005

JESSICA

I woke up in Liam’s bed.

The first thing I noticed was the cold. Not just the sheets, but the air around me. That quiet, echoing silence that practically screamed, You’re alone.

My fingers instinctively reached for him, still half asleep, but they only met a mess of wrinkled cotton and leftover body heat.

He was gone.

And the crazy part? I wasn’t confused. Not even a little. I was… disappointed.

“Fuck you, Liam,” I muttered, flopping onto my back with a groan. My body ached in that too-much-fun, too-much-feeling kind of way. Thighs sore. Heart sore.

I blinked at the ceiling, trying to shake off the hazy mess of last night.

The sound of his voice, the way his hands moved like he already knew me. I didn’t even try to smile. That would’ve required hope. Or closure. Or something I clearly wasn’t getting.

I sat up slowly, wincing. My hair was a tangled mess. The sunlight filtering in through his curtains made everything feel exposed.

His scent still hung in the air… fresh and clean, like cedarwood and something warm. I hated that it still did things to my chest. Stupid scent. Stupid man.

Dragging myself to the bathroom, I made a point not to look in the mirror.

I didn’t need to see the girl staring back at me.

God.

I turned on the tap, splashed cold water on my face, and stared at the sink instead. I looked like someone who gave too much and got too little. Again.

I touched my collarbone, remembering where he kissed me, where he whispered things into my skin that sounded an awful lot like forever. But they weren’t. Not even close.

I cleaned up quickly. Numbly. No note on the nightstand. No text. Not even a shitty emoji.

I grabbed my keys with shaky fingers, locked the door behind me, and stood there for a second just listening to the click echo through the hallway.

Outside, the world was washed in pale gold. That dreamy kind of early morning light that made everything look soft and romantic—even heartbreak.

I slid into the driver’s seat, hands cold on the steering wheel, and just sat there.

“What the hell was I thinking?” I said to no one.

And God, it felt stupid hearing it out loud.

The roads were quiet, still waking up, like the city hadn’t had its coffee yet. Meanwhile, my brain was in full-blown chaos.

I blinked fast, willing the tears away, but one still slid down my cheek. I wiped it off like it annoyed me, which it did. I wasn’t supposed to care. I wasn’t supposed to feel like this.

His voice from last night replayed in my head, low and rough against my neck. “You’re mine tonight.”

And like the world’s biggest idiot, I said, “Then take me.” And he did. In every way.

But daylight has a way of making all the pretty lies look ugly.

I gripped the wheel tighter. Even after the way he left me, I still wanted to turn around. Still wanted to ask him what it meant. If he felt anything.

But I didn’t. I kept driving.

I pulled up in front of Ava’s building before I even realized where I was.

My best friend’s room was a warm little box of safety, where there was always coffee and someone to call bullshit on my worst decisions.

She’d take one look at me and know everything.

I stayed in the car for a second. Breathing. Swallowing the lump in my throat. Trying to reassemble whatever pieces of myself I hadn’t left in Liam’s bed.

And then, I laughed. Quietly. Brokenly. Like someone who knew the punchline of the world’s worst joke.

I wiped away one last tear, shoved it all down as best I could, and reached for the door handle.

“Come on, Jess,” I whispered. “Get it together.”

I stepped out of the car, into the morning chill, and walked toward the only place I knew wouldn’t ask me to explain.

I knocked once, then again, already blinking back tears. My knuckles felt numb against the wood. I didn’t even know what I was doing there.

Ava’s door creaked open, and there she stood… half-asleep, hair wild, T-shirt twisted on one shoulder.

“You look like hell,” she muttered, squinting at me. “Come in.”

I didn’t say anything. Just brushed past her and collapsed face-down onto her bed like I was trying to disappear. Everything in me ached. My legs. My chest. My heart most of all.

“Jess…” Ava’s voice softened. I felt the bed dip beside me, her hand rubbing small circles on my back. “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t answer right away. The words were there, they just got stuck somewhere between my throat and my shame. After a minute, I mumbled into the pillow, “I slept with him.”

Silence. It stretched like a rubber band ready to snap.

Ava froze behind me. “Wait…what?”

I turned my face to the side, voice shaky. “Liam.”

Her eyes widened. “Jess, what the fuck? Liam?”

I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. My face was hot and damp from the crying I didn’t even realize I’d started.

Ava blinked hard like she was trying to process. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” I said, sitting up. “I was just… there. He was hurting. And I couldn’t walk away. He looked so... broken, Ava. Like his whole world had just crumbled, and I—I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could’ve left,” she said softly, but not unkindly.

“I know,” I whispered. “But I didn’t.”

Pieces of last night came back in flashes.

 “It wasn’t planned,” I said, eyes downcast. “It just… happened.”

Ava stood now, pacing. Hands in her hair. “Did he say anything? Like, did he confess his undying love or something? Did he say he missed you?”

I shook my head. “No. Nothing like that. Just… pain. That’s all I saw in his eyes.”

She groaned, frustrated. “Jess.”

“I know,” I said again. “I know, okay?”

I didn’t need her to say it. I’d already said it to myself a hundred times between his cold sheets and the empty morning silence.

The tears came harder then. I hugged my knees to my chest and tried not to fall apart, but it was too late. I was already crumbling.

“I love him, Ava,” I said through a shaky breath. “God, I love him so much it hurts.”

Her shoulders sagged, and she walked back to me slowly. She didn’t say anything at first. Just sat beside me and pulled me close. Her arms wrapped around me tight.

“You always have,” she murmured into my hair. “Since high school.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No.” Her voice was soft and gentle. “Just… hopeful. Maybe too hopeful.”

I let out a laugh that sounded more like a cry. “I feel like I sold my soul last night.”

“You didn’t.” She kissed the side of my head. “You’re not the villain here. You’re just a girl who loves a boy who doesn’t know what he wants.”

I clung to her like she was the only thing anchoring me.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand.

I pulled away to check it, wiping under my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie.

One message.

From Liam.

Can we meet?

My heart skipped.

That was it. Four words. No explanation. No apology. Just… can we meet?

“What is it?” Ava asked, peering at my face.

I handed her the phone.

She read the message and raised a brow. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you gonna do?”

I looked at her, my eyes still glassy. My voice came out in a whisper. “He wants to talk.”

Ava stared at me for a beat, then stood, hands on her hips.

“Well,” she said gently, “then go talk, Jess.”

I hesitated.

She walked over and brushed my hair behind my ear like I was fragile. “But please…” Her voice cracked just a little. “Don’t go breaking again.”