บททั้งหมดของ SWEET DEBAUCHERY: AN M/M COLLEGE, CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE: บทที่ 41 - บทที่ 50

CALEBThe first snow of the season dusts the University of Delaware campus on a Tuesday morning in mid-December, turning the brick pathways slick and treacherous. I watch it fall through the tall windows of Morris Library, where I've claimed the same corner table for over a wek—far enough from the main study areas to avoid casual conversation, close enough to the vending machines that I remember to eat something every few hours.My statistics textbook lies open in front of me, covered in highlighter marks and cramped handwriting. The molecular structures blur together after staring at them for six hours straight, but I force myself to keep reading. Finals start Monday. Five days to prove I can hold my life together long enough to pass my classes."Are you planning on living in the library?"I look up to find Vanya sliding into the chair across from me, her winter coat still dusted with snow. She's carrying two coffee cups from the campus Starbucks, and she slides one across the table

TONYThe knocking on my bedroom door starts soft, then gets increasingly aggressive until it sounds like Vanya's about to break the thing down. I roll over and squint at my phone. Seven in the morning. Of course."What?" I call out, my voice still rough with sleep."Tony, get up. The heater's dead and it's freezing in here."I pull the covers over my head. "Call maintenance.""I don’t have the number."With a groan, I drag myself out of bed and open the door. Vanya's standing there in an oversized sweatshirt and fuzzy socks, her arms wrapped around herself. Her nose is red from the cold, and I can see her breath in the hallway."Jesus, it is cold," I say, stepping back to let her in. My room's warmer since it faces south and gets more sun, but not by much.She immediately dives under my covers, curling up like a cat. "I swear to God, if I die of hypothermia, I'm haunting this place forever."I grab a hoodie from my closet and pull it on. "Want me to make coffee? Might help warm you up

CALEB The Mercedes glides to a stop in front of what can only be described as a mini mansion, and I feel my breath catch in my throat. Vanya wasn’t bluffing. We've just come up a winding drive that curves through towering pine trees, and as we rounded the final bend, the house revealed itself like something from a movie. This sprawling stone and shingle structure that seems to grow right out of the rocky Maine coastline. It's got to be at least three stories, with dormers and bay windows and what looks like a wraparound porch that faces the water. The whole thing is nestled among towering pine trees that sway gently in the salt-tinged breeze. The air is crisp and clean, as I step out of the car, carrying the scent of pine needles and something floral from the gardens that seem to surround the property. There are roses, even in December, somehow still blooming in protected beds near the house, and the smell mixes with the harbor air to create something almost intoxicating. I

CALEBThe evening stretches on, a strange blend of forced politeness and underlying tension. I watch as Brooke, Ham, and Blake finally start talking about leaving, their excitement for the secluded cabin trip overriding any lingering awkwardness. They exchange air kisses and promises to text, their expensive cars rumbling to life in the driveway before finally pulling away.Tony, Luke, Vanya, and I are the only ones left. Tony and Luke, though, are in their own world. They're on the big couch, close together. Tony's hand rests on Luke's leg, his thumb drawing slow circles. Luke leans his head toward Tony, a soft smile on his face, and they keep looking at each other in long, private ways. Sometimes, Tony whispers something I can't hear, and Luke's laugh is quiet and soft, a sound just for them. Once, Tony's fingers go into Luke's hair, pulling him in for a quick, gentle kiss that's barely there, but clear to see. It's a quiet, strong closeness, and it makes my chest feel tight and unc

TONY (CHRISTMAS EVE)The house smells like pine garlands and Rose's cinnamon rolls baking in the oven. Christmas Eve morning has that particular quiet to it, the kind that makes you feel like the world is holding its breath. I'm at the coffee machine, fumbling with the filters because my hands are still shaky from last night. Caleb wanders into the kitchen, still wearing yesterday's clothes. His hair is messy and he looks like he's slept about as well as I have. The pole room upstairs feels like it happened to someone else, but seeing him brings it all back."Morning," he says, grabbing a mug from the cabinet. His voice is careful, neutral."Hey." I keep my eyes on the coffee maker. In daylight, last night feels complicated in ways I don't want to think about. Luke will be here soon, and I have no idea how to act normal.I wish Caleb would give me a little bit of space to process what happened last night. Whatever that was.Just then, the front door bursts open. "Tony? You up?" Luke'