The Luna and her Quadruplet Pups のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 181 - チャプター 190

JaneWhen the pups are finally asleep, I slip out of their room, closing the door at my back and leaning against it. My knees feel weak and shaky, and I’m thankful for the solid wood at my back keeping me upright. I clench my eyes shut, trying to take deep breaths and calm down.That was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had as a mother. Not because it was particularly contentious or fraught, but simply because it upsets me to no end to think my pups have been taking the responsibility for my sadness onto themselves. I haven’t been doing my job. I’ve been so caught up in my own grief that I didn’t even realize I was hurting my babies, making them stressed and anxious. Instead of taking care of them, they’ve been trying to take care of me.When I finally open my eyes again, I realize that Ethan is standing in the hallway, watching me. My heart sinks – as if he needed more reasons to think I’m an unfit mother – I’m sure he overheard our entire conversation.“Please don’t.” I b

JaneMy heart sinks when I hear Paisley’s question, and I realize that Ethan was right about telling them together – not only for the sake of setting a good example for them, but because I didn’t anticipate this particular question. It will be easier to break the bad news with him beside me, so that all the blame doesn’t fall on my shoulders this time.It breaks my heart that they’re still asking this, though it’s not surprising. They might be growing up fast, but they’re still so little. It’s going to take a very long time and lots of repetition for them to understand – as much as any child can understand being separated from their parents.“No sweetheart.” Ethan murmurs gently. “In the new year you’re going to go home with your Mommy, just like we planned.”I watch their faces as they absorb this news, hating inflicting pain on them but knowing there’s no other way around it. Riley, Ryder and Parker drop their gazes to their laps, hiding their disappointment from us. Paisley, on the

EthanThe moment I saw Devon, I was struck with a terrible idea. The most wonderful, terrible idea. Jane might not be up to date in pack politics, but I know the Alpha of the Dark Moon pack just retired his Beta before the holidays, and if the word on the street is correct, Devon will be his replacement.I’ve been counting on Matthew to keep an eye on me and help train my successor – once I find one – but I still haven’t come across a solution for giving Jane and my pups a worthy father figure. However if Devon is going to be in the Dark Moon pack, then he could be the answer to those my problems. I wouldn’t have to worry about them so much if I knew Devon was there, and even if he isn’t still in love with Jane, it will only be a matter of time before he falls again – only an idiot wouldn’t love Jane.My wolf is growling furiously at this idea, jealousy bubbling up inside us like a toxic tidal wave of green-eyed fu

JaneAs I consider Devon’s question, I’m inundated with memories of Eric. Unlike Devon, I’d always known Eric wanted to be more than just friends, and I’d considered dating him more than once. I thought he would be a safe partner because he’d never be able to hurt me the way Ethan did, and though I later learned the basis of our friendship was I lie, ultimately I’d been right. I was angry about his betrayal and angry at myself for trusting him, but it didn’t break my heart.I don’t want to give Ethan the power to influence my decisions for the rest of my life, but it’s hard not feel wary of romance after everything I’ve been through with him. “I hate to say it Devon, but I don’t think I see romance in my future at all. With anyone.” I finally reply, feeling ashamed of my own cowardice, yet also completely trapped by it.“Oh Jane, don’t say that.” Devon replies, sounding truly pained by the idea. Though I don’t think his pain is for his own dashed hopes, but to hear me speaking so cyni

3rd PersonPaisley huddled behind Riley, Ryder and Parker, a deep frown tugging on her young features.When the pups woke from their nap, they initially jumped out of bed to rush out and see their parents, but the sounds of tense voices stopped them short. Indulging their Goddess-given talents for eavesdropping, the pups listened as Ethan insulted Jane and confirmed he didn’t want to be a father. Of course, Paisley knew the truth behind these lies. She knew her father was pushing away Jane and his children for their own good, but her siblings did not.“I don’t unders’and.” Parker whispered, looking thunderstruck. “Mommy said it was her ‘cision to leave Daddy.”“Why is he being so mean?” Riley whimpered in reply.Paisley kept her mouth tightly shut. She might know her father’s motivations, but she didn’t find it any easier to hear him speak that way than her brothers and sister