I'll ask him later."Well, we better get going," says Dane as he pulls away from the kiss."Okay," I say with a sigh. I walk out the kitchen with him and to the foyer where I left my stuff. My backpack as well as his sit crumpled on the ground slightly. I reach down and grab both. Turning to Dane, I hand him his."Thanks," he says. We walk out and head over to the car. The early October day is cool, and just a hi

After school, I walk with Dane to the parking lot. It's still raining. Great."We can run for it?" suggests Dane."I guess so," I say.My clothes didn't dry, so I ended up staying in my gym clothes. Securing my backpack, I nod to Dane, and we run across the parking lot to the car. The rainy water splashes and hits us as we do. Other kids run around and a few times we almost run into other running teens.But we make it. Dane fumbles with the key for a second before he unlocks the car and we hop it."Whew. That was wild," says Dane."Yeah," I say as I push back a lock of wet hair out of my eyes."I guess it's good that you're coming to my house, huh?" he says as he starts the engine."Do you have two showers?" I ask."Yeah. We can both get cleaned at the same time," he says as we pull out the parking lot."That's good. I wouldn't want to make you wait," I say."I would make you go first," he says with a grin."You wouldn't be able to," I say."I could pick you up and bathe you myself,"

"You really can't stay today?" asks Dane as he walks with me to his car. "No. I need to get back to my apartment and check in on it," I reply. "I could wait until you finished checking in? It wouldn't take more than a couple of minutes, right?" says Dane, his brows knitted together. "No. It would take a while. I need to be thorough," I say. "But couldn't I spend the night then? I can go and grab some clothes and sleep in your living room or something," says Dane desperately. Turning to look at him, I see that he's really upset that I'm spending the night at my apartment. It's Sunday, and I told him that I would need to go back. It's only one day, or one night really, but Dane is more than reluctant to let me go back to my apartment. His whole body language shows his feelings. Not that they're not present in his voice. His whole body is leaning forward, and his palms face me. And not to mention how he's very close to me. Even though he's always close to me. "It

Can't you just say sorry? The question they ask again and again like a broken machine. Or the audio they play at fares. When you sit by one of the rides for so long that the recorded voice is familiar to you like your shadow. They ask it again. And again. And again. I wish it would stop. But not really. Talking helps to not think of him. Only a little. But it's more than what I can ask for. For now, I can only pretend that I don't feel guilt for what I've done. I've never felt it before. But I want it to stop. Almost as if a chain were around my neck and dangling into my hollow chest, it holds me down. Not nicely. I want it to stop. Sitting at the mall's food court, I look at the table blankly. Pike sits with me as the other three go and buy whatever. He tries to make conversation, but I'm too short to keep it alive. But that's natural. I'm a killer. Harboring life isn't in my nature. Mentally or physically. "How is art?" asks Pike. I look up from staring at the table and lo

Maybe I will go to school. I have been thinking about it. After I went shopping two nights ago, I've started to leave my apartment more. I haven't gone to school, but I've gone out. A small step to closure. I do eat too. A little. It's more than the previous amounts. I've at least stopped losing weight. But I'm not gaining any either. I guess it's good. But I still feel sad inside. Less from before, but still numb. Walking from my bedroom to my kitchen, I pull out a bowl and make some oatmeal. I usually eat this for breakfast and lunch. And dinner is usually some bread I toast with jam. Sometimes I go out and eat at one of the restaurants in my neighborhood. I thought of what Sean said. He said to find closure, and move on. After thinking about it for a while, I made a rough plan of what I could do in the future. After I turn eighteen in December, I intend to leave Lonewood. Reverting back to my original plan. Maybe I'll travel around and find a place I can be. In some island