All Chapters of Zechorah's Funniest Nine Days To New year: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

I turned my head and faced the leafless trees that used to blow healthy leaves during the rainy season. The trees were bare and looked like crazy clowns. Their branches looked unhealthy and starving like those kids of the early nineteenth century suffering from kwashiorkor.Oh! And speaking of clowns,I would love to attend this year's evening party held downtown. The party was always full of celebration and fun. I could even get the chance to meet my friends from school.A smile escaped from my lips and a hearty chuckle followed. I limped playfully in the snow. My boot was almost invisible. Well, last night was soooo cold because we experienced a rather busty snow storm. My mind was occupied with how this Xmas would be like.Busty! That's what Iyvonne calls it.Mom always yelled at her,saying that it was bad language for a Christian home like ours. Iyvonne always protested that it was just an exclamation.“And I don't want that exclamation in my house young lady!” I mimicked my mom

Josh definitely laughed at that sarcastic statement Pete made. Mom just smiled. Everyone's used to these two. Iyvonne and Pete are one kind of rivals you can't separate when they are fighting. So we allow it to subsidize before intervening.Iyvonne looked provoked by Pete's dragonistic words.“Dad can cook well,Mr Marshalls can cook, uncle Gabriel can cook, old Mr Winters can cook. Pete you are the only little man I have ever seen that can't cook anything, not even hot water without pouring it on people. You rather drag food with me forgetting that it's ladies and then gentlemen.”“Absolutely!” Grandpa nodded, supporting Iyvonne.“Daaad!” Mom whispered in a bid to stop him from adding fuel to fire.Pete wanted to outsmart Iyv by eating the pasta in their grip but Iyv caught his hand midway and shoved the fork back into the plate. She glared at Pete,her long lashes flipping over like a hand fan.“Ok ok kids, please let's not start this again. This is Christmas and you both just returne

After the cashier check our stuff,she requested for payment. Mom turned to grandpa for his card because he had insisted he would pay so I don't think mom actually came with her card today. Grandpa fumbled with the pocket in his coat and gave the cashier what was supposed to be his bank card.The cashier's face distorted in confusion as she mopped at whatever was in her hand.“Excuse me Sir but this isn't a bank card.” She said and showed grandpa what he thought was a his bank card. My breath hitched as I mopped at the card in the lady's hand. I swear everyone in the line up…up to twenty people waiting to pay for their goods saw it. I just hoped my eyes weren't deceiving me.That wasn't any bank card,it was a voters card.Heavens!Mom quickly apologized and asked grandpa to bring out his card. We all waited as grandpa fought with his coat for a while. It was just as if the time suddenly stopped moving and our heartbeats resounded in our ears slowly like a warning signal. We truly praye

When we arrived at the church,the service was already going on. We all settled down and joined in singing and dancing until the pastor walked to the altar to preach.The sermon started off good and exciting but to a point, aunt Caroline wasn't finding it great at all. We all could tell. She was so uncomfortable on her seat, dabbing her neck and face with a piece of cloth, blinking her eyes rapidly.The pastor was talking about the proverbial woman. He was giving examples of good women in the Bible who didn't adorn themselves with jewelries, makeups and expensive perfumes but with good characters and modesty. Men were nodding and slowly sneaking a glance at their wives with smiles on their faces,when their gaze locked with their husband's, they rolled their eyes and looked away. The pastor continued his sermon, hammering on makeup and expensive dressings of women.We were all following the service. When I slowly turned to look at aunt Caroline,she was all red with anger. It was all wri

Throughout the rest of the day we all stayed indoors because of the snowy weather. Around four in the evening, Pete, Iyvonne and I were beginning to get bored so we devised a back plan and snuck out of the house through the back door to go build a snow man. Trust me,it was really fun. After building our snowman,we noticed that something was missing.A nose!The snowman had no nose. I snuck back into the house through the back door and into the kitchen stole three carrots mom had bought for the next day's food preparation and ran back to our hideout. I was so careful to avoid being seen. Finally, our snowman had a nose. We were happy and played with it. Iyvonne took pictures of it. As the fun went on, Pete suddenly and mistakenly bumped into the snowman and everything fell in a twinkle of an eye. Iyvonne glared at him, “ why did you ruin it?” “It wasn't intentional!” Pete replied as he dusted off snow flakes from his body.Iyvonne rolled her eyes and walked away, going back to the ho