Lahat ng Kabanata ng Fuel Me, Break Me, Love Me: Kabanata 51 - Kabanata 60

RejenaI sit at the river, my feet in the water as I watch my dogs run through the water, chasing each other. I have been coming here every morning for the last four days, taking the same route that leads to the same place. The girls left two days ago, wanting to support their men. Tiane was willing to stay behind, but I had told her to go as she is as much a fan of the sport as the rest of us. I wanted her to have fun, not stay behind with me while I contemplated my life.At first, I had wanted to go to the race, but when Thursday came around, I grabbed the leeches instead of my bag waiting in the corner of the guest room. When the girls were calling me non-stop to find out where I was, I was at the river, telling them to go on without me. I just couldn’t make myself go, couldn’t make myself face him, not when I wasn’t truly sure where his heart was. I know what everyone is telling me, know through his action before the terrible night, that he had feelings for me, but I can’t imagine

RejenaI wanted to stay, wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how proud of him I am, but I fled, like a coward. The second he crossed the finish line, I was heading for Mila’s car. I sat there for a good hour, contemplating if I should go back inside or if I should head straight to my dogs and hold them instead.I end up driving to the hotel and spend another hour pacing up and down in my room, wondering if I should try to get some sleep, go to the party, or just get back in the car and drive. It is nearly eight in the evening when my door bursts open and I stop pacing, facing him. Dalon is breathing hard in the doorway, looking like he was ready to go hunt me down and at the same time surprised to see me standing in my hotel room, probably looking like a mess. I can’t even count how many times I had run my hands through my hair or pulled at it. The concealer has been washed off, leaving the dark rings exposed.“You’re still here.” He says, stunned. He takes a step into the

RejenaI have left everything to be here. Not just for him, but for myself as well, and this dinner with his parents will be the biggest test of all. If his parents don’t approve of me, we will be over. It is not just the fact that his parents have strict rules, but also the fact that they have funded his entire career. Racing is his life and without their support, it will be a big knock on his team’s funding as well as his support system and with the sport that he is in and the amount of pressure he has, the support is paramount to his success. Add in the fact that it will be an even bigger media scandal if his parents that have been at nearly every race, always there to shout from the sidelines, suddenly step back and withdraw their funding. I will be blamed for his career going down the drain and it will put strain on our relationship. Not that there is any relationship just yet, but I know it is only a matter of time before I let all my walls down and let him in again. The make ou

RejenaThanks to whatever pain pills Dalon gave me last night, I slept way past dawn. I wake up to the sound of chatter outside my door, and I try to listen to what is being said, but from bed, I can’t make out the voices. I slowly get up and walk on my tip toes to the door, hoping they don’t stop talking.“What are you planning on doing with my fagilia?” Mila’s stern voice asks and I suck in a breath, not because she sounds like a stern mother, but because she just called me her daughter and even though I love my birth mother with all my heart and would never want to replace her as she has been my rock through the hardest times I had been through, Mila has taken a place in my heart and I do see her as my Italian mother of a sort.“I plan on making her happy, is that enough for you Mila?” Dalon asks, not sounding angry, but calm, as if he is speaking to a scared kitten that he is trying to win over.“You forget that I was the one that held her those days after you left. I saw her tear

RejenaToday is media day, and I am nervous as hell because Dalon has requested that we walk in together, hand in hand as an official couple. Today, we are going public with our relationship, no longer just two friends, but a couple that is making a statement. After the dinner with his parents last night, you would think this would be a breeze, but I am more nervous about facing the public than I would like to admit. It is not that I am afraid of what they will say about me, but more afraid that this might affect Dalon’s race than my mental health.“How comfortable were our dogs with flying?” Dalon asks as we walk through security, probably trying to distract me. I loosen my death grip on his hand and focus on his face. His smile is radiant, his eyes practically lighting up with happiness. I make him happy by simply being here and the fact that he has his eyes only on me even as the crowd around us calls his name, makes me breathe easier.“They did all right on the trip to Italy. I am