All Chapters of Aria: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

I’m even more confused now than I was before. I thought I had everything figured out, nah that would be too easy. My life just wants to continue to get stressful, confusing, chaotic. Fun? No, not really. Sure I have fun with each of them, probably equally, but I should only be having fun with one of them.I’m really concerned as to whether Antonio proposed because he truly loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, or was it because he wanted to beat “the other guy” to it. Now, he has no idea that Albert is “the other guy” yet, I’m wanting to tell him, but when? I now have this recording deal that I really want to work on with Albert, but now Antonio wants me to walk in his show. I’m not a singer even though apparently many people think I am. I’m not a model, nowhere close.Albert knows I’m “engaged”; and I’m using that term loosely. Antonio doesn’t know anything about the other guy. Truly I should pick one and go with it and whatever comes with that one. I’m so confus

Albert and I are finishing up the last song for my record today. It’s been a long six weeks. It doesn’t help that I haven’t been feeling well lately and I have no idea why. I’m hoping it’s just a virus that will clear up on its own.I haven’t heard from nor ran into Antonio lately, but I know he’s alive. He’s supposed to head to Italy next week and I really do wish him the best. I hope he found someone to walk in his show. It’s best though I haven’t heard from him though, my life has calmed down some and it’s been going pretty well with Albert. He’s amazing in the studio and in the bedroom and I couldn’t ask for anything better. As I’m in the recording booth finishing up this track, I start to feel nauseous. After the last four times I got sick, we now have a trash can in there with me. And it’s being used right now. Why?I finally go out and listen to the song with Albert and watch him as he does his magic mixing it. This album is turning out to be better than anything I ever ima

Albert surely made it a point to be with me no matter where I was, if Antonio was going to be there. I felt like a child, I was being babysat. He claims it was because he didn’t trust him, but I’m starting to think it was because he didn’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust me either. I am weak, I’m an addict. We have been through all of the photos, everything was Antonio like we had planned. He was there during the shoot to make sure everything went well as well. Albert didn’t like that very much, sorry.The release party is tonight. The label is throwing a party at a local hotel lounge and I’m kind of excited. I have no idea what to expect, I’m a songwriter, I don’t go to these things. No matter who sang my songs, I never was in attendance to a record release with my song on it. This should be fun.While I worked on a wardrobe for the photos, I did get something else for this event as well. A very sexy black gown, sparkling, low cut, high slit, something that Antonio designed just for me.

As much as I usually like going to these award shows, this one is different. I’m honestly afraid of the media now after my party three weeks ago. The media took so much and twisted it in so many ways. Not cool. However, what did I think was going to happen?There were so many tabloids and social media posts that brought up both guys, not always in a good way. I’m still apparently seeing both of them in their eyes and the fact that I had that altercation with Albert on the deck, that made headlines. “Engaged and Friendly with Another Man”. Sure. So Antonio and I are in New York City for the Billboard Music Awards tonight and I’m just trying to get through it. We arrived last without incident and have been spending the day being pampered, getting ready.The red carpet is in about an hour. I’m really dreading this one. The Grammy’s looked similar to what it’s going to look like tonight. I was there with Antonio, engaged to Antonio, Albert in tow. Then I went through a stint with Albert

I still cannot believe what happened with Antonio and Albert. It’s been two weeks and we are getting ready to head to court for Antonio’s court hearing about this situation. I’m really praying that everything is dropped and it doesn’t make him out to be a menace. If anyone is a bad person, it’s Albert.Several times over the past two weeks, Albert has texted me to let me know that the only way he is dropping charges is if I slept with him. How is this okay? First off, with a protection from abuse order, he shouldn’t be texting me at all. But with the threats too, for real.As we are walking into the court house in the city, there of course are cameras. Sure, let's publish this everywhere. We really don’t need the publicity right now. Albert is already there talking to the press. Why is this man even being questioned about anything? This isn’t cool.Albert looks over at me and as we are walking in and blows me a kiss. This man doesn’t know when to stop. Thankfully I have all of the tex