جميع فصول : الفصل -الفصل 80

Their bodies are still warm when the healer covers them.I can't stop staring. Can't look away. Can't process what just happened.Two people. Dead. Because of us. Because we saved them first. Because we were stupid enough to damage our bonds.Because we played hero and they paid the price."Sage." Damon's hand on my shoulder. "We need to move. We need to get out of here.""No.""Sage, please.""I said no. I'm not leaving them. Not yet."The bonds are perfect now. Strong. Whole. Healed. I can feel all three of them clearly. Like nothing ever happened.Like we didn't just murder two people to fix our mistake."It wasn't murder," Caius says quietly. Reading my thoughts through the bond. "They chose. They wanted this.""They chose because we put them in that position. We saved them just to kill them three weeks later. How is that not murder?""It's sacrifice. There's a difference.""Is there? They're still dead. We're still alive. That's all that matters."Kieran kneels beside me. "We did

Three months since Lissa and Thomas died.Three months of sleeping in the same bed without touching.Three months of perfect bonds and zero intimacy.We're broken in ways that have nothing to do with magic."You haven't touched me in months," I say one night. To all of them.Silence."Is it because of the guilt? Because you blame me? Because you can't look at me without seeing them?""No," Damon says immediately. "That's not it.""Then what? Because we sleep together. We live together. We parent together. But we don't touch. We don't connect. We're roommates with bonds."Kieran sits up. "I didn't think you wanted to be touched. You've been grieving. Distant. I didn't want to push.""I've been waiting for one of you to reach for me. To show me you still want me. That the bonds aren't just obligation.""They're not obligation," Caius says quietly. "They're everything. But I didn't know how to bridge the gap. Didn't know if you'd want me after everything.""I always want you. All of you.

Twelve weeks pregnant.The morning sickness finally stops. I can eat breakfast without wanting to die."This is amazing," I say, actually enjoying toast. "I forgot what food tastes like.""You look better," Damon observes. "More color in your face.""I feel better. Almost human again."Mira climbs into my lap. Pats my slightly rounded stomach. "Are the babies bigger?""A little bit. They're growing every day.""Can I feel them kick?""Not yet, baby. They're still too small. In a few more weeks maybe.""That's too long!""Everything is too long when you're three."That afternoon we have an appointment with the healer. Routine checkup.She examines me. Listens to the babies' heartbeats with her magical instruments.Goes quiet.Too quiet."What?" I ask immediately. "What's wrong?""One of the heartbeats is weaker than the other."My blood runs cold. "Which one?""The girl. Lyanna. Her heartbeat is there but faint. Slower than it should be.""What does that mean?""It could mean nothing.

Twenty-seven weeks.Third trimester officially starts."How are you feeling?" everyone keeps asking."Like a whale. A very tired, very uncomfortable whale.""That's normal," the healer says at my weekly checkup."Everything is 'normal' according to you. I could be dying and you'd say it's normal.""You're not dying. You're entering the home stretch. These next ten to thirteen weeks are the hardest but most important.""Joy."She checks both babies. Both measuring well. Both active. Both healthy."They're running out of room in there. You'll feel more uncomfortable as they grow.""I'm already uncomfortable.""It gets worse before it gets better.""Why did I agree to this again?""Because you love babies. And your mates are very persuasive."Fair points.At twenty-eight weeks, walking becomes difficult.Everything hurts. My back. My hips. My feet. Everything."I need a break," I announce after making it from the bedroom to the sitting room. "That was exhausting.""You walked twenty feet

Hour one of labor.Contractions every five minutes. Uncomfortable but manageable."This isn't so bad," I say."It gets worse," the healer warns."Why would you tell me that?""Because you should know what's coming."Hour two.Contractions every four minutes. Getting stronger. Harder to talk through."Okay. This is worse.""It'll get worse still.""Stop saying that!"Mira is with the Queen Mother. Safely away from the chaos about to happen."I want to help!" she'd insisted."You can help by being good for Grandmother. The best help.""Fine. But I want to meet them first. Before anyone else.""Deal."Hour three.Contractions every three minutes. I'm walking. Pacing. Can't sit still."You're doing great," Kieran encourages."I'm dying. There's a difference.""You're not dying.""Tell my body that."The healer checks me. "Six centimeters. Progressing well. Keep moving.""Keep moving? I can barely stand.""Movement helps. Keeps things progressing."So I walk. And walk. And walk.Damon on o