I think of Marcus, his hands on mine, his eyes in mine, his voice saying "I love you," his patience, his stubbornness, his way of never giving up, never leaving, never letting me fall even when I flee him, even when I push him away, even when I do everything to make him hate me enough to leave me alone.I think of my children, their laughter, their hugs, their eyes looking at me as if I were the most wonderful person in the world, their little hands grabbing mine, their little voices saying "Mommy," everything that ties me to life, everything that keeps me from sinking completely into this void, this cold, this absence.I think of Viviane, my real mother, this woman I have never known, this woman who is alive somewhere, who may have looked for me, who may be waiting for me, who may think of me every day, every hour, every minu
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