My son catches the edge of my nail.Not my finger. Not skin.Only the thin white rim of a cracked nail, dirty near the cuticle from blood, salt, and machine grease.He holds it like it is enough.I let him believe that because the alternative is killing him with love.The seaplane shivers under us. The vibration climbs through the floor, through the emergency blanket, through the towel wrapped around Leo's portable core.My son loses my nail.His hand opens.Small. Furious. Searching.My body moves before I do.Half an inch.That is all. Half an inch of a mother's hand lowering toward a newborn who should not have to learn restraint before hunger, before warmth, before a name. His fist should meet my palm. Someone should be allowed to say mine without turning the word into a hazard.The skin at his throat flushes.Fast."Back up," Sarah says.I stop."I'm not touching him.""Back up anyway."Her voice comes from the cockpit, flat and rough around the edges. Not unkind. Worse. Useful.
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