Lahat ng Kabanata ng Mated to Three princes: And I hate it: Kabanata 51 - Kabanata 60

I'm in the nursery organizing baby clothes when Damon walks in."We need to talk," he says.I don't look up. "About?""You know about what." He closes the door. "Is it me?"My hands freeze on a tiny onesie. "What?""When you choose. Is it me? Am I the one you're keeping?""Damon, I don't know yet.""You must have some idea. Some instinct. Something." He comes closer. "Just tell me. Do I have a real chance or am I fooling myself?"I set down the clothes. Turn to face him. "I love you. You know I do.""That's not what I asked.""It's the only answer I have.""It's not enough." His jaw tightens. "I need to know if preparing for this is pointless. If I should just accept I'm losing and start planning for exile.""I haven't decided anything.""Then decide. Right now. Look at me and tell me if you're going to choose me.""I can't do that.""Why not?""Because I don't know!" My voice rises. "I don't know, okay? I love all three of you. I don't know how to pick.""Then pick the smart choice.

Caius doesn't take me anywhere special.Just the library. His library. The private one."This is where I'm most myself," he explains. "Where I don't have to pretend. Don't have to perform. Just be."Books surround us. Thousands of them. His research. His escape. His truth."Sit," he says. Points to the chair I sat in months ago. "I want to tell you something. Something I've never told anyone."I sit. Wait.He paces. Unusual for him. Caius doesn't pace. Doesn't show nerves. But today he does."I don't know who I am," he says finally. "I've spent thirty-two years pretending. Being what everyone needed. The perfect prince. The strategic brother. The controlled one. But underneath I'm lost. Have been since the day they told me I was adopted.""Caius.""Let me finish. Please." He stops. Looks at me. "I thought finding out changed everything. Thought it explained why I never fit. Why I always felt separate. Different. But it didn't. Just made it worse. Because now I know I'm pretending. Wea

I wake to the sound of drawers opening.Damon's at his dresser. Pulling out clothes. Folding them. Putting them in a bag."What are you doing?" I ask.He doesn't turn around. "Packing. Just in case.""Just in case what?""Just in case you don't choose me. Just in case I'm the one who has to leave." His hands still. "Three days. Then you decide. I need to be ready."My stomach drops. "You're giving up?""I'm being practical. One of us has to be." He goes back to packing. "If I'm chosen, great. This was unnecessary. If I'm not, I'll already be prepared. No last-minute scrambling. No emotional goodbyes while trying to gather belongings.""This is insane.""This is survival." He closes one bag. Opens another. "The others are probably doing the same thing. We'd be stupid not to."I get up. Go to Kieran's room. His door is open.He's packing too. Slower. More carelessly. Just throwing things in a bag."You too?" I ask from the doorway.He looks up. Smiles. Sad. "Yeah. Me too. Can't pretend

The pain is everywhere.Not just my chest. My whole body. Like every nerve is on fire."What's happening?" Damon's hands on me. "Sage, what's wrong?""The bonds. They're breaking. Now. Not tomorrow. Now."Through the connections I feel it. The fourth bond. The one centered on Mira. It's not just weakening. It's shattering."Get the healer!" Kieran's already running.Caius is at my side. Checking my pulse. My breathing. "How bad is the pain?""Ten. Eleven. I can't. Can't breathe through it."Another wave hits. Worse. I scream.In the nursery Mira starts crying. Not normal crying. Screaming. Like she feels it too."The baby," I gasp. "Get the baby."Damon runs. Returns with Mira. The second she's in my arms the pain eases. Just slightly. Enough to breathe."She's the anchor," Caius says. "Being close helps. But it's not enough. The bonds are still failing."The healer rushes in. Takes one look. Goes pale."How long?" she asks."Just started. Maybe five minutes ago.""You don't have unti

Forty minutes pass.I'm still holding Mira. Still trying to decide. Still completely lost.Choose and lose two. Or gamble and possibly lose everything.My mother chose neither. Let herself break. Killed everyone.I can't do that. Can't let fear win. Can't destroy everyone through inaction.So what do I do?I look at Mira. Really look. She's so small. So helpless. So trusting.If I choose, she lives. Grows up. Becomes someone. Maybe wonders about the fathers she lost. Maybe resents me for choosing. But she lives.If I gamble, seventy percent chance she dies right here. Right now. In my arms. Because I was too selfish to accept loss. Too desperate to save everyone.That's the real question. Am I choosing for her? Or for me?Do I want to save everyone for her sake? Or because I can't handle the guilt of choosing?I don't know. Can't tell where my needs end and hers begin.The door opens. Caius."Your hour's almost up," he says. "Have you decided?""No. Yes. I don't know."He sits beside