Handsome,This is probably the last time I'd get to call you that. I couldn't text or call you to say this, so I'm writing it instead.I'm sorry.I know you probably won't understand why I'm doing this. I don't fully understand it myself.The past months has been harder than I've let you see. I thought I was getting better. I thought if I went back to normal, kept busy, smiled and laughed when I was supposed to, eventually everything would stop hurting. But it hasn't. And lately, I've started feeling like I'm standing beside my own life instead of actually living it.You keep telling me that we're okay. That losing our baby didn't change us. That what the doctors said doesn't change the future we imagined.I want to believe you. I really do.But every time you talk about our future, I find myself wondering whether I'm enough to be part of it anymore. I hate that I've started thinking that way. I hate even more that I haven't known how to tell you.You have been patient with me. You ha
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