All Chapters of Playing For Ruin : Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

Brandon The gym was scanty, unusual, just few people lazying around. Ferdi wasn’t here so it was much more boring even though all he did was throw things at me. I went through the backdoor to Ashen, the gang’s new underground hideout. Few members were hanging around, many bruised. One of the members stood aggressively. “You didn’t tell us we were against wolves. How you gon’ take responsibility for this?” Their rioting became too unbearable. Some used slurs. I couldn’t say anything. It was Ferdi who knew how to control these thugs. I bit my inner lip like it would save me from their ranting. The air in the hideout felt heavier than usual, thick with smoke and the metallic smell of old blood that never fully washed out of the concrete. Someone had left a half-eaten packet of chips on the table. Another was nursing a split lip with a dirty cloth. They all looked at me like I was supposed to have answers I didn’t have. Kirra, the class president in school, spoke up. She hardly spok

Ferdi The door shut behind us. The smell of antiseptic and nurses soap made something in me snap. My head spun twice. I almost dropped Karel. I stood for a second before dropping him on the bed. He felt light. So light. Like he'd been running on anger and pride for weeks. My stomach turned when I dropped him. I blacked out for another seconds while I held the sheets tight so he wouldn't see. No one could see me like this. I felt my knee go weak as seconds rushed. The nurse came up to us. Karel's eyes darted between the nurse and me. His eyes were saying something I couldn't understand. I never understood. I didn't want to either. “I'll take care of him," the nurse suggested and I nodded. Lifted my legs from the bedside and walked out of the room feeling his gaze burning behind my back. Immediately the door shut me from his world. A memory I couldn't see clearly flashed like a tidal wave. Someone pushed me down a cliff. I couldn't see the face but it looked too familiar. It w

KarelHolding myself back from reacting to Ferdi was one of the worst experiences. My chest felt tight every second I thought that I was selling myself to him. Even though I've been dreaming of something like this. For us to be this close. It didn't feel like this was it. I couldn't let myself savour the moment. I couldn't bear to look at him either. I was scared, maybe if I do, I might regret it. My heart may no longer be able to hold itself together.The door clicked. Zayne's voice was gone from the hallway. And his was in the room instead.He stood at Ferdi's doorway, staring with shock and a little bit of hurt that made his eyes dark. My eyes shifted from him to Ferdi who was also facing him with an unreadable expression. I turned away, the dim light helping me hide my face from Zayne. I felt stupid at that moment, having an affair with my brother's boyfriend. I bit the inside of my lips. What a shame.The room was loud with silence, no one wanted to speak first. Then Zayne br

KarelFor the first time, I let myself drown in Ferdi's cologne throughout the ride. My head rested comfortably in the crook of his neck, and the arm wrapped around me felt like a shield against everything outside the car.I knew my legs were weak.But I also knew I wasn't trying very hard to move.For once, I let myself hide in his arms.I was just too greedy.None of us spoke during the first ten minutes. Everyone seemed to be harbouring their own thoughts, and I wasn't an exception. Because everything had happened so fast, after the message from Dad earlier, I felt uneasy. It had been pretty long since he'd texted me, even though he'd always shown he was still in control of my life. He called the coach to remove me from the team. Gabriel also sent people to mob me on the street long ago just because I didn't want to get attached to his dirty business. Now he was back. Diego wasn't about to sit back and watch me run away from him. He used my phone to run dirty. I didn't even remem

KarelA thin strip of light slipped through the blinds, jolting me awake. My body felt spineless and useless as a hand went to my eyes squinting at the strangeness of the atmosphere. I did a fast sweep around the room.My heart lurched.Where was I?Ferdi's condo…Fuck!I stood up sharply.My hands flew to my legs.The pain was still there.I let a finger trace the stitch. What happened? How long had I slept? What about the tournament? I didn't know how I stood up from the bed, but I sure as hell know I was on the floor before I could register.I tried again nevertheless, fell, and stood again. I wasn't giving up so easily. The house was eerily quiet, like it was suddenly abandoned.Ferdi was gone.The silence hit harder than the pain in my leg.How the hell could he leave me alone in his space that smelled like him?I searched for my phone. Later I'll find out about my legs. All I wanted to do was go to the camp, even if it meant running there. I checked the date on my phone. My eyes