Lahat ng Kabanata ng Fuel Me, Break Me, Love Me: Kabanata 31 - Kabanata 40

DalonI am pissed at Mario for bringing up Collen. I told him everything that had happened that few days that he wasn’t with me in Italy, but I never imagined he would bring it up to her. The worse part is that he did it in front of all the other drivers. She didn’t deserve that and he knows he fucked up big time. I trusted him with that information, and he spilled it for the whole grid as if opening her wounds for strangers to dig at was the best move he could make. Idiot.When Jena declared that he was dead, as Mario didn’t bother to give more information other than announcing that she had a fiancé, Caleb practically flinched. He knows what is like to lose someone, not that he has lost a girlfriend or a fiancé, but he has lost his father, his guardian, one of his best friends. He knows the pain and seeing her pain after the disgusted way he had looked at her when he thought that she was cheating on her fiancé by finding comfort in my arms, made him feel instantly like shite.“Fuck,

RejenaWhat did I do last night? I mean, I know exactly what I did. My punishment for being drunk is that I can remember every stupid thing I do when I get drunk. I can remember feeling like I am on top of the world with the way Dalon was looking at me. I can remember thinking that I was going to throw caution to the wind and ask him to kiss me. And he didn’t disappoint, not one bit. Then I went and fucking rode him like a horny teenager that just couldn’t help herself. Who does that? And worse part, I passed out. I must have because after the orgasm, I felt a wave of exhaustion and then it all went black.Dalon isn’t in my bed, which must mean I had probably scared him off for good. I am so freaken stupid. We were both drunk, and maybe I can pretend like I can’t remember what happened. Will I even be able to look him in the eyes? What was I thinking? What is it about Dalon that has me acting fifteen years younger than I am? I mean the last time that I even had an orgasm through simpl

RejenaMy nerves are fried as I make my way into the office two hours earlier as requested. The lights are already on, which in unusual for me as I am always the first one at work and more often than not, the last one to leave. Dan is already sitting in his office, focused on something on his laptop. I softly knock on his door when I walk in and he looks up startled, until he sees me. He looks tired, like he had a really long week, even though it is only Wednesday.“Hi Dan.” I greet him, my chest hurting as anxiety claws at me. I have tried to think of every possible thing that I could’ve done wrong to warrant a reason to be called into the office before anyone else can show up for the day.“Jena, you came.” He says, almost as if he didn’t expect me to show up.“Yes, well you did request for me to be here.” I remind him. He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. This is not going to be an easy conversation. What the hell did I do wrong? Is it the leave that I took so soon after my trip

RejenaI feel mortified. I never should’ve opened my big mouth. Just because I enjoy the sport, doesn’t mean that I have any right to speak up and question their strategies. They are professionals and they have been doing this for years. Why do I have to be such a know it all? Why can’t I just bite my tongue and let the men do the talking?“Jena, would you mind coming to my office?” Brian asks as everyone starts to leave the meeting room. I nod my head, not quite sure why he would want me in his office. I suddenly feel like I am back at work, ready to face Dan with a lot of uncertainty. Me and my big mouth! So stupid of me to think I know better than the professionals. I follow Brian as he makes his way out of the cockpit and towards the paddocks where I am assuming his office is. Dalon and Oliver aren’t far behind us, but they are both keeping their distance, talking softly behind me. I really need Dalon at my side to ell me that I didn’t just screw shit up for him, but he seems to b

RejenaA hometown race is one of the most important races to any driver, and today, I am standing in the grandstands of the Qatar Airways British Grand Prix, where Dalon will be second on the grid for his home race. The tension is high, the air around static with everyone waiting to see if Dalon will be able to overtake Michael that is in pole position.It is still a few hours before the race starts, and I wanted to see what it would be like to be in the majority crowd. Cut out boards of the three hometown favorites or everywhere you turn. Some with memes, some are their faces enlarged. Unlike the VIP area, it feels alive here, like no one needs to pretend to be calm and collected for the cameras. The energy is wild, free and full of hope. It is load enough that you can’t hear yourself think.“Hey, aren’t you Dalon’s girl?” Some girl with bleached blonde hair and pretty green eyes that are highlighted by dark eyeliner and extended lashes, asks. She has a crop top Mclaren shirt on, one