All Chapters of Sixty Shades Of Ice: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

51 Chapters

First kiss

Nikolai“Hey… Niko…”“Niko… can you hear me?” Someone tapped my cheeks.It was still all muffled and blurred, as my eyes were deeply fixated on him.My pretty boy.His eyes were equally on mine.“I think I am probably seeing things,” I muttered to myself.“I think he hit his head hard or something, coach!” someone screamed.And fuck them, because I am perfectly fine.I blinked. Hard. And that’s when I saw it.Nathaniel. My pretty boy who hurriedly made his way through the rows.No. No. NoThe world tilted sideways, the ringing in my skull ignored, the pain in my knees forgotten. As the only thing that mattered in my fucked up head was getting to him.I scrambled up, skates screeching against the ice, helmet nearly falling off, stick clattering behind me. I tore it off, helmet off, gloves flying. Everything be damned. Nothing mattered but him.“Little fucker, you think you can fucking run from me?” Reaching the concrete floor, I removed my skates.“Hey man, what the fuck is wrong with

Mixed Feelings

NathanielI shouldn’t have come here.I knew it was a big mistake.But I did anyway……And now his lips were on mine.My brain stopped working the second it happened.Everything just froze.The cold night, the rough metal of the car digging into my back, the distant hum of traffic… it all faded. The only thing I could feel was him.Nikolai.His hands on my face. Firm. Warm. Like he was afraid I’d disappear if he let go.My heart was beating so fast it hurt.What am I doing?I should push him away.I should say something.I should…But I didn’t.My fingers curled slightly against his chest, gripping his shirt without even realizing it. His warmth seeped through the fabric, grounding me and unmaking me at the same time.This is wrong.This is so wrong.But then he kissed me again.Softer.Slower.And something inside me cracked.A small, broken sound slipped from my throat before I could stop it, my lips moving, hesitant, unsure, but moving against his.I kissed him back.God.The moment

Disagreement

NikolaiFuck him.And his stupid straight dude nonsense.What’s so bad about being gay? I’m open about my sexuality, and did I hide it?No.But maybe someday.But my point still remains that liking a guy isn’t a sin, and I refuse to allow him to be shackled by the shady norms and mentality which society is trying to impose on us.I will fucking crush and crumple his prim and proper walls, and fucking make him not so straight.Anger gushed through my veins.“Fuck you, Nathaniel Lockwood! Because I’m going to turn you so fucking gay that you’re going to fucking lose your mind!” I screamed.Yeah, that’s right.I think I fucking found my purpose in life.It is to make Nathaniel realize and come to terms with his sexuality.Yeah, I’m so fucking smart.“Nathaniel Lockwood, huh?” The familiarity of the voice instantly had my jaw tighten.Liam strolled out from the dark corner of the parking lot.His hand stuck in his pocket. “The name sounds familiar. Isn’t he the boy who almost fucked my bu

Misconception

NathanielI’m not fucking gay, and I fucking know that.I know that I’m not attracted to men one bit.I have always liked girls.My previous girlfriend back at home, Mia, she was almost fucking perfect until we broke up.So why the fuck was he trying so hard to bend me into his nonsense?What part of I’m not fucking gay doesn’t he understand?You know who I blame?I blame the student tutor program which refused to transfer me to another student. If not, I wouldn’t have been dealing with such a brute and emotionally unstable person.“Ahhh!!!!” I pulled at my hair, feeling utterly frustrated.The cab driver gave me a look which spelled ‘what a weirdo.’I exhaled sharply, dropping my hand back to my lap. My knee bounced restlessly as the city lights blurred past the window.This is stupid.He’s stupid.Everything about this is fucking stupid.I pressed my head back against the seat, closing my eyes, but the moment I did, his face flashed through my mind.That smirk.That confidence.The

Too Complicated

NikolaiFucking Serpents and their stupid mansion.Pushing the paper to my nose, I dragged deeply, feeling the substance altering my brain function and slipping this slow euphoric feeling through my system.For a second, everything dulled.The noise.The thoughts.Him.I exhaled slowly, my head tipping back against the couch as the music around me pulsed louder, heavier, like it was vibrating through my bones.Bodies moved everywhere.Heads wrapped in plaster bags, blood oozing from their necks.Maybe I should pummel some fuckers and soil my hands with blood. It always helps.But I already had a feeling that it wasn’t going to work tonight, and the drugs were doing the bare minimum to the voices in my head.Stupid Nathaniel and his stupid straight guy nonsense.I don’t give a shit about him, and maybe I’ll personally hand him over to Liam myself and have his well constructed life damaged.Well, his life is that perfect. I mean, he had such a whore mother.Maybe if I kill her and get h

