Lahat ng Kabanata ng When loving you meant losing me: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

The drive back home stretched longer than expected—every minute dragged out longer than the last. I stared out of the window, the city passing by in a blur, memories of our time together flooded my mind.He had told me to wear his shirt back home—he loved how it looked on me. I listened without protesting. When the Uber he ordered arrived, I didn't want to go back home but I had to leave—his cousin was returning home soon.Jayden’s shirt clung to my body, it was a reminder of what we’d shared. But it was more than just a piece of clothing to me—it felt safe.I slumped against the car seat—staring out the window absent-minded. The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air, warm and familiar, clinging to the shirt like it was taunting me. Every time the wind brushed against my skin, it felt like his touch again—soft, lingering.I step into the building, my eyes scanning the building. I hesitated in the hallway, steps slowing as I glanced around. If Ava saw me like this, she would

The morning sun filtered through the curtains softly—but it didn’t warm me. My body moved lazily, but my heart was in a mess.The weight of what happened yesterday still beared down on me. I dragged myself out of bed, changed into something decent, and grabbed my bag and file. Outside, the world continued like nothing had happened but I felt like I was still in a void—an emotional wreck. Classes had already started rounding up because of the exams. I sprint towards my department to catch up with submission of assignment. My head throbbed. My mind wandered. I had other assignments to submit, presentation to prepare for, and—of course—my final research paper to finalize. It seemed like my world was coming to an end. My phone which was my only support to type was going bad and really fast. After class, I went straight to my supervisor’s office. The paper was already a patchwork of sleepless nights and last-minute edits. I had made over a thousand corrections since the semester began

Jayden was within eyeshot, pacing up and down the block. His brows were furrowed in concentration, his phone glued to his hand. He was having a hard time transferring last batch of result transfers from his old department. He’d told me before about the whole drama—how he switched his major from physics after nearly losing his mind, how he did it without telling his father, and how that had spiraled into one of their worst fights. He eventually moved out of the house. Jayden was headstrong—he always did what he believed in, even when it hurt. Except with me. I was his soft spot, his exception— I suppose. Bianca and I sat on the stairs, laughing about something silly. I hadn’t told her Jayden and I were dating yet, but judging by the look she gave me whenever his name popped up on my screen, I could tell she had already put two and two together. Bianca was observant but respectful—never asked more than I was ready to give. We chatted about school, the pressure, and our different

I woke up to a message about a practical class. It had been scheduled earlier, but I’d completely forgotten. My chest tightened. I wanted to crash back into bed. It was a week before exams and everything felt like a blur. I needed time—to study, to breathe, to think.I called Jayden. He said he’d seen the schedule and would be in school.Dragging myself to the wardrobe, I shoved fabrics aside like they were obstacles in my way, searching frantically for my lab coat. I found it—crumpled in the laundry basket, smelling like sweat. I held it up, stared at it, then sighed. I didn’t even hesitate. I opened my sister’s side. She had two. One was clean.Relief washed over me.I tossed it into my bag, then rummaged through my bookshelf, scooping up notes, extra papers, and a pencil. My stomach growled. There was no way I was facing a practical class on an empty stomach. I had leftover sauce. I parboiled spaghetti and ate quickly, checking the time every two minutes like it might disappear.By

I had the weekend to prepare for exams. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I had to stop seeing Jayden for a while. We’d been spending so much time together—doing the things we both enjoyed, things I maybe enjoyed a little too much—and even though my body still tingled at the memory of our last weekend together, I knew I needed to focus. No distractions. Just me, my books, and maybe a little caffeine to keep me from collapsing halfway through.The thought of having a carryover in my final year was terrifying. My dad would probably kill me—or maybe not literally, but close. Things were tight at home, and he was already doing more than he could afford to make sure I stayed in school. I couldn’t let any of his efforts go to waste. All I’d ever wanted was to make my parents proud. They went through a lot every single day just to keep me going, and the guilt of knowing that weighed heavier than any textbook I had to read. Our school fees had been increased by ten percent that semester—j