I am tying the shoelace of my shoe as I try to think about how I should approach Daud months after making it clear almost every day that I had no interest in approaching him at all, on the pretext of gaining some trust. Devi told me how I should start by acting, so that I wouldn't look weird, awkward or any word that would refer to that."I have no idea how to do that, to be honest," I tell myself as I look at my reflection. The worst part of all of this is that I will have to deal with Lanton a lot more now than ever before.Just thinking about what happened last Saturday makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It just means I'll have to treat him with some respect? Maybe I'll even have to smile at him, which will be a nuisance. As a matter of fact, Lanton left the house on Sunday morning and by the time I went to bed at night, he still hadn't arrived.I didn't worry - or at least I tried to - but I admit that when I got to the car and saw Devi inside and no sign of Lant
I had a class with Lanton today but I didn't see a shadow of him and I found out that this bothers me a lot. I can't concentrate properly in class because it bothers me that he just decided suddenly that he's not going to be after me like he always was. What happened to the speech that he would always love me? Was it false? Did he decide that he's not going to love me anymore or did it really happen?I know better than anyone that this feeling doesn't happen overnight, so I also know that his feelings didn't change from Saturday to Sunday, because it's impossible to happen. Now it's up to me to find out why he decided to avoid me just when I really need to get along with him.I manage to escape from the lab class by hiding in the bathroom that is right in front of the library door. As soon as the librarian leaves, I go in, looking for her among the several corridors of shelves there. And it's a really big place, with two floors and Devi is on the last one, leaning against the wall, wi
I didn't see Lanton today. Did I mention it bothers me too much? I didn't, right? Yeah, it bothers me. I've been looking for him all day, and I found people who said that yes, he came to school today, but for some reason, I haven't seen a shadow of him. Haris also told me that he has already seen him today after the apology and that made me irritated for the rest of the day. Haris and I have lunch together and I let him get into this fantasy that we are now dating because I thought sneaking a few kisses would make me a little less thoughtful, but it was the opposite.While I kiss Haris in the empty music room. The end of the hour has hit and technically Devi should be waiting for me by now, but I decide to make her wait another ten minutes. Haris places me on a shelf and now I am feeling his tongue in my mouth. It's good, in general, I mean, he knows what he's doing, that's very obvious. But he's in a real hurry and it doesn't take long before he's lifting my shirt out of my trousers
I am at home. I've been staring at a glass full of water on the kitchen counter for at least forty minutes. Lanton hasn't come home yet and I'm still thinking about how I ran away from Haris today when he tried to give me a treat. But I couldn't do anything when the image of my ex-boyfriend popped into my mind, or rather invaded my mind right at that most inopportune moment.I think I'm completely fucked now. I knew I would have trouble dealing with him, but it seems my feelings get stronger every day. In the end, I conclude that Lanton being away now might be good for both of us, since I have much more important things to think about. I read absolutely nothing of that stupid book because I believe that being in the middle will give me more knowledge. Dinner is already on the table and everyone is going downstairs for lunch; Devi comes with the phone in his hand and Mum goes towards Daud's office, knocking on the door and telling him that dinner is on the table.It's a daily ritual fo
I find myself walking back and forth and I can't accept this. The wedding is crowded with people, including many friends of Dita, my dear mother, but she doesn't care about the fact that there are about thirty gangsters at the ready, guns in hand, in case some enemy of Duad Lestari ends up wanting to invade the party and decides to kill everyone there. "Could you at least pretend to be happy with your mother?" my friend Aris asks, but I just frown at her. There is nothing happy about this ceremony, at least for me."How can I pretend when Daud Lestari's "security guards" are carrying automatic machine guns less than ten meters away from me?""It's your mother's wedding, Luk," she tries to say, trying to keep me calm, "and you've barely spoken to her.""She knows exactly what she's getting into, and she knows exactly how I feel about it."She's happy, Lukman!"She's wrong, Aris. There's no way you can be happy marrying a mobster, the guy is accused of trafficking, for God's sake!"I t
I wanted to skip breakfast, but it was impossible to sneak out of the Lestari mansion because there are mobsters everywhere with their machine guns. And I spent part of the night trying to figure out where they were staying, if any of them could end up leaving the post, but they don't even blink when they are on alert. Which is all the time.I heard that Daud made the head of the Maurino family, Joni Segundo, very angry recently, which left the whole family in a very annoying situation. Can you imagine, going to live in a house that could be invaded at any moment? Well, maybe not so much, because I heard Devi explaining to Mom - who was not at all scared about all this shit - that his men cannot come and go as they please through that region, because the whole East belongs to the Lestari Family. And I didn't want to admit it, but I felt calmer after I heard this.I try to curl up as much as I can inside my newest room - which is twice as big as the old apartment I lived in with my mo
I always admired Rivach Academy when I drove by to see Lanton. It is huge, as far as the eye can see, the best school in the entire state, with students coming from all over the country and the world. I always imagined what it would be like to study there, but I am not so excited now that I am here."Do you want me to help you get to class?" Lanton asks as he stands next to me."I don't need anything coming from you," I reply snidely. He lowers his sunglasses a little and says to me:"I'm not giving up on you, Luk. Never," the bastard winks at me. What an audacious bastard!"My name is Lukman!" I yell as he walks away, some people are already looking at me funny and that's the last thing I want for myself.Imagine that: I arrive on the first day of class already screaming, people judge me like never before, and the last thing I need is for people to classify me as weird on the first day of class. Devi is in a different pole of the academy, since she is still in seventh grade, while La
Lanton's friends led him away when the bell rang. I watched him go with my eyes and at no time did he look back, which was good, in a way. But I was a little worried, after all, was he really serious about going out and saying she was a Lestari? Was he really about to say that he was a Lestari?Damn, his life was going to end right there. Okay, okay, I'm really pissed off with him, but I didn't know if he was really willing to end his life that way. He was probably bluffing and I fell for his exploits once again."Hey, Luk!"I look at the door to the room and it is my newest friend, Haris, who is there to pick me up, just as he had promised earlier to me. He is smiling and waving and in a few minutes, we are already walking down the school hallway."In the east side are the laboratories, in the south side are the normal classrooms, like ours. The workshops are on the west side, it's pretty easy, you can't get lost. Usually the first year is on the first floor, the second year is on th