Alle Kapitel von Not bound by honey: Kapitel 31 – Kapitel 40

It had been six months since Jason and I started sharing a room. We moved into mine because the kids already knew it as ours. It was hard at first. I had started getting used to sleeping alone. Sometimes I would move and accidentally brush against him. His body always reacted in some small way, but he never made a move. He did not even try to hold me or end up doing so by accident. Many nights I still lay awake. Sometimes I would turn and watch him breathe. If only he knew how much he meant to me. Our history played in my mind often. He said he did all this for the children and I believed that at some level that was true. However, I knew a part of him had always loved me. That was what made everything harder. What if I broke him the same way I had broken him in Italy? But what if continuing like this did more damage than what I had done back then? This had all been my way of playing it safe. Deep down I had been hoping Chris would finally come home. But what if he never did? I could

The door closed behind us with a soft click, Jason’s hands didn’t hesitate this time. They gripped my waist, pulling me flush against him, his body hard and unyielding against mine. Moving his hands everywhere anchoring me, guiding me, claiming me in a way that left no doubt he had waited for this moment. The heat radiating from him made my skin tingle, every nerve alive. He leaned close, his lips tracing my jaw, my neck, I was ready to let him engrave himself into me. My hands felt lost, it had been so long that someone has touched me. So much like the first time when he laid his hands on me. I had been yearning to be touched. My fingers trembled slightly as I reached for the buttons of my blouse, and he caught my wrist before I could undo the top one. “Slow,” he murmured, voice low, commanding. “Let me see you, every inch.” I obeyed, letting the fabric slip over my shoulders, feeling him inhale sharply. His eyes darkened, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. The sig

I tilted my head, pretending to think. Steam curled around us, water still streaming down our shoulders. “I’ll admit,” I said slowly, “I may have misjudged it.” Jason laughed, resting his forehead against mine. “A very practical woman, reconsidering her position?” “Don’t get used to it.” He reached past me to turn the water off, and suddenly it felt very quiet with the distant waves, a seagull calling, the faint creak of the cottage settling in the morning sun. “We haven’t even had coffee,” I said. “Coffee is overrated,” he replied. I raised an eyebrow. “You say that now.” We stepped out, wrapping ourselves in oversized towels that smelled faintly of sea air and detergent. The floor was cool under our feet as we wandered back into the bedroom, not in a hurry to dress properly. I pulled on one of his shirts; he didn’t bother with much more than loose shorts. The light had grown brighter, the gold shifting into something clearer and more awake. The bed was still unmade,

Chris slammed the door behind him. I ran upstairs to our room, each breath stopping short before it could fully settle in my lungs. Nausea rose quickly, burning at the back of my throat. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. I can’t stay here, I realised. I went straight to our luggage, pulled out my laptop, and opened it with shaking hands. I checked the road back home. We still had two weeks left. I was not going to spend them here and I was not going home early and letting Chris ruin yet another thing for me. The audacity of it all. No remorse or hesitation. As if he still owned pieces of our lives. I didn’t want a single reminder of Hemming Port. I searched instead for somewhere else somewhere quieter. A small forest town two hours from home came up. I didn’t overthink it. I clicked on the first cabin I saw. I started frantically packing, barely thinking, just moving. I packed Jason’s things too, leaving nothing behind. I gathered everything in one

The kids were doing great. I thought calling them would make being away easier, but it only made me miss them more.Jocelyn and Blake said they missed their runs with Jase. Timothy said he missed my breakfast, which is music to any parent’s ears. We both promised we’d be home soon. I promised Timothy I’d make his favourite pancakes with all his favourite toppings.We spent almost two hours on the phone, catching up on stories about school friends and sports and everything in between.It was already around ten, and we still had to head up to the meeting spot to meet our guide. The trail started just after ten so we could reach the picnic site in time for lunch.Thankfully our bags were already packed. I’d told Jason we should bring more clothes than we thought we’d need, just in case it got cold camping outdoors. So we packed extra layers, more blankets, and a few additional snacks too.At the meeting spot we were introduced to our guide, Jeff.Jeff explained the ins and outs and went