But he doesn't stop. Obvious. And a big part of me wants him to continue, because a big part of me misses him so much. Very much so. I turn around slowly and I can already smell the strong scent of drink, but I can still smell the perfume so strongly. I look down, because I feel too ashamed to look up, to look into his eyes, because I know I'll completely surrender and all the months I've tried to distance myself from him and treat him in the worst possible way will be in vain."Look at me," he says. "Look at me, Lukman. I am totally yours.""I can't." I say. "I can't touch you and I don't want to, you should leave.""I'm not leaving until you finally look at me," he whispers, bringing his hand to my cheek. "Please..."Lanton kisses me lightly on the neck, giving me more and more goosebumps. I'm still unable to look into his eyes even now, my heart is racing and I don't know how much longer I can bear it, his presence is too intense and I loved letting myself be taken by him in every

I am tying the shoelace of my shoe as I try to think about how I should approach Daud months after making it clear almost every day that I had no interest in approaching him at all, on the pretext of gaining some trust. Devi told me how I should start by acting, so that I wouldn't look weird, awkward or any word that would refer to that."I have no idea how to do that, to be honest," I tell myself as I look at my reflection. The worst part of all of this is that I will have to deal with Lanton a lot more now than ever before.Just thinking about what happened last Saturday makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It just means I'll have to treat him with some respect? Maybe I'll even have to smile at him, which will be a nuisance. As a matter of fact, Lanton left the house on Sunday morning and by the time I went to bed at night, he still hadn't arrived.I didn't worry - or at least I tried to - but I admit that when I got to the car and saw Devi inside and no sign of Lant

I didn't see Lanton today. Did I mention it bothers me too much? I didn't, right? Yeah, it bothers me. I've been looking for him all day, and I found people who said that yes, he came to school today, but for some reason, I haven't seen a shadow of him. Haris also told me that he has already seen him today after the apology and that made me irritated for the rest of the day. Haris and I have lunch together and I let him get into this fantasy that we are now dating because I thought sneaking a few kisses would make me a little less thoughtful, but it was the opposite.While I kiss Haris in the empty music room. The end of the hour has hit and technically Devi should be waiting for me by now, but I decide to make her wait another ten minutes. Haris places me on a shelf and now I am feeling his tongue in my mouth. It's good, in general, I mean, he knows what he's doing, that's very obvious. But he's in a real hurry and it doesn't take long before he's lifting my shirt out of my trousers