《You Lost Me When You Found Her》全部章節：第 1 章 - 第 7 章

THE PROMISE When I was seven, I believed Adrian Cole would marry me. It wasn't a strange belief because everyone around us seemed to think the same thing. Our mothers had been best friends since college, our fathers had known each other for years, and Adrian and I had practically grown up in each other's homes. Whenever our families gathered, someone always made the same joke about us becoming husband and wife one day. I used to blush whenever they said it. Adrian never did. He would roll his eyes, complain that the adults were being ridiculous and drag me away before I could defend myself. But when we were alone, he was different.At eight, I asked him if he really hated the idea of marrying me. We had been lying on the grass behind his house, watching the clouds drift lazily across the sky. Adrian had his hands tucked beneath his head and seemed far more interested in the clouds than in my question. When I nudged him, he finally turned to look at me. You're annoying, he said. I f

THE WAY WE WEREThe next morning, I woke up before Adrian. His arm was still wrapped around my waist, his face buried against the back of my neck. For a while, I lay perfectly still, afraid that the slightest movement would wake him. Adrian slept heavily whenever he was tired, and I had always found it strangely comforting to watch him like this. Without his usual teasing smile or careless attitude, he looked younger. Almost like the boy I had grown up with.I remembered the first time I realized Adrian was handsome. I had been fifteen, and he had just returned from a summer camp. He had grown taller in the few weeks he was gone, his shoulders broader and his face sharper. When he walked into the living room, I had stared at him for so long that my mother eventually asked if I was feeling alright. Adrian had looked at me and laughed, completely unaware of the reason I couldn't stop staring. I had gone to my room that night and spent nearly an hour thinking about him. It was probably

THE THINGS I KEPT IGNORINGThe next morning, I woke up with a dull ache in my chest. I had barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I heard Adrian's voice again. We grew up together. That's all. I had repeated those words so many times in my head that they had started to lose their meaning. Or maybe I was simply trying to make them mean something else. My phone lay beside my pillow, and I stared at it for several minutes before finally picking it up. There was no message from Adrian. I told myself I wasn't waiting for one, but by eight o'clock, I had checked my phone six times. By nine, I was angry with myself. Adrian and I had gone days without speaking before. Sometimes we argued. Sometimes he got busy. It wasn't unusual. There was no reason for me to be acting like a woman waiting for a confession that had never been promised. That thought should have comforted me. Instead, it made my chest hurt even more. I was halfway through preparing breakfast when my phone finally rang.

THE THINGS LOVE NEVER PROMISEDI didn't cry until I got home.Perhaps that was the part that hurt the most. I had spent the entire drive convincing myself that I was fine. I had stopped at traffic lights, waited behind slow moving cars and even waved at a neighbour who happened to recognize me on my street. Anyone looking at me would have thought it was an ordinary evening. Only I knew that something had quietly fallen apart inside me. Adrian's words had followed me all the way home like my shadow, refusing to leave no matter how many times I tried to think about something else. “Elena, I never said we were”. They were simple words. Honest words. Yet they had somehow undone years of silent hope in the space of a few seconds.The house was already quiet like a grave yard when I stepped inside. My mother had left the porch light on as she always did whenever I came home late, and for reasons I couldn't explain, that small act of love nearly brought tears to my eyes. I slipped off my sh