Too pretty for this mess

NathanielI tossed again, again, for what felt like the fourth time.Groaning as I was badly uncomfortable.It was probably the heaviness pressing against my lower abdomen, somehow restricting my breathing.I furrowed my brows.What’s pressing against my stomach?Roughly, I dragged my hand over my abdomen. I tapped on it, and strangely, I felt something.Or someone?Immediately, my eyes shot open as sleep quickly vaporized from my body.The sight in front of me made my throat tighten, my breath hitching as it came faster, uneven.“Nikolai…?”He was half sprawled across me, his head resting against my stomach like he belonged there. His arm was loosely draped over my waist, fingers barely gripping my shirt like he had run out of strength halfway through.My heart slammed hard against my ribs.“What the hell…” I whispered, my voice dry.For a second, I didn’t move.Was this some horrible nightmare? Him appearing in my dreams to torture me? Was this what was happening?My throat tightene

Morning Atmosphere

NikolaiShit!Shit!My head fucking hurts, with my brain cells fucking fighting to tear themselves apart.I dragged a hand down my face, where everything fucking hurt in all the wrong places. Opening my eyes, I was met with a very not so unfamiliar ceiling.I blinked, pushing myself up slowly, my head throbbing, screaming in protest.Fuck me sideways.I was met with a mythical scene of Nathaniel sleeping, his body curled at the foot of the bed.My throat went dry.Mentally, I told myself not to do anything stupid.Don’t fucking do anything stupid, Niko.And that was when it came to my honorable notice that I was in his bed, and when I touched my face, my bruises had bandages on them.Holy cunt!Did he…Did he take care of me? Clean my wounds? And tuck me in his bed?Well, that damn sure seems like what happened.And though I told myself not to…I crawled out of the bed, and like the freak psychopath people label me as, I dropped to my knees, coming face to face with his sleeping figur

Rejection

Nathaniel“I want you to be mine.”My throat quickly dried up.And my heart did that thing again from last night, fluttering with a giggling feeling which I refuse to name.He leaned closer, covering up my breathing space with his, thought it was somehow suffocating, breathing up all his essence.He placed a hand below my ear, and the other on my waist.“Please baby.”Him pleading shot something straight up in my chest.My throat bubbled down with hardness.“Nikolai,” I whispered.His thumb brushed my face, “I know you’re straight and you don’t do guys, and this gay thing is new and probably scary for you, but I promise I’m going to be with you all the way baby.”I couldn’t respond.I didn’t know what to say.“Just let me take the lead okay? We are going to take it step by step and if it gets too overwhelming and choking, I promise I will step back.”“Nikolai…” I tried again, but my voice came out weaker than I intended.He didn’t move away.If anything, he leaned in closer.Like he w

Lovers of Gay community

NikolaiI tugged at the tie for what felt like the sixth time.Hardness clamped my jaw, with the suffocating feeling eating up my lungs.My father sat beside me in the car, his eyes trained on his phone.It’s so damn choking.“I want you on your best behavior. Fuck things up and let your emotions control you and you will be spending this week in the basement.” He couldn’t have bothered to spare me a glance.“Do you understand Nikolai?” His eyes turned.“Yes father.”I felt his calm eyes scanning through my features, and a trembling, nauseating feeling crawled out in my stomach.I had to dig my nails into my thighs to stop nervousness from taking over me.“I heard from your coach that you ran out of the rink almost immediately before the game was declared over.”My fingers curled tighter into my thighs.“I’m not,” I said quickly, my voice lower now, careful, controlled. “I just needed air.”His gaze stayed on me, cold and measuring, like he was stripping me apart layer by layer, search

Miss me?

NathanielI struggled with the two heavy bags containing groceries, while I tried texting.And I know that I probably look stupid, texting him and appearing like someone who I wasn’t, but it wasn’t like he gave me any choice either.He didn’t show up for the tutorial session and if this should continue it would be counted against me as a fail and it’s not something I am willing to risk.I exhaled, staring at his phone number which I had gotten from the phone program form he had filled out.Chewing my inner cheek, my brain running through a series of contemplation if it was worth it.And I couldn’t find any reasonable answer.After he left my apartment, guilt ate me raw and I felt absolutely terrible.I didn’t mean to act like a dick.And he has made it clear countless times that he likes me and possibly wants a relationship but I just can’t give him that.My life is too shitty and fucked up to add him to my pile of problems.Last night I couldn’t sleep one bit, tossing and turning on

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